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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that lesbians deserve a dating app that caters exclusively to lesbians?

475 replies

Glinner · 27/02/2021 16:32

Recently I opened an account with the app Her to bring attention to the many straight men invading lesbian dating apps by claiming a 'lesbian', 'queer' or 'trans' identity.

Given that lesbians are adult human females exclusively attracted to other adult human females, am I being unreasonable to believe that lesbians deserve spaces of their own, both online and in the real world?

OP posts:
Expectant88 · 27/02/2021 17:35

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gardenbird48 · 27/02/2021 17:37

@DeusEx

But you’re a man who defines himself as a man. So you already invaded what is supposed to be an all female space. And you did it in a way that was really aggressive and to be honest makes Gender Critical people look like insane extremists.

So YABU for how you’ve done it.

what is the difference between Glinner and any of the other people who weren't born female on that app?

How do we know if their intentions are 'genuine' (whatever that would mean) or not? Why would someone not born female go onto a lesbian dating app? Do they understand what a lesbian is?

HermitsLife · 27/02/2021 17:37

So Her is a dating app for anyone?

FelicityBeedle · 27/02/2021 17:40

I’m bisexual not a lesbian? Can I not join? Trans women are women, not men in dresses coming to look at you piss. If you’re not attracted to someone, don’t date them

Cemin00 · 27/02/2021 17:40

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IAmFleshIAmBone · 27/02/2021 17:40

From what I can see, Her is for women, and all other people. Since words like 'folx' don't have any actual meaning.

AndreaMarteau · 27/02/2021 17:41

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Liquorishtoffee · 27/02/2021 17:42

I think some of the people on there are just having a laugh or trying to upset people. They are the bullies because they know that they can’t be told to go away or asked if they are legit.

PlanDeRaccordement · 27/02/2021 17:44

What about we bisexual women? That’s only issue I have. Not all biologically appearing women attracted to other women are lesbians.

HermitsLife · 27/02/2021 17:46

Well is appears the the dating app in question is open to anyone Plan so you get your choice.

FiveToFour · 27/02/2021 17:49

So Her is just another dating app then?

Bluntasduck · 27/02/2021 17:50

Jesus, are we still referring to women who disagree with us as handmaidens? I thought that went out with the Blow Job Wars

Also it really weirds me out how trans critical radical feminists fawn over men who agree with them

BarbaraofKent · 27/02/2021 17:51

What is with the word 'folx'?!!! Why the x? Why always 'folk'?

Liquorishtoffee · 27/02/2021 17:52

Something to do with foxes maybe...?

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 27/02/2021 17:54

@Bluntasduck

Jesus, are we still referring to women who disagree with us as handmaidens? I thought that went out with the Blow Job Wars

Also it really weirds me out how trans critical radical feminists fawn over men who agree with them

Where is the fawning?
MixedUpFiles · 27/02/2021 17:56

They absolutely do deserve their own app. However, no company is obligated to be provide that service.

The bigger focus should be on making sure that a company is allowed to enter the market to provide the service. It would face civil lawsuits and maybe even legislative action in today’s climate.

BarbaraofKent · 27/02/2021 17:58

I always think 'folx' is kind of patronising, like it makes trans people sound like they are all simple little village dwellers or something?

And why is that word always used? Where has it come from?

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 27/02/2021 17:59

@BarbaraofKent

I always think 'folx' is kind of patronising, like it makes trans people sound like they are all simple little village dwellers or something?

And why is that word always used? Where has it come from?

Think its an Americanism

I have a very tasteful stemless wine glass that says ‘ for 🦊 sake’

Dead classy me

Liquorishtoffee · 27/02/2021 18:00

I had a mug like that too. It broke😢

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 27/02/2021 18:01

My mug says ‘ for 🦆 sake’

Theres a theme 😀

Cemin00 · 27/02/2021 18:02

@Bluntasduck

Jesus, are we still referring to women who disagree with us as handmaidens? I thought that went out with the Blow Job Wars

Also it really weirds me out how trans critical radical feminists fawn over men who agree with them

No! We're in a much better place now where we call people 'folx' in an attempt to insulate them from the fact they've got gonads.
justletmeadoreyou · 27/02/2021 18:03

Of course lesbians deserve their own space. Her just is not that space. As much as I disagree with males calling themselves lesbians, Her chose to make a trans-inclusive app and that is their choice.

ClarkeGriffin · 27/02/2021 18:06

I'm not a lesvian so have no experience with such apps, however I had just assumed (wrongly clearly) that there was such an app for lesbians to meet other lesbians. There's one for gay men isn't there? Can't remember the name of it though.

ClarkeGriffin · 27/02/2021 18:06

Lesbian not lesvian. What the hell Hmm

ginghamstarfish · 27/02/2021 18:08

You are clearly not being unreasonable, but as actual lesbians are women, then nowadays their rights don't seem to exist - it's all about men (as is everything else). FFS.