To think DH is being a dick with the pram?

[Sheeeeeep]

Ffs.

Dd 4 months. Sod all to do at weekends other than go for walks.

We have a baby carrier but DH is obsessed with the pram and insists on putting the poor child in it trudging through thick mud, clambering up mountains and hills and clattering over bumpy gravelly roads.

My nice pram is covered in mud and people look at us like we are batshit.

AIBU?

@Sheeeeeep

Well - yeah. I think I’m right. That tends to be the way or the world doesn’t it?

I think a lot or you are taking the thread more seriously than it warrants, tbh. It was a bit of a whinge/rant. That’s all.

And that’s a reason to be a dick to people who’ve disagreed with you?

How about getting one of those hiking backpacks ? Dh may think that it is safer...?

It wouldn't hurt to consider the advice of people who have been parenting for more than 4 months

I think a 2nd hand all terrain buggy is the best solution.
DH can get it as muddy as he likes.
You can buy a boot caddy which you can put it in and then just lift the whole lot out of your car keeping your car mud free.
He can brush the mud off when it is dry if he wants.
You can all safely go for walks.

Yes lyra it is, when you have to endlessly repeat and justify yourself, yes it is.

Are we going to carry on this stupid argument or act like adults and leave it?

mahoney and that advice would be what? But a pram you can’t afford and still isn’t suitable? Make DH clean the pram although it’s not just the mud?

*If you prefer a sling why do you have a pram? Why not swap it for an all terrain buggy for weekends?
Where CAN 🐑 swap her dirty used pram for a sling or an all terrain buggy?

I used a sling but would have felt like your husband about that kind of terrain and slings.

If you prefer a sling why do you have a pram
Whyy not swap it for an all terrain buggy for weekends?
Where CAN 🐑 swap her dirty used pram for a sling or an all terrain buggy for free?

All terrain push chairs have either permanently locked wheels or ones that are lockable, they have a high undercarriage, wrist straps and often have a safety braking system.
Some have wheels that pop off easily for car travel.

There are also framed backpacks that give more stability and safety that might work better for him.

Bold fail twice

@SleepingStandingUp

*If you prefer a sling why do you have a pram Whyy not swap it for an all terrain buggy for weekends?* Where CAN 🐑 swap her dirty used pram for a sling or an all terrain buggy for free?

Gumtree Facebook Mumsnet Local Ebay And (when they open) Preloved sales Nct Sales

They will need to wash the thing but surely you are aware that people buy things second hand?

Presumably, it is only 4 months old so needs a clean and can be sold on. Then buy a second hand all-terrain buggy for 50 quid, leave it in the garden where it can be as grimy as it wants to be and everyone is happy.
Car boots

Clean up the pram (or rather get him to) then sell it. Buy a secondhand all terrain one and if you personally don't like that one buy another secondhand one that you like. That way you can each have a pram you like. I see fancy prams like Bugaboo for sale on local Facebook groups for £50. Some people even give them away free.
Buy a big painters sheet to line the boot of the car to keep it clean.

@MrMahoneysPants

It wouldn't hurt to consider the advice of people who have been parenting for more than 4 months

Can’t do that. Too much risk of having to admit that maybe, just maybe, her DH should be allowed equal say on decisions about their child.

he won't give it a quick rinse after a walk, he's clearly not going to wash it properly so op can sell the one he brought and get a new one that proves he was wrong.

There's a SLIM chance a decent one is going free in her area but given they're all got good resale values, unlikely.

She's said she hasn't got money or space for a 2nd pram.

@Sheeeeeep

Yes lyra it is, when you have to endlessly repeat and justify yourself, yes it is.

Are we going to carry on this stupid argument or act like adults and leave it?

mahoney and that advice would be what? But a pram you can’t afford and still isn’t suitable? Make DH clean the pram although it’s not just the mud?

Infantialise your husband and create a situation where you are the only one who can make decisions for your child and then in 10 years down the line when you're broken and he's off playing golf try and sort it then. Let him make decisions for the time he spends with her, and insists he start doing the planning/ cleaning etc for these trips. Or that will become your job forever.

He's a dick now and you're letting off steam but what if the scenario was this.

