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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush

371 replies

CrumpetCity · 28/02/2021 16:11

I've been on here for years but name-changed as I'm so embarrassed Blush

To give a bit of context I'm 36, married with a two year old and a six year old and have a busy, stressful full time job that has been made more difficult by the pandemic. I had bad PND and anxiety after DC2 and have mostly recovered but still have my moments. I am also peri-menopausal, not sure if that's relevant but I suppose it might be.

I feel so ridiculous even writing this but over the past couple of months or so I have developed a very intense crush on a particular celebrity and I'm worried it's gotten out of hand.

It started after I had a very vivid sexual dream about them. Prior to that I'd always liked this person's work and thought they seemed nice but not thought about them in 'that' way. But I found myself thinking about this dream whenever I needed a bit of (ahem) 'me time'. I know this isn't unusual in itself but over time I then started day-dreaming about this person too, imagining scenarios in my head involving us meeting and embarking on some sort of passionate love affair. I've been spending too much time looking at their photos and content online, YouTube clips of them etc which is the sort of thing I'd expect from a teenager not a grown woman who is normally quite sensible! This is incredibly embarrassing to admit, but I've even found myself occasionally choosing my outfits based on what I imagine they might like and listening to music I think they might be into (although this does align very closely with my own tastes anyway) which I know is beyond ridiculous.

The fantasy day-dream scenarios are happening daily and have become increasingly detailed. In them I am always single, child-free, enjoying a creative and fulfilling career that is lucrative but also somehow affords me bags of free time and living in a small but beautifully decorated flat (which I could describe in detail at this point!) with no stair-gates, laundry and plastic toys everywhere. This is a far cry from my real day to day life which, although I know I'm lucky in many ways, I confess to having felt somewhat trapped by recently especially with lockdown and everything. I think this started out as a bit of escapism but I'm worried it's making me more dissatisfied with my real life.

To be clear, I know none of this is real. I would never dream of actually trying to contact this person, nor am I operating under some delusional belief that we have a 'connection' or anything! I also know that if our paths crossed in real life (which is vanishingly unlikely) they would not look twice at me, although I used to turn heads when I was younger. Maybe that's part of it, struggling with the fact that those years are behind me and I'm just a frumpy Mum.

Has anyone else ever felt like this or am I the only one? More importantly, how the hell do I make it stop?? I know the obvious solution seems to be "just stop thinking about him" but I've tried that!

OP posts:
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CatAndHisKit · 03/03/2021 00:57

I had no idea so many people fancied Greg Davies. In fact, I had no idea ANYONE fancied Greg Davies

yep a mystery to me - just why? Grin
I suppose he's got a lot of energy...but that open-mouthed smile, ugh!

CatAndHisKit · 03/03/2021 01:01

Having said that, I'd only be truly disbelieving if anyone fancied Michael Gove - no one yet on here!

Rainboom · 03/03/2021 01:16

Is it a comedian singer actor TV host... honestly it wont be outing

Rainboom · 03/03/2021 01:18

I think it's just a mix of hormones and need for stress relief

AgentCooper · 03/03/2021 08:46

@Rainboom

I think it's just a mix of hormones and need for stress relief
This is so true. When I came off the pill to ttc I developed the MOST intense crushes on colleagues at work. I couldn’t even bloody look at them.

When I had a two year old and was just feeling so tired, stressed and exhausted I got the most enormous crush on Claes Bang that would resurface with a vengeance every time I ovulated. I had a whole alternative life where he was my head of department and I was his PA and we were both recently single and bonded over Leonard Cohen one night when I was working late Grin

And then about 7 months into the pandemic it’s Sensei Johnny Lawrence shouting at me in his dojo and giving me intense karate lessons that obviously go too far.

DropDTuning · 03/03/2021 12:50

Massive massive YABU for not saying who it is.

Holothane · 03/03/2021 17:56

Well I’ll give you one of mine I was going to keep people guessing on another thread but Darth Vader’s voice has me blushes,

DropDTuning · 03/03/2021 19:11

@Holothane original trilogy or prequels/sequels?

Holothane · 03/03/2021 19:13

Originals (runs off)

ghostyslovesheets · 03/03/2021 19:43

a little treat for the Peter C fans Wink

sdw19 · 03/03/2021 19:44

Don't want to look through all the comments to see if anyone's mentioned this, look up limerence :)

sdw19 · 03/03/2021 19:48

I've been extensively discussing limerence with my sister in law as she's had the experience recently (with a person she actually knows) and I have experience of it myself. A lot of our discussions have concluded that due to lockdown and being so starved of stimulation and social interaction, she's been in desperate need of some escapism and a self-esteem boost. Perhaps thats a possible explanation for your situation

Suzi888 · 03/03/2021 19:55

@CrumpetCity

It's Matt Hancock isn't it!

Haha! If it was Matt Hancock I wouldn't be asking MN I'd be seeking some serious professional help! Grin

😆
Holothane · 03/03/2021 19:58

Gorgeous just gorgeous thankyou @ghostlylovessheets now look at these beauties.

AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush
AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush
AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush
KnitFastDieWarm · 03/03/2021 19:58

@ghostyslovesheets

a little treat for the Peter C fans Wink
Oh my Grin

I really need to watch The Thick of It again...

OverweightPidgeon · 03/03/2021 20:03

At least you don’t imagine you are an Olympic show jumper who imagines the crowd cheering you on as you approach the last fence and have to stop yourself from physically ‘jumping’ over it when out walking, like my friend does Grin

ghostyslovesheets · 03/03/2021 20:03

@Holothane

Gorgeous just gorgeous thankyou *@ghostlylovessheets* now look at these beauties.
oh my
ghostyslovesheets · 03/03/2021 20:04

@OverweightPidgeon

At least you don’t imagine you are an Olympic show jumper who imagines the crowd cheering you on as you approach the last fence and have to stop yourself from physically ‘jumping’ over it when out walking, like my friend does Grin
Grin Grin Grin - that was me as a child - except I did jump the fence I may also have gone for walks in full riding gear - despite not owning a horse
DropDTuning · 03/03/2021 20:09

@Holothane don't run off, that was the right answer Grin

GreenSlide · 03/03/2021 20:12

Is it Gregg Wallace OP?

Holothane · 03/03/2021 20:16

I’m still here laughs I’ve hundreds of pictures now enjoy these.

AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush
AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush
AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush
LadyfromtheBelleEpoque · 03/03/2021 20:23

I think there was a very good reason why Emily in Paris was so popular

AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush
EmbarassmentShame · 03/03/2021 20:23

@LivingForPinkGin

I feel this way about David Mitchell. Cant stop watching would I lie to you! Haha. Only when he has a beard though.
I was obsessed with him for many years and it was so bad I saw a therapist. Over it now and feel a bit sick whenever I see him...

Also can’t stand his wife so that helped me get over it!

LadyfromtheBelleEpoque · 03/03/2021 20:25

Rocker man

AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush
LadyfromtheBelleEpoque · 03/03/2021 20:26

This man? MN really is an alternate universe

AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush