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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this isn't normal? Really intense celeb crush

371 replies

CrumpetCity · 28/02/2021 16:11

I've been on here for years but name-changed as I'm so embarrassed Blush

To give a bit of context I'm 36, married with a two year old and a six year old and have a busy, stressful full time job that has been made more difficult by the pandemic. I had bad PND and anxiety after DC2 and have mostly recovered but still have my moments. I am also peri-menopausal, not sure if that's relevant but I suppose it might be.

I feel so ridiculous even writing this but over the past couple of months or so I have developed a very intense crush on a particular celebrity and I'm worried it's gotten out of hand.

It started after I had a very vivid sexual dream about them. Prior to that I'd always liked this person's work and thought they seemed nice but not thought about them in 'that' way. But I found myself thinking about this dream whenever I needed a bit of (ahem) 'me time'. I know this isn't unusual in itself but over time I then started day-dreaming about this person too, imagining scenarios in my head involving us meeting and embarking on some sort of passionate love affair. I've been spending too much time looking at their photos and content online, YouTube clips of them etc which is the sort of thing I'd expect from a teenager not a grown woman who is normally quite sensible! This is incredibly embarrassing to admit, but I've even found myself occasionally choosing my outfits based on what I imagine they might like and listening to music I think they might be into (although this does align very closely with my own tastes anyway) which I know is beyond ridiculous.

The fantasy day-dream scenarios are happening daily and have become increasingly detailed. In them I am always single, child-free, enjoying a creative and fulfilling career that is lucrative but also somehow affords me bags of free time and living in a small but beautifully decorated flat (which I could describe in detail at this point!) with no stair-gates, laundry and plastic toys everywhere. This is a far cry from my real day to day life which, although I know I'm lucky in many ways, I confess to having felt somewhat trapped by recently especially with lockdown and everything. I think this started out as a bit of escapism but I'm worried it's making me more dissatisfied with my real life.

To be clear, I know none of this is real. I would never dream of actually trying to contact this person, nor am I operating under some delusional belief that we have a 'connection' or anything! I also know that if our paths crossed in real life (which is vanishingly unlikely) they would not look twice at me, although I used to turn heads when I was younger. Maybe that's part of it, struggling with the fact that those years are behind me and I'm just a frumpy Mum.

Has anyone else ever felt like this or am I the only one? More importantly, how the hell do I make it stop?? I know the obvious solution seems to be "just stop thinking about him" but I've tried that!

OP posts:
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StellaWol · 03/03/2021 20:30

Nah, it’s totally normal! As long as you’re not googling ways of how to meet them, kidnap their dog etc! It’s harmless escapism at a totally shit time, what else are you doing? WHO IS IT THOUGH?

greengrey · 03/03/2021 20:32

I've got a mega crush on a 25 year old K-Pop star. I'd quite happily spend the day watching clips of him. Far better than reality right now.
I think it's normal.

greengrey · 03/03/2021 20:34

@Balaur I'm the same age as you and also write fanfic. Grin

Balaur · 03/03/2021 20:47

@greengrey solidarity to a fellow aged fic writer Grin

Holothane · 03/03/2021 20:55

I’m 54 used to write loads still got loads of my stories.

Theromanempire · 03/03/2021 21:18

@AgentCooper god what I wouldn't give to have Karate lessons that go too far from Sensei Lawrence - hot doesn't cover it Blush Grin talk about ageing well Wink

TheMatryoshka · 03/03/2021 21:57

Oh there's loads of us maladaptive daydreamers, I love these threads because nobody I know talks about this irl and I do it all the time.

OP, please tell us who it is, can't be worse than some of the ones on this thread

AgentCooper · 03/03/2021 22:47

[quote Theromanempire]@AgentCooper god what I wouldn't give to have Karate lessons that go too far from Sensei Lawrence - hot doesn't cover it Blush Grin talk about ageing well Wink[/quote]
@Theromanempire the man is a massive ride. My dignity would not exist in that dojo.

