To have nothing nice

[Givemethechocolate]

Aibu to think you just can't have anything nice when you have young children.
My sofa has stains all over it, crumbs everywhere. Playdoh in the carpet. Pen on the wooden table. Stuff knocked over and stained. Clothes ruined from stains. No matter how many times I say please he careful, it's not listened to. I know my DS doesn't mean to do it on purpose but it's just annoying when you pay for things and eventually they get ruined.
Anyone else feel the same?

it not I

It can be really hard to have nice things when you have small children. We recently had to replace our old sofa , we bought the cheapest , darkest one we could as the dream sofa can wait until our smallest one is toilet trained and can drink from an open cup properly without spills.

@BrumBoo because I make my children eat sitting down at a table I must be the worst mother in the world. To a PP who likened pens to guns, did you miss where my DC have crayons at all times?

Having small kids is not an excuse to live like stig of the dump. Hold the baby and wipe surfaces, get a baby carrier to contain baby while you clean, give the toddler an activity to do. I've been disabled and had 2 poorly DC with a 16m age gap and my house has been 'lived in' clean the entire time.

On interior design shows they say basically everything below waist height is going to be ruined, put nice stuff up above that.

Buy a trash couch but get a nice mirror that goes over the mantle. Nice books on a high shelf. Carpets will be ruined, but if you want wallpaper go for it over a dado rail.

Zone the lower half of your room for them, upper half for you.

@MyGoMargot

Years later I have stashed boxes of 1000s of mixed Lego sets... what the hell do I do with it all?!

You send it to me, I sort it all into sets for you then you sell it?

I LOVE sorting out masses of mixed up
Lego!!

@TheMethodicalMeerkat

Oh give over *@BrumBoo*. Posters are responding to the OP and there’s nothing earth shattering in suggesting designated spaces for messy play and (gasp!) teaching children to respect their home and belongings. Hardly sanctimonious to point out you don’t have to live in a shithole when you become a parent.

Sorry, would you prefer pious rather than sanctimonious? Who actually reads these type of threads and thinks 'gosh this person must live in a shithole, I must tell them about my perfect child-rearing whilst obviously judging them. That will make them feel better when they're having a bad day!'. It's the same sort of people who read mum-blogs like Hurrah for Gin and pull a waspish face about how it's 'cool to be a bit of a shit moany parent'. It's just a bloody release from the daily grind of parenting.

You do it perfectly, well bloody done. The rest of us will carry on being covered in baby puke and ignoring that bit of carpet that's gone a bit green from the last play-doh accident.

[quote StylishMummy]@BrumBoo because I make my children eat sitting down at a table I must be the worst mother in the world. To a PP who likened pens to guns, did you miss where my DC have crayons at all times?

Having small kids is not an excuse to live like stig of the dump. Hold the baby and wipe surfaces, get a baby carrier to contain baby while you clean, give the toddler an activity to do. I've been disabled and had 2 poorly DC with a 16m age gap and my house has been 'lived in' clean the entire time. [/quote]
Well done. Perhaps they'll give you a medal. Do they give medals for competitive parenting?

I disagree OP. It is possible to have nice things with small children. Yes it takes effort and thought into how you use your home and the different rooms in it but it is possible. I’m a cleaner and I visit lots of different homes. I go to two families where they each have 4 small children and their homes are gorgeous and well kept and it’s definitely not the sort of homes where the children are afraid to breathe. And no, they’re not just well kept because I clean them for two hours a week. I’m not saying it’s easy, it’s not. You have to be constantly on top of things so for some people it’s not worth it which is fine. But don’t say it’s not possible, it absolutely is.

@hatedbytheDailyMail

It's amaing how a bit of lighthearted moaning drawns all the 'well I only let my kids eat over the sink and follow them around with antibacterial wipes' lot in

Do stop with this nonsense. I wasn't lighthearted moaning and nobody is talking about being ridiculous about cleanliness. It's simply the fact that you don't have to have a filthy house covered in muck and stains just because you have children. Which I imagine you already know and actually agree with, so drop the act.

Sure thing. You're brilliant and have told us all what-for. And upset a mother with a young baby along the way. Good day for you, isn't it.

Yanbu. My "child" is now a young adult with disabilities Nd SN so its still the same as javing a younger kid. Although tbh dh is as bad - diffefence being dc cant alwaus help it, dh could.

