ToNot be forced to be vegetarian?

[Puddingypops]

It’s a problem, it really is.

I love my DP, we have been together 5 years. He has recently taken on a climate change project at work and has decided he (we) should be vegetarian for the sake of climate change.

I agree that it could help, but for the record, I dont drive, (we have no car), I recycle everything, I don’t waste food, I haven’t been on a plane in more than 10 years and won’t (I’m not a well person). My carbon footprint is low compared to many.

I agreed to take small changes and substitute beef mince for soya mince (because beef I believe is the worst for carbon emissions) but my son is intolerant of it and had a very gassy and smelly reaction (so bad his trumping even scared the dog!!!).

So I’m thinking to try turkey or pork mince instead, but after a week that’s all not good enough for DP and he wants full vegetarian for all of us, he is refusing to eat meat and keep going in about it and it’s making me angry.

I don’t drink, I don’t go out much (again because I am not well) so good is a great pleasure to me (not in an unhealthy way I’m a size 8). I keep saying to him he can be a vegetarian, but I’m getting sick of hearing about it, first thing he said this morning was “so is exDH becoming vegetarian too?” (My ex DH who we are all good friends with).

Aggghhhh I don’t want to be a vegetarian!!! I feel like I give an inch in making small changes but now that’s not good enough and I hate being told what to do especially when I have few pleasures left in life due to being so poorly for the last 8 years!what should I do?

@MuddleMoo

You can just leave the chicken out or put a quorn thing in for him

OP doesn’t mind cooking vegetarian food, but she doesn’t want to be a vegetarian herself.

I'm the only vegetarian in my house. I'm also the cook. Naturally my DP eats a pretty low meat diet but I do cook separate meals for him when he wants meat.
Just ready meat and ignore him.

@Bagamoyo1

That was in reply to we often have things like “garlic chicken breast, rice and hallumi salad” so I need to know what to give him instead of the meat element

So I was helping with ideas.
Is that ok!?

@Bluetrews25

Tell him he's turning into the dietary equivalent of a Jehova's Witness.

Then do yourself (and DS) a lovely, crip bacon butty.

I agree with @goldfinchfan soy is not a well grown crop.
I would prefer the environmental impact of local organic meat in moderation to frequent quorn. Particularly in the UK.

(It also isn't his decision to make.)

Apologies if someone has said this as I haven't RTFT, but what about buying higher welfare meat? You can buy direct from suppliers like Knepp wild range meat (should come up if you google it). It's more expensive but buying free range, outdoor reared meat is much more ethical than eating animals that have been factory farmed.

It’s not fair of him to pressure you like this at all op. I’m vegan, and it does make me sad that my DP still eats meat, even though then he tried vegan for a month he felt far far better than ever. But, it’s your choice. Maybe if you can afford switch to locally sourced, organic beef? That’s what I’ve done for my DP. I don’t eat it. But everything we have now is organic. Works out the same costing really because it’s half the meat. I used to love meat, I was a fillet steak hound, but after researching, I don’t think I’ll ever eat meat again. That’s my decision, just as you have yours x

His choice he should ship and cook for himself. Eat meat if you want to.
Do you fear he will be aggressive if you refuse not to eat meat?

What's 'dubious' about Quorn production?

The product tastes of nothing and is often 'enhanced' to taste like a weird copy of meat (so a good substitute for people who'd rather be eating meat) but its production, fungus cells grown in a vat, is really clever and low-impact, climatically.

He is being bvu.
All you can do is agree to eat some vegetarian meals when he cooks and do your best to accommodate him when you cook, but he absolutely should not be forcing a restrictive dietary choice on you.

tbh if he's vegetarian not vegan, he's not making much of an impact environmentally, since you still need big herds on big areas of land fed with food grown on other big areas of land, the only difference is whether you eat the meat by products of the dairy industry or put them in the bin. tell him to calm down and stop going on about it, he's probably just making everyone want a bacon butty.

Quorn (good substitute for people who'd rather be eating meat but want a substitute, that is!). I realise it's not a satisfying subst. if you truly want meat (while also tasting a bit too meaty for many veggies who don't want to eat that).

