To have nothing nice

[Givemethechocolate]

Aibu to think you just can't have anything nice when you have young children.
My sofa has stains all over it, crumbs everywhere. Playdoh in the carpet. Pen on the wooden table. Stuff knocked over and stained. Clothes ruined from stains. No matter how many times I say please he careful, it's not listened to. I know my DS doesn't mean to do it on purpose but it's just annoying when you pay for things and eventually they get ruined.
Anyone else feel the same?

I did though. And how is baldly agreeing with the OP sarcastic in anyway? There was no indication of sarcasm and your follow up point inferred the first line was what you thought.
Don't be silly now

Kids are messy, but you can limit the carnage. 1001 carpet shampoo from the poundshop for the sofa stains. Just whisk til enough foam then apply, wait then sponge off. Play dough & pens put away safe after use. Supervise their use, at a play table or in the kitchen. Washing up liquid rubbed on & then rinse with cold water is great for pen marks. Snacks eaten at table or in kitchen only.

@AtSwimTwoBerts

How would you suggest stopping at 18 month old from ripping the wallpaper in his bedroom in the middle of the night?

Have him in a grobag in a cot where he can't get at the wallpaper, for a start. If your 18 month old is roaming freely in the middle of the night unsupervised, you have bigger problems than wallpaper anyway!

He's in a cot FFS. He rips the paper through the bars. How would a grobag stop that short of binding his arms up?

Honestly, stop being such a judgemental twat.

@AtSwimTwoBerts

I did though. And how is baldly agreeing with the OP sarcastic in anyway? There was no indication of sarcasm and your follow up point inferred the first line was what you thought. Don't be silly now

Ok

@Kdubs1981 thanks - that’s reassuring. His school has given us some magnetic letters which he uses to spell out words and we have ordered some special pens for children with dyspraxia so fingers crossed. Maybe one day I will have to stop him drawing on the walls!

[quote dingoesatemybaby]@FuckyouBrennan How would you suggest stopping at 18 month old from ripping the wallpaper in his bedroom in the middle of the night?

Genuine question, I really would like to know if you have a solution!! [/quote]
Move the cot away from the wall.

I've never given this much thought tbh. My DS is now 6 but I don't really recall him wrecking anything.
He was obviously sick plenty of times and spilled food everywhere when he was younger, but no real damage to anything.
He never drew on any walls or stained a carpet or sofa with anything. Mind you we had a black sofa when he was younger.

Only issue we've ever had is the top of our solid oak dining table is fairly scratched from general wear and tear and has a big mark on it from when DS left slime on it. It seems to have lifted the varnish

The dog however has caused plenty of devastation over the years. He chewed in excess of 20 DVDs, shoes, a leather dining room chair, handle off the chest of drawers, put endless holes in sleeves of clothes etc.
Also poos or is sick on the living room carpet once in a while just to piss me off (open plan living/dining/kitchen area but he always does it literally on the edge of where the carpet meets the tiles floor, never on the tiles)

@JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority

He's in the box room sadly so not much room so either way a wall will be in grabbing distance. Grumble.

Thanks for the suggestion though

The room can’t be so small that an 18 month olds arms can reach the wall from the middle of it.

@JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority

The room can’t be so small that an 18 month olds arms can reach the wall from the middle of it.

If there was nothing else in it maybe.

Either way I didn't 'let' my child rip the wallpaper, he just did it, and now I have ripped wallpaper. It's not like I sat there and watched him do it which seemed to be PP's suggestion.

So put the cot close to whatever else is in it.

@JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority I agree with you. The parents are ultimately the ones to control this behaviour and stop it, but I also believe that I have been lucky to have two well behaved (most of the time!) children who have never had screaming tantrums in shops, or completely trashed my belongings. Of course, I take some responsibility for this in their upbringing, but it is also down to their personalities.

I hate to bring bad news but my teen DDs carpets were always covered in eyeshadow and fake tan. And bloody bronzing balls, everywhere. They did clean it though.

We also had one of those little yellow sticky men on the ceiling in the hall for literal years, I was always too knackered to remember to get it down, and would only notice when we had guests.

When DS was smaller I had a magic solution to the baby sick and then the mess of dropped and flung about food in the BLW stage. I had a dog that would zoom over quick as lightening and gobble it all up even the baby sick . She even ate errand playdoh once (cue frantic googling and calls to the vet).