Icantreachthepretzels · 03/03/2021 23:09

the man is a massive ride. My dignity would not exist in that dojo.

I think this is the first time I've heard someone who isn't Michelle from Derry Girls describe someone as a 'massive ride' Grin

Holothane · 03/03/2021 23:10

Peter Capaldi has aged well he’s gorgeous now even more when he was announced as the dr well you could have floored me, .

AgentCooper · 03/03/2021 23:15

@Icantreachthepretzels

the man is a massive ride. My dignity would not exist in that dojo.

I think this is the first time I've heard someone who isn't Michelle from Derry Girls describe someone as a 'massive ride' Grin

@Icantreachthepretzels Grin really?! Massive ride is fairly common parlance in Glasgow. Not that there are that many massive rides roaming free round these parts, sadly...
Icantreachthepretzels · 03/03/2021 23:33

@AgentCooper I'm sorry to say it is very sadly lacking from the vernacular of Leeds. Maybe I should start using it and try and make it 'happen'.

Theromanempire · 04/03/2021 07:40

Glad I'm not the only one who hadn't heard of the phrase 'massive ride' before! I figured out what it meant and totally agree that Sensei Lawrence would absolutely be a massive ride Grin

AgentCooper · 04/03/2021 08:14

You know, the young ones probably don’t say massive ride these days but I’m maybe a couple of years younger than Michelle from Derry Girls is meant to be so I would say common parlance in my age group. And perhaps a Catholic thing (Glaswegian Catholic with Irish background here) but that would seem unlikely Grin

peachgreen · 04/03/2021 08:18

Massive ride still common parlance here in NI!

Fluffymarshmallows · 04/03/2021 11:56

Mine is the vicar from call the midwife - Tom.
Real name Jack Ashton Blush

Fluffymarshmallows · 04/03/2021 11:57

I also have a ‘weird crush’ on Louis Theroux.

ShinyMe · 04/03/2021 12:15

Yeah Greg Davies is a yes from me.

This week I've developed a sudden and intense crush on Mae Martin. She's very much not my normal type, being half my age and female, but hey ho, my brain wants to dream about her so I'm enjoying that.

ShinyMe · 04/03/2021 18:30

Did I kill the thread?

Holothane · 04/03/2021 18:50

No I’ve just pre ordered Eric Roberts as the master and I can’t to listen too it, his voice sounds gorgeous on it,. Fanfic also in progress.no noe will see it except me. Much slower these days at writing but who cares I get the fun of it.

Holothane · 04/03/2021 18:50

Meant to say can’t wait.

DCrules · 04/03/2021 18:50

I could have written this exact thing about 5 or 6 years ago. I fully understand everything you have said in this however I have a slightly different ending to my story. I actually got to have a tryst with my celebrity crush and subsequently discovered the amazing person I thought they were was all in my head and they turned out to be a massive douche with some serious issues. That's actors for you!

Loubylou79 · 04/03/2021 18:52

I too have a Louis Theroux crush

CrumpetCity · 04/03/2021 18:58

This week I've developed a sudden and intense crush on Mae Martin. She's very much not my normal type, being half my age and female, but hey ho, my brain wants to dream about her so I'm enjoying that.

I had a bit of a crush on her after watching Feel Good. It was very short-lived, and not as intense as the crush I started this thread about but it took me by surprise as I'm never attracted to women IRL.

OP posts:
ShinyMe · 04/03/2021 19:15

@CrumpetCity

This week I've developed a sudden and intense crush on Mae Martin. She's very much not my normal type, being half my age and female, but hey ho, my brain wants to dream about her so I'm enjoying that.

I had a bit of a crush on her after watching Feel Good. It was very short-lived, and not as intense as the crush I started this thread about but it took me by surprise as I'm never attracted to women IRL.

I LOVED Feel Good, watched the lot yesterday. And now I'm watching Mae Martin standup on YouTube so I'm still in the throes of it.