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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a platonic cuddle friend

181 replies

HelenaWise · 27/02/2021 01:48

My DH is a lovely man and we have a great relationship, he's great with the kids, etc. etc. The only issue is his lack of physical affection. He's always complimenting me and saying he loves me and that I look wonderful, but he just won't touch me. He's always been like this - it's just who he is. This was fine for the first few years but now I'm really starting to crave some human contact Sad We discussed this a number of times, and he says he'll do more but never does for more than a day or two. It just doesn't seem to be possible.

It's gotten so bad that I've started to think about asking my NDN for a cuddle. We're on good terms and I'm not attracted to him AT ALL but he just looks like he'd give really good cuddles. DH is fine with this in principle (we're not in UK so no covid concern), but he's worried that NDN's wife will flip if I bring this up and ruin our friendship. I didn't think this would be a big deal since we get along so well, but DH is making me think I'm a bit of a freak.

OP posts:
Tnuc · 27/02/2021 13:23

I find this a bit weird.

rawalpindithelabrador · 27/02/2021 13:27

FFS. For real? 'Neighbour, you look like you give good cuddles, hold me.' Get a body pillow.

Yepeyesaidit · 27/02/2021 13:37

OP you should have my NDN. He’s a widower who happily cuddles with lots of women nearby.

buzzandwoodyallday · 27/02/2021 13:38

Seems like you need to see someone about this strange cuddle obsession op. How very strange that you think this would be remotely normal behaviour.... Shock

ExhaustedGrinch · 27/02/2021 13:42

My partner is perfect for cuddling, but he's all mine. If anyone asked him to be their "cuddle buddy" they'd swiftly be removed from our social circle because I would/could never trust them as I would assume there was an ulterior motive, I would also think them quite strange to ask in the first place. If you ask then you seriously risk losing the friendship you have with them.

Schoolchoicesucks · 27/02/2021 13:43

Where does the bit about bj's in the garage come in? Is that before or after cuddle buddies on the progression of neighbourly intimacies? I imagine it's definitely after taking in parcels...

WWJackieWeaverD · 27/02/2021 13:50

What ExhaustedGrinch said.

morninglive · 27/02/2021 13:55

This post is weird

Redglitter · 27/02/2021 13:56

what I envision is something like 10+ minutes and yes, perhaps on a couch

Youre coming across as weirder and weirder as the thread goes on. In what world would that be in any way appropriate

so I assumed this would be kind of a natural progression

NO ITS NOT. Ffs there's a big difference between giving someone a hug when you see them and having a full on 10 minute cuddle session.

Redglitter · 27/02/2021 14:05

Why would I progress from a cheeky BJ in the garage to cuddling

Just noticed this Shock You're progressing FROM a BJ to cuddles??? I guess that's the neighbourly intimacies you were referring to then.....

Zoinksalot · 27/02/2021 14:07

Unless you're tripping on MDMA then no lol.

If you are then crack on

MechantGourmet · 27/02/2021 14:09

I think the OP was being sarcastic about the BJ thing. She's probably asleep now though, if she's in Oz.

ruruvision · 27/02/2021 14:18

What do you mean by 'cuddle', OP? Like a prolonged hug? Tentacles wrapped around tightly? Maybe a weighted blanket could help.

dimples76 · 27/02/2021 14:19

I am single and in the UK and I really miss hugs. I can hug my kids and my Mum but I would agree that hugging a man in a platonic relationship feels much better. That said I would never ask a male friend for a hug as I think that if would make them uncomfortable (and doubly so if they had a partner). Also ten minutes wow - that is something else!

Zippy1510 · 27/02/2021 14:27

This is the weirdest thread. No it’s not ok to ask your married neighbour to spend prolonged periods of time cuddling you. It’s not a natural progression to any relationship unless you have some form of open marriage or your neighbours have expressed that offering rent a cuddles is part of their normal life. I would be very uncomfortable or more likely think you were insane.

BlueJag · 27/02/2021 14:47

I ask my husband for kisses and hugs daily. He never needs cuddles but I do. He is very cuddly but I can't linger for long. He is like a cat he struggles away after a few minutes. Smile

Ileflottante · 27/02/2021 15:03

He's very round and masculine - this isn't a great description but it's a physique that's very appealing for a lengthy period of cuddling (to me)

I really, really want this to be real, and I really, really want to know what his wife thinks of the mad woman next door asking her husband for a ‘lengthy’ cuddle session 😂

BrumBoo · 27/02/2021 15:12

@user88899

Not interested in a hugging woman, this is supposedly strictly platonic, but needs to be a man.... OP please do go and ask him for a hug, I really want to hear how this turns out!
Definitely in at least one divorce.

I do understand the description of the 'cuddly type physic', there was a bloke who was a similar description at my old university. Just wanted a squeeze at times, he had a proper bear-arms-chest look - and I got my way!

We also ended up shagging a lot, because it wasn't actually about wanting a hug then and this isn't about just wanting a lengthy cuddle here.....

OscarWildesCat · 27/02/2021 15:32

This is up there with the weirdest things I’ve read on here. Your husband doesn’t like to hug for more than 2 minutes so you’re planning to ask your married neighbour to snuggle you on a sofa for extended periods of time. I honest cannot fathom why you think this is normal?!.

EarringsandLipstick · 27/02/2021 15:47

I'm so glad this thread is still up. It's really made me happy with its bonker-ness. The replies are epic.

OP let us know how you get on 😃

RickiTarr · 27/02/2021 15:48

@EarringsandLipstick

I'm so glad this thread is still up. It's really made me happy with its bonker-ness. The replies are epic.

OP let us know how you get on 😃

Yeah, knowing everyone is going properly bananas is so reassuring isn’t it?
starbrightstarlight8888 · 27/02/2021 16:01

This is hilarious. Op do you have issues with social boundaries? This is bizarre.

caringcarer · 27/02/2021 16:29

Get s cat or dog, they love cuddles. Leave the NDN alone.

FabulousMeOhYes · 27/02/2021 18:28

😂 this is ridiculous. You’d be getting a swift fuck off from me if you asked to snuggle up with my DH!

Daisychainsandglitter · 27/02/2021 18:40

This is a very strange thread! I can't see your neighbours wife being too happy with wanting cuddles from her husband.
Wtf Confused