Do they give medals for competitive parenting?

Do they give medals for sneering and sniping at someone who does things differently?

And fwiw both the families I clean for have at least one DC with SN so their plates are already very full.

I’m not massively fussed about keeping things spotless: a house is for living in. We only redecorated when my son was 4. But for some very odd reason apart from being a messy eater, he’s not been a destructive child at all: never shown any inclination to write on walls / furniture etc (this isn’t a stealth brag: he’s just not that interested in writing)
But my dog... that’s another story: when she was a pup she chewed everything and ruined our carpets: reckon she caused about 2k of damage in her first year.

Judgemental sod
It’s not judgemental to point out that normal people don’t just drop dirty nappies on the floor. We bag them up and put them in the bin. It’s actually shocking that you think this is normal and acceptable!

And upset a mother with a young baby along the way. Good day for you, isn't it.

I've upset her because she chose to tell the entire world about her house and is completely surprised that someone actually commented back to her, pointing out that she was entirely wrong in her point that every parents house is the same?
And did the other people who commented upset her too or is it just me?
Get a grip, fgs.

@JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority

And fwiw both the families I clean for have at least one DC with SN so their plates are already very full.

And they're lucky to be able to afford you, to help keep the house nice. Not everyone has the funds.

But you have happy carefree untroubled messy little children and they are nice things

I used to prep tea each am , whilst they were less tired. We wd then tidy up a bit then go out . You cant make a mess when you are out. Let them get dirtyand let of steam . Then back for nap . Then lunch or lunch out . I wd then have a rest myself and a quick clean round. We wd then watch tv . Then play . Then snack at table . Tidy as go.then something like craft or messing in the garden . When dh came home i made tea and he watched them . Tv after tea . Relaxing
Bath with lav oil. Bed . I am naturally a disorganised person . Sticking to this were poss helped a lot and limited wear and tear .. in theory! 😂

Mine a a little older now and I have only recently put nice wedidgns gifts on display. Before that I did have some nice stuff. But I used throws on the sofa and we have tiled or wooden floor which I wash regularly. Stuff like playdoh and paint we use but at a small table and I clean up afterwards. A home is meant to be lived in. I don't let them competely wreck the place but they make a mess and it doesn't take long to clean.

Throw s on all sofas in day. Washable everything . Toys away at night .. wine

I kept my Italian leather sofa in pretty good nick, despite my children's best efforts. They weren't allowed to brum their cars over it, or go on it without socks (scratchy toenails). Food was always eaten at the table, or on the floor on a picnic blanket. Art/playdo etc was done at the table, on an oilcloth. The occasional drink was spilled, but quickly wiped up and I religiously polished and conditioned that sofa to keep it in good condition.

The children older now, so I don't have to be so vigilant when they're on the sofa. Sadly I'm older too, which is why I had a huge period-leak right in the middle of one of the cushions the other day and ruined the bastard .

@hatedbytheDailyMail I'm not the one who needs to 'get a grip' here. There's disagreeing with an post and there's sticking the boot in. Between this and the bollocks 'I saw a fatty feed her kid chocolate' thread today, MN seem extra determined to be as judgemental as possible this afternoon.

And they're lucky to be able to afford you, to help keep the house nice. Not everyone has the funds.

Their funds to pay me aren’t what is keeping their houses in good shape without damaged walls/sofas/tables etc. They were already keeping their houses well before I came and continue to do it outside of my visits. I don’t have time In two hours to scrub walls or sofas. I don’t repair damage to tables or doors. These are well kept homes that I come to once a week and do a clean of kitchen, bathrooms, dusting and floors. There isn’t deep cleaning happening. It’s maintenance cleaning. I’ve also been in homes that aren’t well kept and done the same maintenance cleaning and believe me- you can tell the difference between which are well kept homes and which aren’t even after I’ve been.

So let’s not pretend it’s anything to do with having the funds to pay a cleaner.

Children just need teaching to respect their home. Messy toys etc isn't a problem but drawing on walls and furniture is totally unacceptable. The only way a young child would be able to do that surely is by having access to pens, crayons etc but having no adult supervision? I can't see anyone just sitting there watching their child scrawling all over the wall so where is the adult when the child is doing that? If the adult was there surely they would stop the child doing that and explain why it's unacceptable.