ToNot be forced to be vegetarian?

[Puddingypops]

It’s a problem, it really is.

I love my DP, we have been together 5 years. He has recently taken on a climate change project at work and has decided he (we) should be vegetarian for the sake of climate change.

I agree that it could help, but for the record, I dont drive, (we have no car), I recycle everything, I don’t waste food, I haven’t been on a plane in more than 10 years and won’t (I’m not a well person). My carbon footprint is low compared to many.

I agreed to take small changes and substitute beef mince for soya mince (because beef I believe is the worst for carbon emissions) but my son is intolerant of it and had a very gassy and smelly reaction (so bad his trumping even scared the dog!!!).

So I’m thinking to try turkey or pork mince instead, but after a week that’s all not good enough for DP and he wants full vegetarian for all of us, he is refusing to eat meat and keep going in about it and it’s making me angry.

I don’t drink, I don’t go out much (again because I am not well) so good is a great pleasure to me (not in an unhealthy way I’m a size 8). I keep saying to him he can be a vegetarian, but I’m getting sick of hearing about it, first thing he said this morning was “so is exDH becoming vegetarian too?” (My ex DH who we are all good friends with).

Aggghhhh I don’t want to be a vegetarian!!! I feel like I give an inch in making small changes but now that’s not good enough and I hate being told what to do especially when I have few pleasures left in life due to being so poorly for the last 8 years!what should I do?

He's a grown man, right so why this sentence "so I need to know what to give him instead of the meat element."
Maybe you mean your DS...?

Stand up to him and tell him squarely that he's entitled to his beliefs but that you won't be emotionally bludgeoned by him.
Tell him you'll eat what you bloody want and so will DS.

It sounds like he cares more about looking good to the world and 'being a good person' by being able to tell everyone that you are all vegetarians because of him and his beliefs.
But he's not 'being a good person' by inflicting his will on his loved ones.
You state your case and proceed the way you want.

I am veggie but wouldn't force it on anyone.

I find it quite easy, say for Sunday lunch, to make two mains - one veggie, one non-veggie and we all share the veg.
Those non-veggies in the household buy their own cooked meat so they can make a ham sandwich if they want one.
We all eat one non meat dish a week and even the carnivores say they like it !

Tell your DH he is being unreasonable and if he wants veggie all the time he can cook his own.

@lottiegarbanzo oops sorry think I picked up the wrong post!

@Palavah

You can't force him to eat meat any more than he can force you not to.

This 👍

Vegetarian for 30 years. Tell him to do one

Your dh is right that meat eating is a massive problem for the planet.

It's not the only problem, but it is a significant one. However, from a climate change point of view, it does not make much difference to the planet if you eat a small amount of meat as compared to no meat. And from a health point of view, it is better to not eat too much meat anyway.

I think what I would do in your situation is to reduce meat consumption as a family, all of which is beneficial for the above reasons and explain that you are not ready to be fully vegetarian, (and may never be vegetarian), but that you are happy to reduce meat consumption - because like it or not, the consumption of meat worldwide is a genuine problem, and one of the biggest drivers of climate change.

This is what we have done in our family - 2 of us are vegetarian, and the others eat varying amounts - I'm not going to impose anything on anyone - but I will explain why reducing quantities is good for health and good for the planet.

I also think meat substitutes are pretty grim, and carry their own problems. I'd much rather make something that is comfortable in what it is (eg a sweet potato chilli) than use 'fake beef' mince.

Read him the riot act. Seriously...i once was in an abusive relationship whereby he imposed vegetarianism then veganism on me....i didn't end well...for me. I lost my sense of self but I was young and foolish.

I do get that meat is bad for the planet but so is driving and having kids etc.
I would sleep on the couch till he gives up his tedious lecturing.

For the record tell him being alive is bad for the planet.

I went vegetarian last Christmas. I’ve made it very clear to my husband and daughter that I don’t expect them to be vegetarian.

I do 99.9% of the cooking so the meals are vegetarian but if they want something else with it they’re welcome to. I occasionally buy a steak for my husband or if we’re ordering takeaway I’ll add a meat dish.

It’s not my place to force my beliefs on my family.

As it happens they’re both pretty happy being 99% vegetarian.

He gets to make his own food choices. He doesn’t get to impose them on you or expect you to prepare his food.

For goodness sake, just tell him to fuck off.

Still not comprehending the bit about the exDH becoming vehicles as well and your update only appears to have made the situation/dynamics weirder in that regard. No matter how well you all get on, no idea how your DH/partner thinks the exDH needs to get on board with this. Shows your DH/partner lacks boundaries or is mentally disturbed.

