To think I wasn't rude to husbands colleagues?

[catnoirr]

Good Afternoon,

It's been playing on my mind all morning, yesterday I had to go to DH work to collect something. He's just a manager in retail.

As I was waiting a colleague came up to me and was like "Oh you're (dh name) wife, been wondering what you look like!" and started giggling, and then she goes "Aww he's such a good man, he doesn't even flirt with anyone and customers come in asking if he's married, giving their numbers but he just doesn't entertain it! He must really love you a lot!"

I just responded like "That's normal, don't think I'm gonna give him brownie points for acting like a married man" (I said it in a nice tone so not serious or anything)

Dh comes over to give me what I needed and colleague goes "I was just telling your wife how loyal you are compared to previous managers" and Dh just goes "oh yeah, but she doesn't appreciate it" (all jokey!)

I didn't say anything just smiled, said my goodbyes etc then left.

Dh comes home demanding why I was rude to his colleague embarrassing him. I said, I'm sorry but I don't appreciate the first time someone comes up to me gushing how you don't flirt with people lol, It's normal to not be disloyal.
He then goes on about how she's only young and was just trying to be nice (I'm 27, the girl was around 20). I said I don't need reassuring from a stranger lol but now it's just weird.

I'm literally dumbfounded at the whole situation lmao! He's now moody saying I've embarrassed him!
I am heavily pregnant and maybe hormonal but I don't think I'm being unreasonable here?

She definately fancies him. You were not rude. She was rude, inappropriate and unprofessional. "been wondering what you look like".. this is weird. I've never wondered what my previous managers wife's looked like.

Tbh if someone goes around making totally inappropriate comments like that they should expect curt replies.

Her comment was on a par with people who tell a woman she is lucky her partner doesn't hit her.

What she said was a bit odd, but some people do just garble and just say out loud the most stupid things that flit through their brains.
I suspect DH was embarrassed and uncomfortable, work and home life colliding can be awkward. It’s no excuse for him behaving towards you the way he has, be sure to let him no he has no right to control what you think and say - it’s a slippery slope.

Yeah, colleague fancies your husband op.

Also even your DH is Brad Pitt, I have trouble believing that loads of customers try to give him their numbers all the time It sounds like she was trying to say "You better watch out because someone is going to steal your husband if you're not careful"

That girl was completely weird coming out with that shit and I'd imagine has a crush on your dh.

*know not no

Inappropriate and odd behaviour from her. I agree with pp that I think she fancies him.

She asked to see your picture?

She really fancies him.

@SmileYouDown

Weird that you say ‘he’s just a manager in retail’ is that not a good enough job?

I took that to mean he’s not Tim Peake or an air ambulance pilot/doc or Tom Hardy or Batman.

Yes! That's how I took it. ie, OP living in the real world. She knows her husband is a moderate fish in a small pond

I'd be concerned that your husband is blaming you for her awkward behavior.

She could have said ''Oh it's nice to put a face to your name'' rather than ''I wondered what you look like''.

She's basically admitted to you that she sees you as competition. Very silly girl and your husband should not be blaming you for the fact that a 20 year old at work said something silly and now feels awkward.

She sounds like a silly little girl to be honest.

She was overfamiliar. You coolly put her in her place, which is good.

DH owes you an apology. He also needs to ensure that his behaviour gives her no false hope of a relationship. He needs to be strictly pofessional in his interactions with this person.

Yeah she was definitely the rude one. I think I would have been a bit too puzzled by it all to come up with a response like yours op.

It’s sad that your dp thinks you need to appreciate the fact that he doesn’t flirt or cheat, but I guess that’s a pretty common opinion in the world at large.

The comments about previous managers might be why she said it? Are you aware of any gossip?

Otherwise she might fancy your Dh. If you meet her again I think it would be a good idea to be extra friendly so that she can’t get the idea in her head that you are jealous of her.

Whaaaat? I wonder what she told him. Sounds like she fancies him. Have you told him what you told us?

Yes, this is so strange. I wouldn’t dream of telling my boss’ wife that she’s so lucky because he doesn’t flirt.

It almost sounds like she was trying to ‘mark her territory’ in some way.

However, your husband should not be taking HER inappropriate behaviour out on you. That’s not on and I would be having stern words with him about this.

She said she was wondering what you looked like but had already seen your picture?

Bit embarrassing that you think your husband is ‘just’ a retail manager

@BellamyBells

Whaaaat? I wonder what she told him. Sounds like she fancies him. Have you told him what you told us?

probably something like, I can't believe your wife doesn't appreciate what a great guy you are (I like she would blah)

My first thought was that you were kind enough to give her advice about marital expectations (or relationship expectation in general) ie that you don't hook up with other people, as she seemed in need of this.

Although him 'siding' with her isn't good.

I'd be wary of her

She's 20 and an adult and it's completely out of order to initiate a conversation about how loyal someone's husbands is the first time you meet them

Your DH reaction and jumping in to defend her is also suspect

It's worrying that he is taking her side when she shouldn't have said anything beyond, hi, nice to meet you.

Sounds like you were maybe a little blunt but im not sure what she expected when she comes up and says such a thing.

Agree she's probably been flirting with him.

@OhCaptain

She said she was wondering what you looked like but had already seen your picture?

I know! I just didn't want to start ranting to him and bringing up these points to make it a big issue.

I expect you were taken aback by what she unexpectedly said and therefore didn't come up with the 'perfect answer' at the time and now it's preying on your mind. Try to explain to DH that this is the case and hopefully it'll blow over.