Dh has decided we're going camping this weekend, he wants to go to a mountain that is totally inappropriate for a 6 and 4 year old. he wants to take the mountain bikes which he hasn't cleaned since the last trip. I have to prepare all the food, pack and find a campsite etc etc etc.

Because you can let off steam or deal with your problems but when you're in the second scenario it will be a lot harder to change things.

@AudTheDeepAndCrispAndEven

I'm 90% with you OP, BUT I did fall over wearing the sling once and fell forwards. I did twist and managed to take most of the impact myself, and DS was wearing a hat so the glancing blow to his head wasn't serious. So I understand his concern, accidents can happen. Would he feel better wearing the sling?

But if you'd fallen over on the side of a mountain while pushing a pram, the pram could have gone down the mountain with the baby in it, which would have been far worse than what happened to you (which is not that common anyway).

And in terms of visibility, it's still easier with a sling even if they are on the front, as the pram blocks the entire section of path in front of you, so you can't see the terrain and might be more likely to slip in the first place.

@Sheeeeeep

A lot of the time we don’t know where we’re going sleeping ( we are that organised) so we get to some godforsaken moor and I’ll say I think we need the carrier but DH is all ‘nah we can take the pram! Off roading!’

I probably should tell him to stop being a dickhead and it’s dangerous and is wrecking the pram. Problem is he bought it!

You need to stop hiking when you dont know the conditions. That goes for both of you. Especially with a child. It's dangerous and irresponsible. You need to plan routes in advance and have a knowledge of the terrain.

Maybe you need to stop the mystery tours that end up as hill/mountain/bog/moor walks for a while?

And go walking where you know that either the pram or the carrier will be needed.

I’m happy with the pram I’ve got, well I was anyway and if I want advice on pushchairs in future I’ll ask. I like having sling and pram - versatile. And worry not no child is in danger when not being rattled down mountains.

If you join your local parenting groups on FB, or even your local rambling group (maybe on MEETUP.Com) they will have good advice on sensible walks with the baby and where to go.

[quote Ponoka7]@flakymate, if you're physically fit, then walking/hiking and a baby does work. I'm a grandmother and can carry a baby/ under 14 months old in a sling all day.[/quote]
Yes, I carried my daughter for 4.5 years (she's autistic, so was happier close to me for longer than most children would need), and we went everywhere with the sling. I've never used a pram.

Of course it's better if you start off with them small, or for short periods, if you aren't used to the weight, but your core strength will increase as they do.

Yeah I don’t have an issue carrying dd.

Totally agree he's BU op. I don't even underst really why he wants to because it can't be the easiest to push/pull/drag apron through mud etc anyway.

I think he should definitely be cleaning it after the walk if he wants to bring it.

I know you're not looking for advice but ;) what about something like this for when baby is old enough? I've seen men and women carrying them but they do rather appeal to a certain type of father who wants to be seen to be fathering too.

Umm don’t you take baby, walk in front door, and say to him you can come in if you have with you a sparkling clean pram. Otherwise I’m dropping baby off at your work on Monday, as I dont have a clean pram to use and am not cleaning it for you again.

@MrMahoneysPants

My take on pram gate is that it’s not safe to be taking the baby in the pram over the type of terrain you are talking about. I do agree with you OP that it is batshit behaviour.

As a seasoned sling owner I would equally point out that kind of terrain is not great for a sling either. You are likely to slip. An all terrain buggy is needed.

Why is someone more likely to slip when using a sling than a) without one or b) with a pram (in which case the pram could roll down the mountain and/or tip the baby out)?

I am poorly co-ordinated and used a sling for 4.5 years (over all kinds of terrain) and never fell over. And I run a sling library and don't know of any babywearing friends or service users who have fallen over while using their sling.

Whereas I've seen several pram users fall over on the street (and helped them up/caught the pram), usually when there were uneven paving slabs etc they couldn't see because the pram was in the way!

I'm not saying sling users falling over never happens, but I don't think it's the big issue that some people are assuming it could be.

Make him clean the pram right after your walk (with his toothbrush) or just dont put the pram in the car when you go out for a walk (and if he puts it in - take it out again)