To hope for the worst re pregnancy :(

[woooooohhhhhh]

So sorry if this is sensitive 😭

Be kind. I'm 40, divorcee.

Ok early pregnancy and I'm exhausted 😭I specifically told me partner last night I was exhausted- I had been for an east scab due to a suspected ectopic pregnancy and I have to go back In 10 days. Still no further forward. I suffered a previous pregnancy as ectopic. This morning I woke early to find him grinding against my back- it's was before 7am and he instigated sex which at first I told him I was still tired and then I caved in.

Later I went out and bought some lovely food and drinks and cooked and then 5 mins before everything was due to be ready I said I wanted to go and watch something that started on tv and could he finish off and bring the food through. He kicked off and stormed out. Now he's disappeared ...again.1

I am too old for this bull shit. So although I adore my kids and don't want a termination...I just don't know how I can move forward here.

I love him. I love my children. But I'm fed up of carrying everything for everyone else.

She thinks men don't respect women and they're ridiculous- but she's my youngest she gives me advice out of love ffs

Why wouldn't she believe this? You're proving it to her by staying with this man.

My dd and I have already discussed this. I told her that In her life she must look after herself, support herself and if a man comes into things, see this as an extra and a bonus.

Set a good example to her and leave him.

She thinks men don't respect women and they're ridiculous- but she's my youngest she gives me advice out of love ffs

I don't mean to be awful but she is surely picking up on how he treats you to form this opinion at 16?

Bloody hell what are you thinking?! Your children are young adults or nearly, and you’re thinking of going right back to square one and tying yourself to an aggressive, childish, rapey little shit.

This absolutely helps.

I can understand myself - last chance baby, wanting what I had etc. Nurturing. Plus he told me he couldn't ever have kids and now admits giving me false information.

JAmes- thank you. I will read this all back. I'm a fool. I've also recently inherited some money and he only works part time. Yes this gets worse

I don't think it helps at the moment being so isolated from people. We really can lose perspective. And feel safe In unsuitable Situations.

You're not a fool at all my love, you just had the misfortune of the man you love being a totally abusive shit.

I volunteer with victims of abuse including those who've escaped DV situations. One consistent thing that is clear is that abusive Men never, ever change for the better because a baby comes along. Picture you with a newborn baby in a year - your OH will still storm out and be gone for hours. It's fine now wen you have the opportunity to relax and enjoy yourself. Throw a baby into the mix and that is such hard work, physically and emotionally.

I know thank you 😰

He deliberately lied to you about being able to have children??

Come on OP - you need to get some inner strength. This man is bad news and has got you pregnant to trap you.

Have a termination, kick him out and get some therapy.

The fact you love someone so awful shows you need some help.

I suspect he lied so he didn't have to wear condoms with you?

Crikey OP pack his bags and tell him to get out even if this pregnancy is viable and you decide to go ahead you and all your children will be better without this louse in your home .

If I was in your situation, I would seriously consider definitely have a termination. You will be bringing up children for nearly 40 years of your life - great if that's what you want, but it isn't really, is it? And you'll be saddled one way or another for the rest of your life with the waste of space who deliberately tricked you into getting pregnant, while still doing the hard job of bring up a child almost solo whilst still working.

He is a leach, he has lied to you, he lives with you and only works part time, what do you see in him?

Phone WA . He is an abuser. In no circumstances have a child with him. He has tricked you into pregnancy, forces you to have sex and is living off you too.

Get rid of him.

Well when I told him I was pregnant and therefore super fertile, the next time he withdrew and came on my tits and told me if was the future now.

Do you want to leave him?

He deliberately lied to you about being able to have children??

I honestly do not know. He lived with his parents for 12 years then before that said children had never happened

Oh he’s a doll!

The pregnancy complicates it all but your ‘dp’. Well he’s a first class twat

You know you need to end it and get him out of your house.

I suspect he love bombed you

Please get help in getting him out of your house

He sounds immature, manipulative and abusive. He doesn’t love you. Having a baby with him would be the worst thing for you. Have a termination, kick him out, look after yourself.

Kick him out OP. Once you've got a bit of time and space to yourself, have a think about what you want to do regarding the pregnancy

I had a termination in early December, I was heart broken at the time but it definitely was for the best. Things were rocky I was finally sorting out my career DD is 7 and much more independent. To be honest I haven't really thought about it much the last month or so that's how I know it was the right decision.

@woooooohhhhhh

Well when I told him I was pregnant and therefore super fertile, the next time he withdrew and came on my tits and told me if was the future now.

Get a termination and bin him you don't want to be saddled to that disrespectful arsehole until you are 58 !!!