I think some kids just attract mess. My niece and nephew are chalk and cheese. She’s neat as a pin and he’s just a magnet for dirt. He manages to slip trip and bash things an awful lot too. Poor little sod is a one man wrecking crew even though he tries hard to be sensible.

It will absolutely get better OP I promise. Until they turn into teens and then they fester away in their bedrooms curating bacteria samples in stashed mugs and plates .

The kids aren't too bad but the cat ruins EVERYTHING

I just wouldn’t expect good furniture etc at this age, it’s kind of unavoidable unless you have a separate playroom and don’t really go in to the sitting room.

We keep all meals in the dining room which saves some mess, and we’re careful about using crayons, other than that there’s not much you can do. We’ve got my late DGM’s old sofa and an ancient cheap rug, so aren’t too fussed. Our side tables are second hand and I keep a tablecloth over our TV unit to protect it from bumps and scratches. I’ve just accepted our house won’t be immaculate while we’ve got small DC. I don’t really worry about it. I’d rather DC was able to play than worry about pristine furniture, but I appreciate not everyone shares that view.

@warmeduppizza so sorry.

@warmandtoasty2day

it does get better, mine have all left home,

This. When DS2(29) stayed with us for a few months between flats, I rolled up the nice rugs and put them away for the duration...when his brother left, we had the antique furniture he'd scribbled on re-covered/restored.

All I have to add is that this didn’t happen in my house, and I think it’s because messy play and eating only happens in the kitchen where the floors, tablecloth and walls are wipe clean. I also only get messy things out when I can focus on the kids and am in the same room, and then packed away. I don’t feel like I have limited their creativity, there are always pens and paper which they can grab whenever and as they get older I have added more things in to their independent play - my six year old can paint with watercolours whenever she likes for example, she knows to only use them in the kitchen. I don’t understand how playdoh would get on the carpet because I know where the playdoh is all the time that it is out, and I don’t get it out if I can’t concentrate enough to know where it is. Now they are a bit older, they do have snacks on the sofa - but something like popcorn, not chocolate and juice - but snack and meal times are in the kitchen. That probably sounds smug and I don’t mean it too - but it seems common sense to me. (My house is a mess by the way, it’s just not dirty!)

If he’s NT you tell him no. My NT 18 month old understands no. And stop. Or you move the cot.
My older son is disabled so doesn’t understand so he doesn’t have anything in his room that has the potential to be damaged as it would also really upset him.
If they ruin wallpaper don’t put wallpaper in their room. If it’s now looking a mess I assume you’ve stripped it? This is part of the OP I think- leaving things ruined,
Not cleaning spills immediately etc. Obviously torn wallpaper will look a mess but if you remove it and paint the room then there is no reason for it to look messy.

They probably just don't realise that they have to try and tidy up sometimes?

Tell them the government have sent a letter to all parents of kids asking them to keep their toys tidy...starting today

@Comfortzone

They probably just don't realise that they have to try and tidy up sometimes?

Tell them the government have sent a letter to all parents of kids asking them to keep their toys tidy...starting today

Or just tell them that you, as their parent, want them to tidy up 🤷🏻‍♀️

@warmeduppizza

I grew up in a house full of antique furniture and fragile glassware. I was a good child. Nothing ever got broken. Except for me. I’m now a very anxious adult who takes up the absolute minimum amount of space and is scared to breathe.

This. We had to close doors gently. Nothing could ever even bang never mind break. Nothing got broken or chipped. We crept around quietly, were not allowed to talk quietly etc and I was an anxious teenager and I’m still anxious. Even the blinds in my parents house are raised to a certain measured height each day and not more or less. Every 5 minutes my dad will criticise the way you stack the plates in the dishwasher (which are all washed before hand) or furniture is covered with throws and they are immaculate. They talk about preserving the value of tables and chairs etc eg that table was £500 but don’t realise at auction it would be lucky to fetch £50 and they think they will leave a fortune. The sad fact is most items are not antiques and devalue rapidly. Emma bridgewater mugs in 50 years will be in charity shops not auction houses

With 2 DC with motor skills difficulties our stuff didn't get trashed by having clear rules.

• food only sat in dining room or in kitchen
• wash hands after getting up from table
• felt tip pens / playdough / painting only in dining room (on table with padded cover + wash proof cover)
• only water for DC in living room, not squash
• no throwing things indoors
• and when older, nail varnish to be applied in bathroom