To think I wasn't rude to husbands colleagues?

[catnoirr]

Good Afternoon,

It's been playing on my mind all morning, yesterday I had to go to DH work to collect something. He's just a manager in retail.

As I was waiting a colleague came up to me and was like "Oh you're (dh name) wife, been wondering what you look like!" and started giggling, and then she goes "Aww he's such a good man, he doesn't even flirt with anyone and customers come in asking if he's married, giving their numbers but he just doesn't entertain it! He must really love you a lot!"

I just responded like "That's normal, don't think I'm gonna give him brownie points for acting like a married man" (I said it in a nice tone so not serious or anything)

Dh comes over to give me what I needed and colleague goes "I was just telling your wife how loyal you are compared to previous managers" and Dh just goes "oh yeah, but she doesn't appreciate it" (all jokey!)

I didn't say anything just smiled, said my goodbyes etc then left.

Dh comes home demanding why I was rude to his colleague embarrassing him. I said, I'm sorry but I don't appreciate the first time someone comes up to me gushing how you don't flirt with people lol, It's normal to not be disloyal.
He then goes on about how she's only young and was just trying to be nice (I'm 27, the girl was around 20). I said I don't need reassuring from a stranger lol but now it's just weird.

I'm literally dumbfounded at the whole situation lmao! He's now moody saying I've embarrassed him!
I am heavily pregnant and maybe hormonal but I don't think I'm being unreasonable here?

I think you were a bit rude. She could easily have been trying to be friendly and just got it a bit wrong.
'Thanks. I know I've got a good one there'

@GreenClock

She was overfamiliar. You coolly put her in her place, which is good.

DH owes you an apology. He also needs to ensure that his behaviour gives her no false hope of a relationship. He needs to be strictly pofessional in his interactions with this person.

Yes, she sounds both over-familiar and a bit thick. If you are a twenty-year-old with a violent crush on your manager to the point where you're mildly obsessed with what his wife looks like, when that wife shows up at your shop, surely you realise it's pretty thick to tell said wife you've been dying to know what she looks like, and how lucky she is he doesn't flirt with customers?

And what on earth kind of retail is it that customers regularly ask if a member of staff if married and give him their numbers? Was it Abercrombie and Fitch who used to keep topless male staff hired for their looks on the shop floor?

She fancies your husband.

She is attempting to normalise extra marital affairs in his mind through her interactions with him by suggesting everyone is at it, including his predecessor.

He is currently a normal loyal husband. Some young women find that a challenge. She isn’t your friend and she certainly isn’t his friend. Careful how you handle this.

you've done that girl a favour by telling her the truth. Hopefully she will go away and think about that and realise you are right and stop giving men free rein to behave irresponsibly by acting like its some kind of miracle when they dont.
You said exactly the right thing it wasnt rude at all.

@Mmn654123

She fancies your husband.

She is attempting to normalise extra marital affairs in his mind through her interactions with him by suggesting everyone is at it, including his predecessor.

He is currently a normal loyal husband. Some young women find that a challenge. She isn’t your friend and she certainly isn’t his friend. Careful how you handle this.

1000%

@StamfordHill

You were rude. When someone tells you something nice about your nearest and dearest, you acknowledge it.

What about, "I love working with your dad, he's such an honest and scrupulous man." Or, "It's a pleasure teaching your daughter, she's always so well behaved."

Would you also respond stiffly, "I'm not giving anyone brownie points for doing what they should,"?

The salesperson was telling you something nice - even if it's expected of him - and you brushed her off.

Watch out OP the colleague is on the thread

You handled it well!
I would have gone mental at that girl..
Sounds like she fancies him...

Colleague sounds like a moron . You were quite restrained l think

I would just put it down to a clumsy moment on the part of the employee. Maybe she has a crush on him.

@VegetarianDeathCult I forgot about Abercrombie and their models haha.

Imagine a supermarket that has been on the high street for a very long time... and it's name reminds you of the northern lights lmao.

Dh came home one evening telling me a woman came in with a poem for him. I just literally started laughing but now I'm thinking, WHAT IS GOING ON in this store

I think my insecurity also is that me and him met 8 years ago when I was an assistant and he was my supervisor in another well known supermarket lol! So I know how easily stuff can happen.

Definitely sounds like she’s been trying it on with him and he has turned her down. She sounds like one of those workplace snakes who think nothing of trying to steal their married colleagues just for kicks. And would then move on.

She was cheeky to her bosses wife and thinks (rightly) that she can get away with it because they flirt together.

These “be careful” responses are baffling me.

What does OP have to be careful about? She can’t change anything that happens when she’s not there!

You weren’t rude really but you didn’t owe her a response. In that situation I would keep a bit back, you don’t know her, you don’t need to know her and she doesn’t need to know you. She made a stupid comment, that’s on her, no need to feed into the ‘banter’ .

You are now being wound up to think she is chasing him. She could be, or could just be immature and filterless. Again you can’t control that and winding yourself up by looking for clues is ridiculous. So I would say keep your self respect and your self confidence and forget about the whole thing. If similar happens, as someone said previously, change the subject.

Did your DH hear her and you or does he think you were rude not answering when he spoke?

So if he's not an Abercrombie and Fitch topless model, he's a supermarket sex god who gets poems and phone numbers on a regular basis? I want to hear more about this high street shag fest.

Your husband has a cult following, OP. Watch out for his fans pretending to browse fish fingers on the frozen food aisle and asking him lingeringly whether there are any special offers.

I vote she fancies him too and is testing the waters a bit.

The colleague was way over familiar and very odd. If that is your first ever interaction with her, she sounds thick and lacks social etiquette.

Oh yup. She is interested in him and worse, he cares what she thinks.

What did claim was actually said?

Definitely them not you!

She has a crush on him. He's probably a bit flattered (as men are by any attention from younger women) and it's a boost to his ego. I don't like the sound of it. Be careful

My long-term partner works in hospitality and I’ve had similar issues with these kinds of girls. She’s young and probably just a big mouthed girl with no concept or respect for others. She may have a crush but may also just be attention seeking or trying to make herself feel a bit special.I wouldn’t read into it too much and I think reacting the way you did is fine. What were you supposed to do? Congratulate him for being a decent human? I would have a serious chat with him to explain you don’t appreciate his response with situations like that and explain that being a faithful husband doesn’t earn him any extra rewards.

The colleague was being weird. In my head I might wonder what people's partners look like, but I wouldn't be gossiping with other store colleagues about what they look like, let alone mention it when said colleagues partner comes in!

I'd have felt really awkward at this exchange. It was definitely them and not you though.

Sounds like your DH has a fan girl who's probably annoyed he doesn't give her the attention she'd like.I'm betting she's use to having blokes fawn over her 🙄

What she said was rude tbh and unless she's stupid then it sounds like she was trying to stir the pot.

When you've quite rightly put her back in her box she's gone crying to your DH and look it's worked because you're DH is peeved with you.Mission accomplished by annoying fan girl.

She was very inappropriate and clearly has a thing for him.

NB - does everyone want to shop at his supermarket now? There's no titillation to be had at my local co-op, I want to know what we're missing!