I'm a vegetarian, I went veggie not too long after I met DH and a few years later without any pressure from me he also went veggie so we now bring DC up as veggie too. And I think YANBU and should tell your DH to piss off! He's being ridiculous.

I agree with the others - tell him he can decide he wants to be vegetarian but not make other people become vegetarian and you are being clear you do not want to be vegetarian, nor will your DS and most importantly, your ds is unable to eat soya meat substitutes, so your DP isn't to feed that to DS either. (Perfectly possible to make veggie meals without fake meat).

If he doesn't respect your choice, I would think carefully about continuing with this relationship.

But be very clear about your choice first. Not that you'll try, or you'll try some substitutes. You are not interested in becoming vegetarian and he can respect your decision or leave.

@Puddingypops

YANBU absolutely not. Like hell would I be forced or bullied or coerced into anything by anyone, least of all a bloody man.

Just eat less red meat by all means, as too much is not good for you, but only if it's what YOU want.

I am all for helping the environment/helping animals, but like fuck would I be told what to do by anyone.

And I'm not being funny, but your DP sounds like a pain in the arse, and like he will end up being insufferable. Nip it in the bud now. Tell him to quit telling you what to do, or you will fall out massively.

Once you let a bossy man think he can control you, there's no going back, because if they think they can bully you, they will never quit, and will be controlling other aspects of your life too.

If my OH tried this I would be buying in Sirloin streak by the bag full.

I eat very little meat anyway, but no one gets to dictate my diet.

I am a grown woman, not a 3 year old.

'No' is complete sentence in this respect. Do you want to be a vegetarian? No. No, you don't. You don't need to provide an explanation or enter into detailed discussion with anyone else about your choice here. Say no. Repeat if required.

Tell him he's turning into the dietary equivalent of a Jehova's Witness.

Then do yourself (and DS) a lovely, crip bacon butty.

My husband very suddenly turned into an eco warrior (with good reason) two years ago and overnight decided he wanted to be vegetarian. He has never EVER suggested I do the same, though as it happens I don’t eat much meat and generally like veggie food. It’s not been a big issue tbh, he would definitely cook if i insisted on it but due to his work hours it would end up being much later. Sometimes I’ll just get him something veggie out of the freezer and make myself something with chicken or fish which is fine.
A few months after he became vegetarian one or of ours sons did. So no I have one fussy carnivore son and one veggie son. That is much harder.

Hinbu at all to become veggie. But hibvvvu to make you one as well.
That all said, becoming vegetarian or at least giving up red meat is one of the most powerful things we can all do to save our planet. The key point is the enormous deforestation taking place on a daily basis to make space for grazing cows. Read up on it, it’s powerful stuff.

My two older DS are vegetarian (bordering on vegan) and the younger is a committed carnivore. My DD wavering . I think it’s made me reassess how I eat and I’ve moved to less meat. None of us had tried to influence the others in any way. It is possible to meet (meat? ) in the middle.

Soy is NOT a healthy food.
And the Soy farming causes a lot of damage to the planet

Also unless organic it is GM modified.
Many of the meat substitutes are also from dubious sources like Quorn
I used to be a veggie and ate quorn many times except I kep throwin gup after each meal.......quorn is developed from a Fungus ! which I am alleric to.
It used to be grown in egg white...so not vegan either.

OP trust your own instincts you are doing well with buying organic.

YANBU. I'm vegetarian, not for ethical reasons, just because I've never really liked meat all that much. No one has any right to be forcing their way of eating on anyone, especially their wife and child. My 13 year old DS was brought up with all food, including meat. It was when he was 11 that he started gradually eating less meat (he loves pigs and decided he couldn't eat them anymore). A couple of months after, he decided it wasn't really fair for him to eat other animals if he didn't eat pigs and became veggie himself (was quite sweet really).

The point is, I didn't force him to eat they way I did. It was completely his choice as it should be everyone's

But how much of the beef consumed by the average British consumer is actually British beef?
@Octane 26% of meat is imported though that is balanced by exports of around 17%(different countries prefer different cuts). The overwhelming majority of our beef imports are from Ireland so will use similar methods. New Zealand lamb is probably quite sustainable though given the transport not as good as Welsh lamb.

None of that is relevant to the OP's own footprint though, just because someone else buys cheap horseburgers makes no difference to her personal emissions because she can choose to buy sustainably from an independent butcher.

Tell him he's turning into the dietary equivalent of a Jehova's Witness

😂

Your dinners sound delish btw!