Have I gone too far with my son?

[BBCONEANDTWO]

I work FT and at weekends do the cleaning, ironing, dusting etc. I have a son and daughter and my son still lives at home (he's 21). Last weekend he came down from his room and had a go at me for cleaning and that he can hear every step I take and it's annoying etc etc. I explained I only have the weekends to clean and I was sorry but needed to get on top of things.

Today - he came down from his room again complaining about me walking about (OK I do tend to clean one room, have a rest, do ironing, have a rest and a cuppa etc). It was how he said it to me that I don't need to clean all the time the house is immaculate (I do tend to try and keep on top of things during the week). I lost it. I told him not to tell me that I shouldn't be doing my housework, cooking etc and that I paid the mortgage and had every right to do what I wanted at the weekend.

Fast forward to tea time - DH said that it was a nasty thing to say about paying the mortgage and I had been in a bad mood all day and it wasn't fair what I said to DS.

I told DH that I will not feel uncomfortable in my own house etc etc but he doesn't agree with me.

So - I am asking you mums netters if you think I was out of order or not.

Yes you are being unreasonable
No you are not being unreasonable

[me4real]

Hi sorry I just read your other posts. Keep an eye on things and if it gets crap again then move out permanently. x

[Tistheseason17]

If he doesn't like you doing the cleaning at the weekend he can do it doing the week when he is sat on his backside during furlough - then you'd have no reason to clean at the weekend!

YANBU and your DH is being a twat, too. Facts can hurt sometimes, fact!

[Hexinthecity]

Glad you're feeling better about things now and that your son and husband are treating you with more consideration. keep it up, don't leet it slide back to you walking on eggshells. Just remember you've given them a wake up call and they've accepted that they've behaved badly towards you and are making the effort now to make you feel less taken for granted, that means they will buck up their ideas again if you pull them up on it so don't back down!!

Also as an aside it might be worth pointing out to your son that he needs to really think about how he treats any potential woman in his life because if he thinks the status quo as set up previously is going to sit well with any future partner he's setting himself up for relationship failures.

[felulageller]

I certainly wouldn't be cleaning for two men who treated me with such contempt.

Leave and let them live in a hovel.

[FireflyRainbow]

Yanbu! I've had to have a go at my teens for moaning about the noise of the hoover when I clean THEIR rooms.

[stackemhigh]

Well done OP, and thanks for coming back to update us.

And yes, as pp said, keep those boundaries in place.

And keep thinking of what you want out of life. You said you feel sorry for DH, that is no reason to stay with him.