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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH is being a dick with the pram?

289 replies

Sheeeeeep · 01/03/2021 18:13

Ffs.

Dd 4 months. Sod all to do at weekends other than go for walks.

We have a baby carrier but DH is obsessed with the pram and insists on putting the poor child in it trudging through thick mud, clambering up mountains and hills and clattering over bumpy gravelly roads.

My nice pram is covered in mud and people look at us like we are batshit.

AIBU?

OP posts:
JustLyra · 02/03/2021 11:55

@Sunhoop

our second point is absolute twaddle. There’s nothing to say the OP is any more or less experienced than her DH.

It's not twaddle to say that someone who spends more time looking after a baby has more experience of the practicalities than someone who doesn't. I'd say the same if he was the main carer. She said she'd be using the pram during the week while he was at work so it's a fair assumption to say she's probably the more experienced of the two.

She let him do it his way. It's not working so IMO she gets to override it. No need to do the whole "just because she's a woman" dance of outrage!

The practicalities of taking a baby for a hike are hardly day-to-day experience. they’ve both been going so they’re both as experienced as the other.

It’s working perfectly fine for him. He’s clearly not comfortable with the sling. She is. She can use the sling and he can use the pram. He needs to clean the pram obviously, and not stop the OP from doing it her way some of the time, but there’s absolutely no need for the OP to be the only one that gets to do things her way.

Original poster
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 11:56

DH might be experienced at hiking but believe me he is not experienced at looking after DD!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 02/03/2021 11:57

@flakymate

To be honest, I don’t think having a baby and going on long, adventurous hikes work.

Either drive to the muddy area you want to walk and carry the baby - only going out for brief time so the person carrying the baby isn’t fatigued. Or walk to the park with the pram, you get a walk but it’s not hilly, muddy or dangerous and therefore an appropriate outing to use the pram

Ds is 11 but due to his disabilities is a part time wheelchair user. We all have an all terrrain chair which is fantastic as we can get out and about to all sorts of places that would be inaccessible to him otherwise. Days out in the lakes are a favourite pastime of his when allowed we have a bag for life in the boot for the muddy wheels!
JustLyra · 02/03/2021 11:59

@Sheeeeeep

DH might be experienced at hiking but believe me he is not experienced at looking after DD!
I was referencing being experienced taking the baby hiking.

Unless either of you had a weird hobby of taking other people’s babies hiking then you have presumably being doing that for the same length of time.

Chin him about the cleaning the pram, but there’s nothing wrong with him doing something a different way to you sometimes.

AtSwimTwoBerts · 02/03/2021 12:00

DH might be experienced at hiking but believe me he is not experienced at looking after DD!

You should probably focus on that rather than pointless arguments about prams.

Original poster
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 12:02

You’re going to pay the mortgage are you, while DH is working, to look after her?

Thought not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 12:03

And tbf I’m not actually arguing with him about it. I just think we look like loons and I’m finding the insistence on taking it on unsuitable routes exasperating and annoying.

OP posts:
notdaddycool · 02/03/2021 12:05

Get a running buggy from 6 months. They are awesome off road. You can probably use it earlier not running.

AtSwimTwoBerts · 02/03/2021 12:06

You’re going to pay the mortgage are you, while DH is working, to look after her?

2 questions:

  1. does he work 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Seems like he probably has a lot of time outside work to be experienced at looking after his own child, but if he isn't, that's your own problem.
  2. Are you always this much of a dick?
Original poster
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 12:06

Sure I’ll send you my PayPal details.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 12:07

Only when it’s warranted bert

Because surely you can see that for a baby born in November there’s a fairly limited amount of pram walking in the evening? Which is when DH is generally free. Parenting is not limited to prams.

OP posts:
JustLyra · 02/03/2021 12:08

What is it with people this week starting threads and just be rude to any poster that doesn’t instantly agree with them?

AtSwimTwoBerts · 02/03/2021 12:11

Because surely you can see that for a baby born in November there’s a fairly limited amount of pram walking in the evening? Which is when DH is generally free. Parenting is not limited to prams

Which was literally my point Hmm

Original poster
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 12:11

Oh I don’t mind people disagreeing. I do think they are wrong but that’s not a be rude offence.

What IS a be rude offence is when people make up their own narrative. When people decide that I posted asking for advice on my relationship (I didn’t) or a new pram (no thanks unless you’re paying) or that there’s a bit of mud on a pram and im going mad about it - then yep, you’re being a dick.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 12:12

Then I’ve no idea what the issue is bert

We agree DH doesn’t go out with the pram much, and I do. Jolly good.

OP posts:
AtSwimTwoBerts · 02/03/2021 12:13

You asked if you are being unreasonable. The answer is a resounding yes. In various different ways.

AtSwimTwoBerts · 02/03/2021 12:14

Then I’ve no idea what the issue is bert

Try reading. There weren't any long words.

Original poster
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 12:16

Oh behave bert! No it is not! Some think yes and some think no. Such is MN. Although I’d be interested to know how many of you routinely lift a pram over a stile!

OP posts:
Sheeeeeep · 02/03/2021 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

minniemoocher · 02/03/2021 12:16

There is a train of thought that babies need to lay flat, has he been reading baby books? Mostly these strict prescriptive philosophies - I personally used a carrier until my back couldn't cope

JustLyra · 02/03/2021 12:17

@Sheeeeeep

Oh I don’t mind people disagreeing. I do think they are wrong but that’s not a be rude offence.

What IS a be rude offence is when people make up their own narrative. When people decide that I posted asking for advice on my relationship (I didn’t) or a new pram (no thanks unless you’re paying) or that there’s a bit of mud on a pram and im going mad about it - then yep, you’re being a dick.

Your OP literally complained about the mud.

People replied to that OP and you’ve been a dick to them.

There’s no need for the rudeness.

ChocolateSantaisthebestkind · 02/03/2021 12:17

Prams are ££££££££££££££££ maybe he's getting his money's worth Grin

Megan2018 · 02/03/2021 12:18

I prefer the pram and ours is permanently filthy as it goes to the stables and we live rurally. I’ve never cleaned it.
It’s an all terrain one and cost a fortune (£1400 full price although we got 20%off) but it’s meant to get dirty.
Depends where you live I guess-around here clean wellies etc are viewed suspiciously!

AtSwimTwoBerts · 02/03/2021 12:18

Christ OP, nobody cares. If you want to carry your baby in a sling instead of using a pram, why not just do it and find something else to whine about instead?

AtSwimTwoBerts · 02/03/2021 12:19

people look at us like we are batshit.

I'm sure. But not because of the pram.