To think personal responsibility no longer exists

[Wondermule]

I know this is going to be a controversial post, so I’ve got my hard hat on 🪖

It has really dawned on me how little personal responsibility people take now. Every other thread seems to be someone posting to offload their problems (financially dependant relationship, COVID worries due to high BMI, hellish mother in law among the most common) yet there is always an excuse about why they can’t the advice given, usually drip feeding something about anxiety or mental health. Please don’t see this as me making light of mental health issues (sufferer here myself), but it doesn’t change the fact only you can make changes to your life.

Also many posts citing ‘lack of support’ - this one inspired by the chocolate button debacle! - a mum feeding her 3 month old chocolate buttons just didn’t have the ‘support’ or ‘education’ to make healthy choices apparently. Never mind the healthy start vouchers for fruit and veg, maternity grant, free weaning courses at children’s centres, all the help available online... it’s all the state’s fault. I feel ‘lack of support’ will be cited until the government send someone to prepare all her meals and police her shopping trolley.

I feel in being too sympathetic, it is just providing excuses for people not to take responsibility for their own choices. Or am I wrong??

The fact is that anyone born in the northern hemisphere is privileged. It’s all relative in that sense.
Everything is a privilege because there’s always someone worse off, always. Does this mean personal responsibility should cease to exist because everyone will point out their lack of privilege in one area.

Why is it more appropriate, if it means the same thing? You said rich = privileged

It depends on the context it is used in. Sometimes i think it can be used to imply overall privilege other than just financial - see the dictionary definition I posted. And sometimes it can just mean rich.

I do think some people are being very sensitive about the use of the word, especially when preaching about resilience upthread.

If a man tried to lecture you on how to be a woman, you would probably point out that he is male. It’s not shutting him down - just pointing out that he may not understand your viewpoint.

Similarly, if a rich person explains how poor people should take more personal responsibility to improve their lot in life, it’s appropriate to point out their privilege, especially if they have been rich their entire life.

@Someonetookmyname

Why is it more appropriate, if it means the same thing? You said rich = privileged

It depends on the context it is used in. Sometimes i think it can be used to imply overall privilege other than just financial - see the dictionary definition I posted. And sometimes it can just mean rich.

I do think some people are being very sensitive about the use of the word, especially when preaching about resilience upthread.

If a man tried to lecture you on how to be a woman, you would probably point out that he is male. It’s not shutting him down - just pointing out that he may not understand your viewpoint.

Similarly, if a rich person explains how poor people should take more personal responsibility to improve their lot in life, it’s appropriate to point out their privilege, especially if they have been rich their entire life.

But what if they had been poor to start with? Surely that puts them in the best position to give advice? Why would you take advice off another poor person?

You can’t compare it with men/women, because a man cannot start out as a woman and transform into a man.

@Wondermule

I wasn’t specifically talking about advice for poor people - that’s a different subject. We were discussing brining up privilege when discussing wealth inequality.

Well meaning advice from someone who became rich could be beneficial to someone without money - of course. But advice from someone who was born into wealth and has never been poor, in my opinion, would be a bit much for me to swallow if I had no money. But that’s just me.

And everyone’s abilities are different don’t forget. So often you’ll hear someone say “I was so poor, but I worked hard at school, then at work, and now I’m rich. Anyone else could do the same”. But that just isn’t true. That person may have been naturally very bright. Another poor person may also have worked hard at school, then at work and got absolutely nowhere because they are just not that academic, or they worked hard at the wrong thing. Or maybe they did well at work and then got ill and never really recovered. There are SO many reasons why some people are poor.

Couldn't copy it all in one image.

forums.floridasportsman.com/discussion/192684/nobody-ever-handed-me-anything-on-a-plate

[quote Someonetookmyname]@Wondermule

I wasn’t specifically talking about advice for poor people - that’s a different subject. We were discussing brining up privilege when discussing wealth inequality.

Well meaning advice from someone who became rich could be beneficial to someone without money - of course. But advice from someone who was born into wealth and has never been poor, in my opinion, would be a bit much for me to swallow if I had no money. But that’s just me.

And everyone’s abilities are different don’t forget. So often you’ll hear someone say “I was so poor, but I worked hard at school, then at work, and now I’m rich. Anyone else could do the same”. But that just isn’t true. That person may have been naturally very bright. Another poor person may also have worked hard at school, then at work and got absolutely nowhere because they are just not that academic, or they worked hard at the wrong thing. Or maybe they did well at work and then got ill and never really recovered. There are SO many reasons why some people are poor.[/quote]
This. Not everyone has the same academic ability or opportunities.

It's also ridiculous to think absolutely everyone can be in 50k/60k/80k/100k+ jobs. They shouldn't either, as it's been made painfully obvious by the pandemic that the low paid jobs are essential to the running of a country. We need people to work those jobs and not just as a stop gap.

The real issue is that those essential jobs are too low paid , not that the people working them are not ambitious enough, didn't work hard enough etc.

@pucelleauxblanchesmains

from the rest of what they say I have no idea if they would actually feel sorry for my genuine mental illness or write me off as a snowflake faker

Don't let others make you doubt yourself if you know your problems are real.

Try and find the root cause of the issue (mental health can be affected by reasons as varied as lack/excess of nutrients, hormonal imbalances, physical ailments e.g. hypothyroid, Cushings, brain physiology, past trauma, etc) and a professional who can help (if someone fobs you off, look for another one). Doing your own research can help too.

Some people are sceptical because mental health is often used by the unscrupulous as an easy way to justify just about anything. But you shouldn't let this get to you, it's none of their business

Another thread that makes me want to scream - woman who has had affair with married man now upset/surprised that he hasn’t left his wife 🙄 he keeps saying ‘soon’ apparently... she seems to want posters to take a guess at when this mythical date might be...

I agree especially with gen z