MIL not feeding baby

[JenIsAGem]

10mo DS now spends Mondays at MIL house for childcare while me & DH both work on Mondays.
Drop off around 8am and pick up around 5pm.

She was very keen to follow our 'routine' and asked us to write it down for her so she could stick to it. He has 3-4 7oz bottles a day usually 7am, 11am, 2pm and 6pm. He usually drinks all his milk, as well as his 3 meals.

The first time MIL looked after him she tried to give him a bottle at 11am but said he didn't want it, only drank 2oz then refused the rest. I totally accepted this because it's all new to him, he was probably distracted and confused in a partially new environment. I held hope that because he refused this, he would easily take his afternoon bottle at 2pm.

When we picked DS up at 4:30pm I could tell he was cranky and tired but he had had a big day so that's what I put it down to. He had done really well.
She called later on in the evening after DS had went to sleep to have a general chat, (we all get on great and DH and her have a lovely relationship) we asked her why only 1 bottle had been used (we packed 3 just in case) and that's when she told us she didn't make him another bottle because she didn't want to waste more milk and he ate all his pasta for lunch anyway.
All day he only had a total of 9oz when it should've been 21oz by this point!

DH tried to express how important it was to feed him the afternoon bottle as he was really hungry, wasting milk isn't an issue at all and we would rather waste milk than DS go hungry.

Fast forward to yesterday, the is second time she looked after him and the same thing happened. She didn't give him his afternoon bottle, she said 'well he ate all of his pasta for lunch so I didn't bother'.
DH had made a point about giving him this bottle when he dropped him off in the AM, also by text just to remind her that he will probably be due his afternoon bottle soon etc.

When he got home we made him a bottle straight away. I've never seen DS so hungry, he was ravenous. He gulped down a 9oz bottle (usually drinks 7oz before bed) so fast it was gone in about 60 seconds. I felt so bad for him. He was so hungry, I know he's not ready to drop this afternoon bottle yet. His routine is working fine.

AIBU to be quite annoyed with MIL about this?

YABU - I wouldn't be annoyed
YANBU - I would be annoyed too

@OhCaptain

Wow you’re very nasty. What is wrong with you? How can a post by a stranger on the internet rile you up so much you resort to insults?

I actually feel quite sorry for you. You must be very unhappy.

Not that I do need to explain myself but this post is maybe a few weeks old? I can’t remember the opening post, but I do think she needs to relax! Just from her last post I think she needs to relax. Why you need to be so nasty says more about you than my reading skills.

[quote Youllbeoldertoo]@OhCaptain

Wow you’re very nasty. What is wrong with you? How can a post by a stranger on the internet rile you up so much you resort to insults?

I actually feel quite sorry for you. You must be very unhappy.

Not that I do need to explain myself but this post is maybe a few weeks old? I can’t remember the opening post, but I do think she needs to relax! Just from her last post I think she needs to relax. Why you need to be so nasty says more about you than my reading skills.[/quote]
Lol I don’t think I’m the one riled up.

You came onto a thread and instead of saying anything constructive, you told her she needed to relax. So one might question why you felt the need to post that to a relatively new mum. A new mum who’d come back on specifically to say that she had relaxed and was happy, even though the routine hadn’t been stuck to.

You must be very unhappy to do that to a poster. What’s wrong with you?

[quote JenIsAGem]@callmeadoctor no problem haha.
I was really confused and worried about it at first too, we used to have an electric TT one but it was such a hassle so switched to cold water sterilising. Has been like this since he was about 4 months old, no problems at all. Followed all the instructions and even sterilised our own water bottles in the same way (totally separate to DS baby bottles!) and honestly it doesn't taste of anything. The smell fades gradually but it doesn't taste of chemicals at all. [/quote]
@JenIsAGem - Hi OP, I hope you don’t mind me asking you about the Milton cold water steriliser?! We’ve just bought one ready for our new arrival (first timers!). The instructions are seemingly quite simple but sparse and I’m a bit confused about what happens when you take the bottles/teats out after the 15 minutes. Do you just shake off the excess and then make the bottle with it still a bit wet from the solution? You sound very organised and I’d value your advice on what you do!!

@BumpGrowingAndINeedPantsPlease

Congratulations! I hope you have a safe & easy arrival for your little one soon ☺️

That is literally exactly what we do with our bottles! We take them out when they need to be used, shake off the excess water as much as possible (although sometimes in a rush I just shake it off a few times!), definitely don't dab or dry with a paper towel or anything as this can just contaminate the sterilised bottle. Honestly you won't regret it, switching to cold water sterilising was the best decision for us, makes things so much easier!

If you scroll down, a few messages ago, I posted the directions directly from the Milton website if you want to read a bit more about it ☺️

Congratulations again xxx

@OhCaptain original 🙄

@JenIsAGem - Thank you so much for your response and your good wishes. Sorry to derail your thread BTW. I’m currently going though the terrified anxiety stage of thinking we’re totally clueless, we know absolutely nothing! (Even though we are reading up as much as poss and doing online classes, etc!) We were thinking could it be as simple as shaking off the excess solution and off we go? What a relief to hear it is! Thanks again so much and don’t be surprised if I’m back at some stage asking you similarly daft questions!! 🙈

Oh and I meant to put in my first post that IMO YANBU and I hope everything works out with your little ones routine and MIL!

YANBU at all. Your baby, your rules. I am a Granny and I never ever deviate from what my children and DSIL and DDIL want. Set it out really clearly to her and explain that you need to know she will do what you want about this and about everything. Point out you need to feel comfortable with her having him and not worry she is ignoring how you want things done!