To think DH is being a dick with the pram?

[Sheeeeeep]

Ffs.

Dd 4 months. Sod all to do at weekends other than go for walks.

We have a baby carrier but DH is obsessed with the pram and insists on putting the poor child in it trudging through thick mud, clambering up mountains and hills and clattering over bumpy gravelly roads.

My nice pram is covered in mud and people look at us like we are batshit.

AIBU?

Is he worried he'll fall over and flatten the child in a sling?
I don't understand what's even happening to be fair. You go for a drive then suddenly he's pulled up outside a boggy meadow woodlands type area, scopes it out and declares a fine place to drag a 1k pram through some mud?

Do you not say, "hold up mate, where we off to today? The old boggy woods again because if so I'm not coming!!"

To be honest, I don’t think having a baby and going on long, adventurous hikes work.

Either drive to the muddy area you want to walk and carry the baby - only going out for brief time so the person carrying the baby isn’t fatigued. Or walk to the park with the pram, you get a walk but it’s not hilly, muddy or dangerous and therefore an appropriate outing to use the pram

Yes but I’m not asking HIM to use the carrier!

anna ha yes I think it’s become a bit of a standoff!

I'd put my foot down. At first I was thinking it might be a weather thing and him thinking that the baby wouldn't be sheltered enough. Or he's got a fear of falling on the baby, both reasonable.

But under the circumstances, you get to decide. My DD was a urban sling user and I used the sling for hers and other babies I've minded, especially with a toddler. You do get looks, because people don't understand why you aren't using a pram, so it's the other way round. You're the one being inconvenienced and having a bigger work load, so you get to decide.

If you have 2 older kids as well, then I bumped into you at the weekend & yes I was gobsmacked to see someone pulling a pram down a muddy track in the muddiest woodland ever

@Ponoka7

I'd put my foot down. At first I was thinking it might be a weather thing and him thinking that the baby wouldn't be sheltered enough. Or he's got a fear of falling on the baby, both reasonable.

But under the circumstances, you get to decide. My DD was a urban sling user and I used the sling for hers and other babies I've minded, especially with a toddler. You do get looks, because people don't understand why you aren't using a pram, so it's the other way round. You're the one being inconvenienced and having a bigger work load, so you get to decide.

Why does the OP get to decide?

By all means she should tell him to clean the pram if he uses it, and on a split where sometimes pram and sometimes carrier so she can have her way too, but why does she have some kind of automatic overrule?

@Sheeeeeep

Yes but I’m not asking HIM to use the carrier!

anna ha yes I think it’s become a bit of a standoff!

And he isn’t asking you to use the pram.

Like I said it sounds like you both need a proper conversation and a sensible plan for walks which you both feel comfy with

@Sheeeeeep

A lot of the time we don’t know where we’re going sleeping ( we are that organised) so we get to some godforsaken moor and I’ll say I think we need the carrier but DH is all ‘nah we can take the pram! Off roading!’

I probably should tell him to stop being a dickhead and it’s dangerous and is wrecking the pram. Problem is he bought it!

Then tell him he needs to buy a nice sporty one so he looks like the other cool dad's (cos right now he looks like a dick)

It’s not the same thing sirzy no matter how much you try to make it so.

If I use the carrier that’s the beginning and end.

If he uses the pram it gets ruined which impacts mostly on me. It gets filthy and it falls on me to clean it (because he’s at work all week and I’m using the pram then.) It gets my car filthy.

Besides I don’t think he is uncomfortable with me using the sling. It’s more this idea that babies go in prams and cots even if it isn’t working or practical.

skeggy not us although I sympathise with whichever one of them said this is lunacy!

If you have 2 older kids as well, then I bumped into you at the weekend & yes I was gobsmacked to see someone pulling a pram down a muddy track in the muddiest woodland ever*

I'd hazard a guess that this was NOT the OP - only people on their first child generally give a shite about mud on the new buggy

it’s not JUST the mud, honestly!

