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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush

371 replies

CrumpetCity · 28/02/2021 16:11

I've been on here for years but name-changed as I'm so embarrassed Blush

To give a bit of context I'm 36, married with a two year old and a six year old and have a busy, stressful full time job that has been made more difficult by the pandemic. I had bad PND and anxiety after DC2 and have mostly recovered but still have my moments. I am also peri-menopausal, not sure if that's relevant but I suppose it might be.

I feel so ridiculous even writing this but over the past couple of months or so I have developed a very intense crush on a particular celebrity and I'm worried it's gotten out of hand.

It started after I had a very vivid sexual dream about them. Prior to that I'd always liked this person's work and thought they seemed nice but not thought about them in 'that' way. But I found myself thinking about this dream whenever I needed a bit of (ahem) 'me time'. I know this isn't unusual in itself but over time I then started day-dreaming about this person too, imagining scenarios in my head involving us meeting and embarking on some sort of passionate love affair. I've been spending too much time looking at their photos and content online, YouTube clips of them etc which is the sort of thing I'd expect from a teenager not a grown woman who is normally quite sensible! This is incredibly embarrassing to admit, but I've even found myself occasionally choosing my outfits based on what I imagine they might like and listening to music I think they might be into (although this does align very closely with my own tastes anyway) which I know is beyond ridiculous.

The fantasy day-dream scenarios are happening daily and have become increasingly detailed. In them I am always single, child-free, enjoying a creative and fulfilling career that is lucrative but also somehow affords me bags of free time and living in a small but beautifully decorated flat (which I could describe in detail at this point!) with no stair-gates, laundry and plastic toys everywhere. This is a far cry from my real day to day life which, although I know I'm lucky in many ways, I confess to having felt somewhat trapped by recently especially with lockdown and everything. I think this started out as a bit of escapism but I'm worried it's making me more dissatisfied with my real life.

To be clear, I know none of this is real. I would never dream of actually trying to contact this person, nor am I operating under some delusional belief that we have a 'connection' or anything! I also know that if our paths crossed in real life (which is vanishingly unlikely) they would not look twice at me, although I used to turn heads when I was younger. Maybe that's part of it, struggling with the fact that those years are behind me and I'm just a frumpy Mum.

Has anyone else ever felt like this or am I the only one? More importantly, how the hell do I make it stop?? I know the obvious solution seems to be "just stop thinking about him" but I've tried that!

OP posts:
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11
Bodgedboxdye · 31/08/2021 17:48

@Susannahmoody Monty Don has something about him.

ELOU1111 · 31/08/2021 18:02

Is it Greg Wallace? Confused

Rockbird · 31/08/2021 18:04

Absolutely yes although without the sexual element. Totally fixated on this person. I have a husband, kids, a job, family and friends so it doesn't interfere with my life, but it's at the back of my mind all the time and I really enjoy it. Have written shedloads of fabric about the show that this person is in. I've always been really obsessive about things so this is just the latest in a long line!

Rockbird · 31/08/2021 18:05

*fanfic FFS. You'd think my phone would have learnt that word by now Hmm

PhoboPhobia · 31/08/2021 18:23

I have a rotation! There are 3 ‘celebs’ and one real life person who at various times occupy my brain.

I don’t specifically fancy Greg Davies but can totally see why people do, I think it’s a thing about funny men who are a bit self depreciating.

And whoever mentioned Bo Burnham - yes!

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 31/08/2021 18:35

I have a secret bigamous marriage in my head with a rally driver called Thierry Neuville. We go on many trips to Monte Carlo and have sex in showers quite often, but we also do a lot of eating breakfast together and shopping for treats. We occasionally have small rows over silly things like being late.

This definitely escalates at a couple of points in my menstrual cycle and it's got worse as I've got further into the perimenopause. It used to happen with different people when I was much younger, but the scenarios were much more passionate and usually weirder.

Even a friend who's a journalist telling me that lovely Thierry is actually quite ill-mannered and bigheaded when you have to deal with him professionally hasn't put me off. I met him briefly once and he was All Right With Me.

LindyLou2020 · 31/08/2021 18:36

@Rivermonsters

Don’t worry OP. I’ve got a huge crush on Tony Blair
NOOOooooooooooo!!! 😨😨😨
SpudleyLass · 31/08/2021 18:39

Honestly OP; I get the impression that if you said who it is, I'd almost certainly be able to relate.

