First mothers day disappointment

[Goodytoshoes]

I feel so guilty for writing this.

My partner told me last night that he can't really afford to get me anything for mothers day and I told him I understood because finances are a bit tight at the moment. I mentioned I just wanted to spend it with my DC, but maybe I could pamper myself on the cheap as well by doing honey and sugar facemasks, and watch movies etc.

He knows there's a thing I wanted from my DC for mothers day, which is only £20, and I suggested that he could get me it when finances are better as a delayed mothers day present, and he said that was a good idea.

Everyone was happy!

Today arrives and something comes through the post for him. Turns out he spent £35 on a jacket for himself so he could start running again.

I don't begrudge him the jacket, and I'm delighted that he's getting back into his fitness. But I can't help feeling the tiniest bit hurt and I feel like such a bitch for feeling that way. AIBU?

You know, thinking about it, I probably wouldn't wait for Mother's Day. It's probably just setting you up for disappointment. I would say something now.

I can't be arsed with drama. I would ask him if he's done this to be deliberately hurtful, because it's hard to believe it could be anything else. Even if he did plan to surprise you, there's just no need for it. I can't be arsed with that kind of passive aggressive shit.

When you are with a shit partner, and don't want to accept it, a day like Mothers Day can seem like a big deal to try and wipe out the precious 364 days when he was a shit. It is about giving him a chance to show he isn't completely useless and it hasn't been a complete waste of time..

My kids are grown up but the only time I ever got even a card on Mother's Day from my boys was when they made them at school. They both forgot my birthday too and it does hurt a lot. Luckily I have a daughter that makes an effort. Last year was home made cards and a bunch off daffs, meant the world. My ex was the same (expected multiple gifts on Fathers Day though) I think he's being really selfish OP, it's not like you're asking for the Crown Jewels which most mothers aren't just a bit of appreciation. And to say he's got no money and buy himself a jacket. Beggars belief!

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a Mother’s Day gift, or some other item.

The point is that he has money to buy himself what he wants but not to spend on OP.

It’s worse that his running jacket trumps her MD gift.

"It’s mn bingo
All’s I wants is a handmade card and wilted flowers✅
It’s your fault op, you’re a doormat✅
All Men are fuckwit✅
You’re a goddess who birthed a baby HIS baby from your holy tunnel. He should shower you with unicorn dust and lancome✅
If you had joint bank account that’d sort this. You must have access to his money immediately✅"

You forgot "Why are you expecting presents, why would adults buy gifts for each other, no one wants tat cluttering up the place, the warm saintly glow of being a pious martyr should be reward enough."

Toss pot.

That's really bad OP..... shows where you come on the priority list. At the bottom.

@SunshineCake

When you are with a shit partner, and don't want to accept it, a day like Mothers Day can seem like a big deal to try and wipe out the precious 364 days when he was a shit. It is about giving him a chance to show he isn't completely useless and it hasn't been a complete waste of time..

This with bells on

Its not nice. He just takes her for granted. Op did you tell him.

You forgot "Why are you expecting presents, why would adults buy gifts for each other, no one wants tat cluttering up the place, the warm saintly glow of being a pious martyr should be reward enough."

Ahh yes the mummy martyrs a wilted daff, a handful of gravel from the park,no mere shop bought present can match a child love for its mother

Did you speak to your OH OP? I wouldn’t wait till Mother’s Day personally. I would call him out on it now

previous 364 days..

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

The 'pushed HIS baby out of your vagina', gave birth to HIS baby' is really annoying and trite though. Unless OP is a surrogate she gave birth to their wanted baby.

This!

@Nekoness

Nope. I’d make a big show putting a big return label on it and when he blurts out asking what you’re doing ... feign surprise and ask what he means? He said he couldn’t afford a Mother’s Day gift and money was tight so surely this has to be a mistake and he doesn’t actually think you’re going to let him treat you like a worthless piece of shit? And smile

If a woman posted on here that her partner had done this, she'd be told she was in an abusive relationship and needed to LTB!

But it’s a holy tunnel of wonderment that pushed a baby. Not just any ole tunnel

I’ve never pushed any baby out my tunnel. I’ve had a slice and dash c section with all my babies

Guess that renders me inadequate, couldn’t even manage tunnelling

It's her first bloody mother's Day. Of course he should make an effort!!!

What would he say if you did fuck all for father's Day?

zoe I agree. In fact, I am tired of reading suggested acts of control and cruelty masquerading as ‘advice’ on here. Spiteful acts meted out to bring one’s apparently errant husband back in line as though he were a naughty child to be disciplined.

If my dh packaged up my relatively cheap running jacket with that speech, I’d wonder what the fuck was wrong with his head.

It's your first Mother's Day.
I think that should be special even if every other Mother's Day isn't

It doesn't sound like he has grown up and realises you are supposed to be a team yet.

You need to stand up for yourself and your child otherwise you will end up like all the other posters whose OHs bugger off to do sports etc all day leaving you with all the grunt work.

BrumBoo:

Oh, the faux-shock! Loving the extra touch of hypocrisy, that the father only opens his wallet once little Timmy knows what he's spending on. Doesn’t matter that he wouldn't be a father at all if not for the mother of his child, 10 month or years old.

No one cares how sanctimonious and smug you all are about getting nothing for mother's day until Darling Children can make an adequately shite card at school and pick some bloody daisies from the back garden. It has zero to do with the issue the op is dealing with, and quite frankly no one else really gives a shit that you 'simply don't understand it, you're not his mother, harhar headtilt tinklylaugh'. Save it for all the threads a week on Sunday, where I'm sure the best part of your day will be kicking down other women who feel used by their families hmm.

I think I love you BrumBoo

@NuniaBeeswax

You sounds like my kind of person.
MN is a weird place.

Go card shopping. Get 4 cards let your baby. Choose one. Make hand and foot prints Inside, and display it.
Get yourself a gift and open them at breakfast. Your allowed to do this.

@Goodytoshoes

I feel so guilty for writing this.

My partner told me last night that he can't really afford to get me anything for mothers day and I told him I understood because finances are a bit tight at the moment. I mentioned I just wanted to spend it with my DC, but maybe I could pamper myself on the cheap as well by doing honey and sugar facemasks, and watch movies etc.

He knows there's a thing I wanted from my DC for mothers day, which is only £20, and I suggested that he could get me it when finances are better as a delayed mothers day present, and he said that was a good idea.

Everyone was happy!

Today arrives and something comes through the post for him. Turns out he spent £35 on a jacket for himself so he could start running again.

I don't begrudge him the jacket, and I'm delighted that he's getting back into his fitness. But I can't help feeling the tiniest bit hurt and I feel like such a bitch for feeling that way. AIBU?

How did your Mother's Day go?