Give him a ready washed salad bag from Sainsbury's for tea.

@Radio4Rocks

Tell him it isn't happening, not now, not ever and if he doesn't like it to piss off.

Then refuse to discuss it again, tell him the subject is closed.

This.

I'm vegan and I'm sure he'll want you to become vegan soon. Hard to imagine he won't be as appalled at the dairy industry as he is at the meat industry. I'd obviously recommend a vegan diet but you need to want it yourself and getting the right variety of food can be difficult and time consuming. Surely it would be better for you to have some meat free days and approach it more gradually.

Surely it would be better for you to have some meat free days and approach it more gradually.

Approach what more gradually? Becoming a vegetarian or vegan? The OP has said she doesn't want to do this. Surely she should be doing what she wants to do in this regard?

I'm vegan and I think this guy is being a pillock.
Tell him to stop nagging.

I wouldn't put up with that. I'd find a time when we could speak together privately and weren't already stressed or tired, and I'd tell him how you feel. It's fine if he wants to stop eating meat, but you don't feel the same way, so you'll continue eating as you wish, as will your dc (as in it's their choice, with no pressure from anyone else to be vegetarian or not).

I'd tell him I won't have my food choices dictated by anyone else, no matter how much I love them, nor do I wish to be made to feel guilty or unreasonable for eating meat as and when I choose. That means no lectures, no sighs, and no meaning glances at my plate loaded with delicious meat.

With luck, he'll see that you're serious and back off, because otherwise it sounds like he's becoming obsessed, and that's no fun to live with!

I'm a vegetarian I have been for around 25 years. My partner I have lived with for about 15 years eats meat. Its not for me to decide what he eats. Your partner sounds really controlling.

Btw, I'm guessing that you are the one doing most of the work of running your family life in a way that doesn't harm the planet too much.
Tell him to belt up.

he wants full vegetarian for all of us, he is refusing to eat meat and keep going in about it and it’s making me angry

If he's normally an ok guy, point out to him that he's being really fucking controlling trying to make you eat a diet that he has chosen, and its actually abusive to constantly hector you in an attempt to force you to follow his new ideas.

It might actually shock him when he realises the reality of what he is doing. I doubt he sees it for what it actually is.

This is NOT about food.

This is NOT about climate change.

This IS about him being a controlling dickhead.

You need to tell him, loud and clear, that he can choose to eat, or not eat, whatever the hell he likes but he doesn’t get to dictate to you what you can or can’t eat. If you allow him to control what you eat, he will only get worse.

You need to let your child decide their diet, neither parent is correct/incorrect and can over rule the other.

Likewise, it’s fine to not join him in being vegetarian. I’d not want a partner who disagreed with my choice and refused to cook for me though just because we had different views on the planet and food

YANBU, I think he needs to compromise.

I live in a mixed household with me and one other veggie, others eat meat. I do more than half of the cooking, so I'll do 2 or 3 meals a week that are totally vegetarian - things like chilli, curries, veg lasagne, etc. The rest will be something plus veg, so the vegetarians have quiche, nutroast, etc, and the meat eaters can have whatever meat they want and we share the veg. We also have things like risotto where meat can be stirred in at the last minute for the meat eaters.

I don't eat any meat substitutes - hate the taste and texture, plus they tend to be expensive and too salty, and if a recipe is really for meat, it's never going to be as nice with fake meat. He should look for recipes that use beans, chickpeas, lentils, nuts, etc. If you like Indian food there are so many curries which are naturally meat free.

But really it's up to your dh to find some nice veggie recipes that you all enjoy, and ways to have mix and match meals. He can't decided what you eat, and the best way to try to convert you would be by cooking you such delicious food that you want to eat it more often.

I’d not want a partner who disagreed with my choice and refused to cook for me though just because we had different views on the planet and food.

I don’t think veggie people should be expected to cook meat. It’s fine if they want to and they absolutely should be doing their fair share of the cooking but that doesn’t need to include meat.