@Sunhoop

* If you have 2 older kids as well, then I bumped into you at the weekend & yes I was gobsmacked to see someone pulling a pram down a muddy track in the muddiest woodland ever*

I'd hazard a guess that this was NOT the OP - only people on their first child generally give a shite about mud on the new buggy

I've got 3 and mud is fine but of they're pulling the 1k pram through PROPER mud the basket must be caked in it, and the car boot. I'd not be happy

🐑 Can you take a couple of big pop notes full of water and try and give at least the wheels a rinse off?

By all means she should tell him to clean the pram if he uses it, and on a split where sometimes pram and sometimes carrier so she can have her way too, but why does she have some kind of automatic overrule?

Two reasons. One because as she said she'll be the one dealing with the fallout (cleaning the buggy and using it all week and her car gets mucky). Two because (guessing here based on previous statements) she's the main carer and will most likely know best what's suitable due to having more experience.

I don't know if I'd feel happybspmeobe teoopibg over muddy woods with tiny baby in a sling so May be he thinks his genius plan is best.
Why anyone spends 1k on a pram is beyond me and this highlights the utter madness of getting such an item then not being able to use it on anything other than crisp, dry, mud free surfaces. Worried about every splat from above or below.

I got our first child's pram off eBay for under 100 quid, hard wearing, it's been abroad, smashed around so many places. No worry.

He sounds nuts to spend 1k on a pram then take it into mud.
Are you being dramatic with your description of the terrain?

He actually says 'careful mummy' to you? And you haven't buried him under the patio yet? That alone makes him a prat.
You should definitely make him clean both pram and car as soon as you get home - this is most likely to stop him insisting on taking the pram to muddy places. All the time you do it, it's not inconveniencing him at all, is it?

"It gets filthy and it falls on me to clean it (because he’s at work all week and I’m using the pram then.)"

So he cleans it when you get back.

What is the point in posting if you are going to ignore and disregard every suggestion made to you?

@Sunhoop

By all means she should tell him to clean the pram if he uses it, and on a split where sometimes pram and sometimes carrier so she can have her way too, but why does she have some kind of automatic overrule?

Two reasons. One because as she said she'll be the one dealing with the fallout (cleaning the buggy and using it all week and her car gets mucky). Two because (guessing here based on previous statements) she's the main carer and will most likely know best what's suitable due to having more experience.

On your first point - as I said she absolutely should tell him he either cleans the pram or doesn’t use it.

Your second point is absolute twaddle. There’s nothing to say the OP is any more or less experienced than her DH. She doesn’t have an automatic overrule just because she’s the woman.

She can do it her way sometimes and he his others. There’s no need for any drama or ridiculous pulling of rank.

What suggestions? Let him trash your pram? I didn’t even post asking for suggestions, I asked posting for validation

I'd insist that your partner washes the pram (and your car) every time, otherwise just put on the carrier and ignore his male nonsense

It's your baby too, just strap her on and off you go. You don't have to do everything he says.

our second point is absolute twaddle. There’s nothing to say the OP is any more or less experienced than her DH.

It's not twaddle to say that someone who spends more time looking after a baby has more experience of the practicalities than someone who doesn't. I'd say the same if he was the main carer. She said she'd be using the pram during the week while he was at work so it's a fair assumption to say she's probably the more experienced of the two.

She let him do it his way. It's not working so IMO she gets to override it. No need to do the whole "just because she's a woman" dance of outrage!

I thought it was going to be this too. The look like complete knobheads pushing the pram with one hand

Wow, MN'ers really will judge literally anything. Even the tiniest, stupidest, most inconsequential thing possible. Is there a signal for "man has one hand on pram instead of 2" or do you just all know to individually shout wanker at him?

Fucking loons.

@Owwlie

I agree with you OP, a sling or carrier is so much more convenient when you’re on terrain your pram isn’t designed for. Just tell him you’re using the sling next time!

Nice that he is talking the baby out for fresh air
THEY are taking the baby out. Not just him. The problem is OP is there and he won’t let her use the sling to carry DC herself. Which is just ridiculous.

She didn’t say he won’t let her use the sling.

@flakymate, if you're physically fit, then walking/hiking and a baby does work. I'm a grandmother and can carry a baby/ under 14 months old in a sling all day.