AIBU to think that lesbians deserve a dating app that caters exclusively to lesbians?

[Glinner]

Recently I opened an account with the app Her to bring attention to the many straight men invading lesbian dating apps by claiming a 'lesbian', 'queer' or 'trans' identity.

Given that lesbians are adult human females exclusively attracted to other adult human females, am I being unreasonable to believe that lesbians deserve spaces of their own, both online and in the real world?

FGM activists can't even talk about their activism without being told they're not being inclusive to males who call themselves women.

I think it’s sad that lesbians have been complaining about this problem for a long time, and nobody has given a shit until a man raised it. Don’t get me wrong @Glinner, I’m glad you have, but it just goes to show that nobody actually gives a shit about what’s happening to women, much less lesbians, unless a man says it.

The giggle app have said they will exclude men and look at the backlash the creator has received.
It’s clear lesbians are divided, with some happy to accept males in lesbian spaces and some completely opposed to it, we have no way of knowing which side is bigger. IMO the people who are opposed at the invasion of males into lesbian or sex segregated spaces should always trump those who don’t. Just like some women are happy for those with a penis to be in women’s toilets or changing rooms the rights of those who aren’t should always be prioritised, otherwise male bodied people can simply do what they please.

IMO the people who are opposed at the invasion of males into lesbian or sex segregated spaces should always trump those who don’t. Just like some women are happy for those with a penis to be in women’s toilets or changing rooms the rights of those who aren’t should always be prioritised, otherwise male bodied people can simply do what they please.

Exactly, it's a matter of consent.

So no one can name any lesbian groups driven underground or services no longer providing for women in all this moral panic.

I wonder why the giggle app, which uses phrenology and “biometric” measures to decide who is female enough to join isn’t raising the obvious concern - what’s next? Selfies with your genitals in frame so we can REALLY tell who’s a woman? But keep defending giggle of course.

Vancouver rape relief
North Lanarkshire women's aid services

There are loads if you care to look into it yourself.

And yes, we will defend Giggle, at leas Sall is trying to provide a service for just women instead of throwing us all under the bus.

Well of course nobody is going to name secret lesbian groups that have been forced underground, cos, like, then they wouldn’t be a secret, would they? Honestly, as a gocha it’s about as stupid as it gets.

There are secret underground lesbian groups around to which you have to be invited by another member. I’ve just been invited to one this afternoon as it happens. One would never know about these groups if one didn’t already have connections in the lesbian community, so it must be incredibly difficult for newly out lesbians because it gives them no chance. I wish it wasn’t so but it’s just what we’ve had to do.

@IAmFleshIAmBone both of those organisations seem to still be going?

Ah so you agree with giggle that if you had been in an accident and suffered facial disfiguration you wouldn’t be a woman anymore. Sounds sad to me but you do you.

Sorry @Whatisthisfuckery how would the secret underground cabal of lesbian societies be impacted by trans issues if they’re already secret and invitation only?

Selfies with your genitals in frame so we can REALLY tell who’s a woman?

But why can't transwomen just make the decision themselves not to join a lesbian dating app? Why should anyone have to police it?

@MrsBrunch one more time, Her is inclusive of trans people. They had a right to be there.
Giggle has set up this system themselves so ask them why they felt to not only have it in t&cs but also set up a phrenology based system for entrance. It’s been mentioned elsewhere in this thread that trans people do tend to disclose their trans status, and I would question how many are trying to get into an app like that. I think it’s dangerous to measure womanhood on the shape of a skull personally.

Further catfishing is a Thing and has been since the early days of the internet, I don’t think it’s a trans issue. See also: the whole tv show and film: Catfish

@Expectant

Apologies, they are both organisations that have had their funding withdrawn and they don't include 'trans women'. That seems relevant to the discussion doesn't it? Proof that women are not allowed their own spaces, and if they want them, that support will be withdrawn and given to organisations that are 'trans inclusive'.

As for Giggle, yes it might not be perfect. No one is saying it is. But Sal is trying to find a way to let women have their own app without infiltration by men. It's difficult. And it's not perfect but at least she's trying. And she should be applauded.

Well @Expectant88, genius, because we’re back to where we were 50 years ago, having to meet in the shadows to avoid harassment, being called names and threatened. I suppose you think that’s progress.

Her is inclusive of trans people

I know that. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about why it's not possible for lesbians to set up a lesbian only dating app due to cancel culture.

We know why they won't make the decision not to join lesbian dating apps. Because a lot of late transitioning men seem to get off on the fact that they are forcing themselves into places where women don't want them. Male lesbians. 'female penis'. What a joke. We all know what it is and we're not allowed to say it.

Yes each category of personal identify and sexuality should have their own space. Keeps it simple in an otherwise confusing new world of progressive gender politics.

@MrsBrunch only giggle has tried that with their phrenology bollocks. You’re asking a really silly question because the answer is: a more widely servicing app makes more money. App makers like to make money. You should ask @Glinner when he’s going to financially back one.

@Whatisthisfuckery with your huge galaxy brain you’re saying both that lesbians were driven underground (meaning no longer able to be meeting in groups openly) and also that no one will notice eh this because they were always meeting secretly anyway. It doesn’t make sense.

I agree it is appalling that Giggle has to resort to such crude measures to keep it safe for women because men will not respect boundaries.

@notyourhandmaid exactly. At least she's trying. I'm not a fan of the app but I'm grateful for what she's doing.

@IAmFleshIAmBone thanks for this.

Trans issues were only part of the reason the Vancouver rape relief lost their funding: they also refused to help sex workers. The council decided they could better put funds into other centres that help more women, per this article: www.capilanocourier.com/2020/04/01/vancouver-rape-relief-denied-grant-funding-due-to-trans-exclusive-policies/

Struggling to get info on North Lanarkshire that isn’t behind a paywall, so not sure on that one though. If you’ve got a link, I’d love to understand more.

I'm just going to say I disagree that an app for lesbians only couldn't make money if it was left to peacefully grow.

I know people will put forward all sorts of reasons why this is not possible but the truth is that women, particularly lesbians, are not allowed sex segregation at the moment. That right has been eroded now.

It's a bit like climate change isn't it. It doesn't matter until it's too late to do anything about it.

@Glinner when will you financially back the establishment of this app? What are you doing outside of harassing transpeople?