''Funny men who talk music'' - its not Bill Bailey is it? Because he definitely has something about him.

Fwiw, I'm 28 and in my time, I've liked :

Greg Davies (still do)
Jonny Lee Miller
Henry Cavill (still do)
Ryan Stiles
John Nettles
Adam Driver (still do)
Adrian Edmondson
David Thewlis

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 31/08/2021 18:44

Jonny Lee Miller in his young, Angelina-loving grungy guise was a mighty fine specimen of a man.

Moelwynbach · 31/08/2021 18:49

Crumpet loves Donald Trump. Just a guess!

FredtheCatsMum · 31/08/2021 18:55

Had a serious thing about David Tennant for a few years, aged late 30s / early 40s. Saw his Hamlet about 4 times, used to fantasise about the Tardis....

Its perfectly normal. I hope :-)

TheWayOfTheWorld · 31/08/2021 20:44

@FredtheCatsMum

Had a serious thing about David Tennant for a few years, aged late 30s / early 40s. Saw his Hamlet about 4 times, used to fantasise about the Tardis....

Its perfectly normal. I hope :-)

Yes me too! I had stories in my head about becoming friends with his sister and meeting him that way 🤣
yellowDahlia · 31/08/2021 21:32

[quote TheWayOfTheWorld]@yellowDahlia I'm so happy to have found someone to talk to about this Wink[/quote]
Me too! And I checked out those links... holy moly. I think My rather underused tiktok account is about to get a bit more lively... Grin

Love how this thread is drawing out more MNers with celeb obsessions/weird crushes/fantasy partners! Wonder if the OP is still into hers?

TheWayOfTheWorld · 31/08/2021 21:35

@yellowDahlia so what do you reckon "that thing" is??? Blush

OnlyheretovoteonAIBU · 31/08/2021 21:43

@LBirch02

Before I got together with my boyfriend I had such a strong celeb crush I had insomnia for over 3 weeks. !! This is in the past 2 yrs. I was so hyper with it I couldn’t switch off
This is what I go through with mine, and it’s quite scary in a way. I’m just constantly keyed up, lightheaded, can barely eat anything or sleep properly. Doesn’t sound very healthy but I believe it’s a rush of dopamine that the crush brings out and it’s like a very potent high. And it’s not illegal and all I need to do to get a ‘fix’ is to look at pictures of my crush.
yellowDahlia · 31/08/2021 23:04

[quote TheWayOfTheWorld]@yellowDahlia so what do you reckon "that thing" is??? Blush[/quote]
I don't know but I wouldn't mind finding out Grin

Jackthementalkitten · 01/09/2021 02:05

I have fantasies about Sean bean. That Sheffield accent Blush probably explains why my ex is from Sheffield. Even the Yorkshire tea ad he’s in mmmm Reminds self am a mother age 37 lol

DalPalak · 01/09/2021 05:46

I've been in love with Rupert Graves for years. (It's mainly down to "Where Angels Fear to Tread" and "the Tenant of Wildfell Hall", even though he was a baddie in that one.) He's just so cute. My heart still beats a little faster when he pops up in something unexpectedly. Smile

Toffeesprinkles · 04/09/2021 19:26

I've found my people!! I posted on another board the other day to say I was living a fantasy life in my head, had been for months and felt really upset that I googled my crush and found out he was married and has kids - as if in any way shape or form we were going to get together if he hadn't!! Honestly felt like I was going mad but I feel much better since reading this thread and think its down to being a 40yo hormonal mum of 2 young children, feeling a bit miserable about myself and life and fantasising about a more exciting one where I'm younger, successful, beautiful and great in bed!! My crush is Ben Owen from that programme Hunted - no idea why, I haven't watched it in years so it's just really bizarre!!

CaveMum · 04/09/2021 19:31

My last major crush was Benedict Cumberbatch, it waned when I had my first child (she’s 7 now) and I didn’t have time to think about anything but nappies and naps!

It got so intense that I bought DH a bottle of aftershave for Christmas purely on BC’s say so that it was one of his favs Blush. Never told DH that though Wink

BoredZelda · 04/09/2021 20:32

I binge watched Greys Anatomy in the first lockdown. I had many a vivid McDreamy dream.

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