To think DH is being a dick with the pram?

[Sheeeeeep]

Ffs.

Dd 4 months. Sod all to do at weekends other than go for walks.

We have a baby carrier but DH is obsessed with the pram and insists on putting the poor child in it trudging through thick mud, clambering up mountains and hills and clattering over bumpy gravelly roads.

My nice pram is covered in mud and people look at us like we are batshit.

AIBU?

why are you wasting your time and energy berating people on here instead of just talking to your dp?

Depends on the sling engineer but no one has to use a sling. What pisses me off is going to places so impractical to use a pram on and then using the pram.

MN would shut pretty quickly if everyone took that advice madame

Sorry but your DH is acting like a class A twat here. Mums know best and if you want to take the sling then take the sling, end of conversation. If he wants the final say, he should have carried your baby for 9 months, given birth to it then taken shit loads of time off of work to look after it. When it comes to your young baby, you’ve well and truly earned the right to have the final say.

This is how the situation would've gone in our house:
DH - starts getting pram out ready for walk
Me - "I'm using the baby carrier"
End of conversation.

The pram has wheels @Sheeeeeep, so it falls into the same category as bikes and cars. A sling doesn't have wheels.

When I think of mountains I am thinking Ben Nevis type mountains, thanks to where I’m from... but since you’re managing up a mountain witha pram I assume that’s not the type, if it is I am in awe of your husband.

However, I hated the sling for all day walks and when we lived in Dorset the pram went with us everywhere, the new forest in the rain, Sandbanks and Swange in the sun. We cleaned it maybe 10 times in 2 years.

@Laiste

I thought you were going to say he always tries to push it along with one hand ...

(men look such dicks doing this. Trying to look carefree/casual? Who knows, but it always makes me )

It's not for long OP. With kids every stage passes quickly. This will too. Have you got one of those 3 wheel jobbies?

I thought it was going to be this too. The look like complete knobheads pushing the pram with one hand.

One-hand-wankers 🤣

Pound shop. 4 shower caps for the dirty wheels..

I like you nomorepies! Solidarity!

If you are on paths like the top photo, fine, use the pram as long as he cleans it.

My assumption is the paths are more like the second photo, in which case a sling is far easier and much much safer.

I'm sorry @DavidsSchitt have we gone back in town to the 1950's? Men need reminding of cleaning up the mess they make and women are "fools" for not telling them

I don’t see how the pram is inconvenient if your husband prefers it and he pushes it anyway?
Obviously if it gets muddy then it’s fair enough to tell him it’s his responsibility to clean it but otherwise it’s sort of a non issue if he likes using it.

If you prefer a sling why do you have a pram? Why not swap it for an all terrain buggy for weekends?

I used a sling but would have felt like your husband about that kind of terrain and slings.

Does he have his own car?
If he does, insist the dirty pram travels in his boot not yours after the walk. All that lovely wet mud will enhance the upholstery.
If he doesn't, leave the clean pram at home and only take the sling.

I'm 90% with you OP, BUT I did fall over wearing the sling once and fell forwards. I did twist and managed to take most of the impact myself, and DS was wearing a hat so the glancing blow to his head wasn't serious. So I understand his concern, accidents can happen. Would he feel better wearing the sling?

"Oh you’re THERE are you, david? Goodness me!

but hey david follows us around"

What on earth are you talking about?

As for the poster that thinks it's old fashioned to tell someone to clean something they got muddy before they have to use it next....sorry what?!! 😂

He makes it and leaves it muddy. And OP says she cleans it up. I'd say that's more 1950s than simply telling him he's to clean it if he insists on bringing it.

OP,

Is he afraid you might slip & fall on rough/uneven ground & baby will be hurt? He might be just nervous about that & is being protective. I wouldn't be bothered about a bumpy pram journey unless your baby is bawling & unhappy.

As for your car, throw a load of old newspapers in the boot, bring a litre/gallon bottle of water with you & get the worst of the muck off by giving the pram a dousing before you put it back in the car. Tell him its his job to clean it. I wouldn't care about other busybodies giving funny looks as long as your baby is content.

What’s remotely unsafe about using the pram?

Tell him to clean the pram when he gets it dirty. Then have some trips where you get your way with the sling and some where he gets his way with the pram.

Hardly needs to be a drama.

@JustLyra

What’s remotely unsafe about using the pram?

Tell him to clean the pram when he gets it dirty. Then have some trips where you get your way with the sling and some where he gets his way with the pram.

Hardly needs to be a drama.

Depending on the terrain, if it is a rocky or uneven path, you risk the pram tipping over, or running away from you if you don’t have a wrist strap.

I was the person who attempted to take my shiny new pram and shiny new baby on a walk with the dog. It wasn’t even a nice mountain or moor, just a bog standard field/bridleways type job. I thought it would be fine because it was a path I’d done often and I thought actually didn’t have stiles and it was just grass fields and unpaved tracks.

I sank in the mud, I hauled the pram over the tuffety fields and pulled the wheels out of the rabbit holes. There weren’t any stiles but I’d forgotten about the rocky steps here and there and I got stuck by the squeezes (narrow gaps) instead of stiles. I tried to get round and ended up on the side of an A road with no path because I couldn’t manage to lift the pram over the squeezes. The only place I could cross the A road without going a mile out of my way was to use a footbridge with steps which were steep and see through and I was really unhappy about bumping my new baby up and down them, I felt awful and gripped that pram SO hard. By the time I got home, I was covered in mud from trying to lift the muddy pram up over the squeezes, my new pram was covered in mud, the dog was covered in mud, the baby was crying and the dog hadnt even had a good walk as we hadn’t managed to get anywhere she could be off lead and had to be taken out again.

I never took the pram on a dog walk again in a decade of having three small kids and two dogs in the house. Because of this I can kind of understand how your DH feels maybe - does he not feel happy with your carrier? I didn’t feel happy with my pram and I genuinely felt unsafe that day, so I really didn’t want to use it. Maybe he feels the same the other way round?

Depending on the terrain, if it is a rocky or uneven path, you risk the pram tipping over, or running away from you if you don’t have a wrist strap.

Why assume he doesn’t use a wrist strap? The assumption that the guy can’t risk assess where he takes his kid in their pram is so random. No-one would assume the OP was taking unnecessary risks

Does anyone really use the wrist strap? I don't think I've ever seen someone!

I had a buggy, for travelling, but for everything else I used a meitai, and then they walked until they were tired and then they went on my shoulders (or DPs.. but TBH, mainly mine). But then I just find buggies a pain.

OP YANBU. He gets to deal with any hassle from taking a pram where it isn't appropriate, and you need to just let him (and buy a second cheap buggy for the boot of your car, semi-secretly if need-be)

But have you told him he needs to be the one that cleans it? You’ve not actually said...because if he’s refused then obviously you’re not BU

I’ve given up cleaning my pram now since there’s nowhere to go during lockdown apart from muddy walks anyway