AIBU to think that lesbians deserve a dating app that caters exclusively to lesbians?

[Glinner]

Recently I opened an account with the app Her to bring attention to the many straight men invading lesbian dating apps by claiming a 'lesbian', 'queer' or 'trans' identity.

Given that lesbians are adult human females exclusively attracted to other adult human females, am I being unreasonable to believe that lesbians deserve spaces of their own, both online and in the real world?

@Expectant88

with your huge galaxy brain you’re saying both that lesbians were driven underground (meaning no longer able to be meeting in groups openly) and also that no one will notice eh this because they were always meeting secretly anyway. It doesn’t make sense.

No, I haven’t said those two conflicting things. Please quote where I have.

It would be nice if you could just trust people to behave themselves. Anyone male signing up for this dating app has outed themselves as untrustworthy imo.

@Mysterian

Some trans women have joined a site that says that trans women are allowed to join.

Hmm. How un-unusual.

Yep Clearly are allowed then.

Seriously deleting my whole post, couldn’t just remove quoted part.

Meanwhile let’s here what shit stirring bloke says that only uses mumsnet for self purpose.

I’m done

Seriously deleting my whole post, couldn’t just remove quoted part

Yes, that was a good post, shame it had to be deleted because of a few sentences that broke talk guidelines.
Would have thought could just take that bit you quoted out.

If you take it up with @MNHQ, Mockolate and Squeakyhinge, you will get a response. You can email, or report one of your own posts and leave a message.

No-one else on MN is responsible for removing posts, only MNHQ is.

From the HER website...

Join 6 million lesbian, bisexual and queer people on HER - the world's largest and most loved free dating app for LGBTQ women.

So it specifically says its for WOMEN. But it isn't, is it?

@SqeakyHindge

Seriously deleting my whole post, couldn’t just remove quoted part.

Meanwhile let’s here what shit stirring bloke says that only uses mumsnet for self purpose.

I’m done

MNHQ don't remove part of a post. They remove the entire post and any subsequent posts that contain the deleted post.

@AtSwimTwoBerts

From the HER website...

Join 6 million lesbian, bisexual and queer people on HER - the world's largest and most loved free dating app for LGBTQ women.

So it specifically says its for WOMEN. But it isn't, is it?

According to the Trade Descriptions Act 1968

The Trade Descriptions Act 1968 says that it is an offence for a trader to give a false or misleading description of the goods and services they are spending their money on

I don’t know if these apps charge for membership but they may be skating on thin ice with the description of the service they are selling.

At the very least they should be allowing users to filter or select according to sex if they are claiming to be for women only.

And I can’t see how it would be acceptable in law to comply with their product description by changing the meaning of a word.

If a website was advertising a car for sale and you ordered that car and a donkey turned up, you would be entitled to claim that the product you received did not match the description and get a refund.

I don’t know if these apps charge for membership but they may be skating on thin ice with the description of the service they are selling
At the very least they should be allowing users to filter or select according to sex if they are claiming to be for women only

How exactly are they skating on thin ice if they clearly state they are open to all women, including trans women?
If they're clearly upfront about it like seems they are, they're not exactly breaking any descriptions act, are they?!

If a website was advertising a car for sale and you ordered that car and a donkey turned up

pgrin]
Sorry, but that just got an actual lol
Yes, because donkeys can be cars as well.
It's totally comparable not

Unless you're trying to compare trans women to donkeys?
Which if so is

Emoji grin went a bit awry there!

At the very least they should be allowing users to filter or select according to sex if they are claiming to be for women only

They include transwomen as women, despite the penises, and they are allowed to.

How exactly are they skating on thin ice if they clearly state they are open to all women, including trans women?

Do they provide a way for lesbians to screen out "women" with penises?

Well that opens a fairly specific debate as to what 'women' legally means in UK law.

Well that opens a fairly specific debate as to what 'women' legally means in UK law.

What does?

There are secret underground lesbian groups around to which you have to be invited by another member. I’ve just been invited to one this afternoon as it happens. One would never know about these groups if one didn’t already have connections in the lesbian community, so it must be incredibly difficult for newly out lesbians because it gives them no chance. I wish it wasn’t so but it’s just what we’ve had to do

I am so sorry that at a time when everyone else is ‘out’ that lesbian women have been forced to do this for safety and in preservation of their community.

A while back (Before COVID) I was speaking with a couple of young lesbians who had left a so-called women’s function because an older person who was fairly obviously male would not leave them alone and who kept harassing them. These were young women, recently out, denied the chance of solidarity and community. It was very sad.

@YetAnotherSpartacus

There are secret underground lesbian groups around to which you have to be invited by another member. I’ve just been invited to one this afternoon as it happens. One would never know about these groups if one didn’t already have connections in the lesbian community, so it must be incredibly difficult for newly out lesbians because it gives them no chance. I wish it wasn’t so but it’s just what we’ve had to do

I am so sorry that at a time when everyone else is ‘out’ that lesbian women have been forced to do this for safety and in preservation of their community.

A while back (Before COVID) I was speaking with a couple of young lesbians who had left a so-called women’s function because an older person who was fairly obviously male would not leave them alone and who kept harassing them. These were young women, recently out, denied the chance of solidarity and community. It was very sad.

Absolutely 👏🏼 👏🏼

I’d add to what I said before that young gay men can find solidarity, community and sex, if that is what they want, very easily in person and online. No one tells them they need to be inclusive or accept people with female genitals as sexual partners and they would not Accept it if they did.

Once again, and in very familiar ways, the burden falls on women.

@NeedToKnow101

Glinner isn't fighting 'his' cause, he's fighting the cause of women and girls.

'The main point is a lesbian who put in their bio she wanted to only meet other biological lesbians, was censored and told she wasn't inclusive so removed her from the site.'

How is it ok that a lesbian be excluded from a so-called lesbian dating website? Why can't lesbians use the site called 'HER' to meet other lesbians without being thrown off it?

This is such nonsense.

If you break terms and condition of any commercial service you can be excluded from using that service.

HER are totally, unambiguously clear about their ethos.

And Glinner absolutely does not speak for women and girls. He’s pretty damn good at speaking over them though.

Apologies- haven’t read the whole thread. I just wonder how this could be policed. Good idea, but still open to the same misuses surely?

'HER are totally, unambiguously clear about their ethos. ' !!!!!

WTF @JustAmotherOne - so their 'ethos' means excluding women who only romantically love other women, from a dating site called 'HER!!'

You couldn't fucking make it up. How does an 'ethos' over-ride the fact that some people are gay and do not want to have sex with the opposite sex!? It's ridiculous.

No, that’s not what their ethos is, and no, it doesn’t over-ride anyone’s right to choose who they have sex with.

Inflammatory hyperbole is not helpful.

@Mockolate

If a website was advertising a car for sale and you ordered that car and a donkey turned up

pgrin]
Sorry, but that just got an actual lol
Yes, because donkeys can be cars as well.
It's totally comparable not

Unless you're trying to compare trans women to donkeys?
Which if so is

For the sake of clarity I am absolutely not comparing anyone to donkeys.

I am making the point that a woman is an adult human female and if an app claims to be for women then that’s who it should be for.

The owners of the app cannot unilaterally change the definition of the word woman and take money on the basis that it is an app for women.