To think I wasn't rude to husbands colleagues?

[catnoirr]

Good Afternoon,

It's been playing on my mind all morning, yesterday I had to go to DH work to collect something. He's just a manager in retail.

As I was waiting a colleague came up to me and was like "Oh you're (dh name) wife, been wondering what you look like!" and started giggling, and then she goes "Aww he's such a good man, he doesn't even flirt with anyone and customers come in asking if he's married, giving their numbers but he just doesn't entertain it! He must really love you a lot!"

I just responded like "That's normal, don't think I'm gonna give him brownie points for acting like a married man" (I said it in a nice tone so not serious or anything)

Dh comes over to give me what I needed and colleague goes "I was just telling your wife how loyal you are compared to previous managers" and Dh just goes "oh yeah, but she doesn't appreciate it" (all jokey!)

I didn't say anything just smiled, said my goodbyes etc then left.

Dh comes home demanding why I was rude to his colleague embarrassing him. I said, I'm sorry but I don't appreciate the first time someone comes up to me gushing how you don't flirt with people lol, It's normal to not be disloyal.
He then goes on about how she's only young and was just trying to be nice (I'm 27, the girl was around 20). I said I don't need reassuring from a stranger lol but now it's just weird.

I'm literally dumbfounded at the whole situation lmao! He's now moody saying I've embarrassed him!
I am heavily pregnant and maybe hormonal but I don't think I'm being unreasonable here?

Urgh it's not you, its them.

You did nothing wrong. I’m not sure what he thinks was rude. His colleague was rude and as their manager he should have spoken to them about the inappropriate nature of their conversation with a member of the public/their managers spouse.

YANBU. She sounds like she was playing games. Think you handled it admirably.

What an odd thing for his colleague to even say to you in the first place. Bizarre and way too forward for me.

It’s reminds of when people say; oh you DH is such a good dad always babysitting the kids

She was pushy and inappropriate. You've done nothing wrong.

Definitely not you being rude!

What his colleague said was inappropriate and unprofessional.

I feel sorry for her if she thinks simply not being a slimy creep is praiseworthy.

weird thing for her to say to you, but your reply was fairly curt. The sort of thing id expect to see on a message board but not necessarily in real life. I think id have just smiled and not even entertained the conversation.

Btw she’s probably the one flirting with him. She was just letting you know that he has attention from someone else.

I think that you were very restrained.

She's got the hots foe your DH I suspect - she's trying to connect with you to get to him ... don't feed the monster and don't fall out with your DH over this

Weird that you say ‘he’s just a manager in retail’ is that not a good enough job?

You weren’t rude but I wouldn’t have responded that way. I’d have just laughed it off, logged she was a tit then asked husband about it later.

She was the one who way overstepped the Mark!!! There was no need for to even say any of what she did. You did nothing wrong at all i think you handled it very well and gave a good response.

Stand your ground on this you are totally in the right.

She fancies him.

You could have said far, far more. How DARE she speak to you like that. And how dare HE blame YOU.

I’m angry on your behalf.

@SameToo

Weird that you say ‘he’s just a manager in retail’ is that not a good enough job?

You weren’t rude but I wouldn’t have responded that way. I’d have just laughed it off, logged she was a tit then asked husband about it later.

I know I realised when I read it back, it sounded like that.. not my intention was meant to just say his job so it's clear the environment!

Weird that you say ‘he’s just a manager in retail’ is that not a good enough job?

I took that to mean he’s not Tim Peake or an air ambulance pilot/doc or Tom Hardy or Batman.

Shes not your problem. Your DHs reaction however is.

@SmileYouDown

She fancies him.

You could have said far, far more. How DARE she speak to you like that. And how dare HE blame YOU.

I’m angry on your behalf.

Yes! He mentioned her name in passing once when I was asking him about a new hair style and he said "oh god I've had enough of hair today with (said colleague) asking me what hair colour she should have after she asked to see your picture". But I just brushed it because it's quite an informal environment so I assumed these convos happen in groups etc!

I was just trying to answer composed and how a mumsnetter would haha don't want to look like angry huge pregnant woman

I think she was being weird, but also given that it is his workplace, I think i would have swiftly changed the subject rather than go silent and make it awkward. She may have been the catalyst but I wouldn't be giving her the satisfaction of regaling the tea room with a tale of how she met the manager's wife and it was awkward.

Ugh, she was rude and inappropriate, you were very correct in your response. Her comments really were quite odd. Your husband's reponse was odd and rude to you though.

She sounds over-familiar and lacking boundaries - and your husband doesn't sound concerned about that. He's not doing his job.

I don't know what you meant by 'just a retail manager', but there was nothing wrong with what you said.

What a weird conversation to have, she's the only embarrassing one, that interaction would make me feel uncomfortable as well. I would love to know what she said to your DH afterwards to make him be so annoyed at how rude you were, sounds like this woman is probably the one trying to flirt with your husband and maybe cause problems between you two.

Good on you for not pandering to that sexist shite as well. Imagine a male colleague of yours meeting your husband for the first time and telling him how loyal you are and how you never flirt with anyone

Sounded like she was doing some weird reverse psychology where she's trying to make you aware how desirable he is and make you worried by telling you how loyal he is? I think what you said could be taken as blunt depending on the tone, but was perfectly reasonable considering the rudeness of his colleague!

Mentionitis.

They fancy each other. Be careful OP.

In no world is it appropriate for a colleague to comment to their bosses spouse about his fidelity or otherwise. I'd be telling your DH to be careful, if he doesn't have boundaries he could easily end up with a sexual harrassment claim

How weird.
Why was she interested in what you looked like?
Weird for her to talk about flirting etc too.