To have nothing nice

[Givemethechocolate]

Aibu to think you just can't have anything nice when you have young children.
My sofa has stains all over it, crumbs everywhere. Playdoh in the carpet. Pen on the wooden table. Stuff knocked over and stained. Clothes ruined from stains. No matter how many times I say please he careful, it's not listened to. I know my DS doesn't mean to do it on purpose but it's just annoying when you pay for things and eventually they get ruined.
Anyone else feel the same?

Mine are 7, 5 and 2 (and I have a dog). I’m not fussy or anal but my house isn’t trashed. Food is eaten at the table, pens and crafts etc are used at the table then put away. It isn’t joyless, i thought it was normal!
It’s not spotless, but it’s generally clean and tidy. I do think in most cases children can be taught to respect their surroundings.
Pretty sure my kids don’t feel like they live in a museum. They play with toys, games, do loads of crafts, playdoh, painting, baking, play with kinetic sand etc. We just tidy it up afterwards.

Didn’t have anything like that are we always had arts and crafts around

Plastic mat for playdough, pens only in certain areas, no stains in the house and clothes may have got stained through food but that’s it.

@BlueSoop

My god its 2am!! Of course I put them in the bin in the morning. They arent lying around for days! I said it was from the night feed. Christ alive you people. You said there were dirty nappies from the night feed lying on the floor. Not bagged up in the bathroom. Not in the kitchen bin. On the FLOOR. Along with your clothes apparently 😳

Yes. They are bagged up on the floor at 2am (and 12am, and 4am, and whatever other ungodly hour my baby wakes at) when I chuck them to one side in the desperate hope my 3 month old wont scream any louder and wake my 2 year old, and then in the morning I put them in the bin. And yes my clothes are on the floor because at 11pm after the final feed before bed I am not dragging all my loud drawers out to put my jumper/jeans away. Also, I am usually running on complete empty after solo parenting for 11 hours and being up since 6am with my 2 year old after 4 hours sleep and it's usually pitch black as DH is asleep.

Like, have you people actually had babies? How is this a shocking concept to you. Let me guess, your kids never woke, they were feeding themselves by month 2 and wiping their own arses by month 4. Oh, and they always put their toys away straight after using them.

This is mumsnet right?

Yes. They are bagged up on the floor at 2am (and 12am, and 4am, and whatever other ungodly hour my baby wakes at) when I chuck them to one side in the desperate hope my 3 month old wont scream any louder and wake my 2 year old, and then in the morning I put them in the bin. And yes my clothes are on the floor because at 11pm after the final feed before bed I am not dragging all my loud drawers out to put my jumper/jeans away.

Put a Bin in the room for the nappies? And a chair or hook for your clothes to sit on. It will take the untidy look off the place and takes no extra energy than what you’re doing currently.

Our house looked awful when my children were small.
Stains everywhere, mess everywhere, a child that just wouldn't settle, sleep or play quietly. I tried so hard but it felt like one step forward and two steps back, every single day.

My children are in their twenties now. It will get better and eventually things get replaced and the damage lessens.
Our house is pretty ok now but I still have the coffee table that my children ate around on their little chairs, replete with ink stains, paint stains , food stains etc... I've stripped it and re varnished it. Most stains have gone but a few remain.
It also has their teeth marks from when they were teething. Can't bear to part with it.

@TwirpingBird I just wanted to say that, although I posted saying I don’t think things need to be damaged when you have kids, your post reminded me of how my house was a year ago when I’d just had my second DC; I was too tired and busy with a small baby and toddler DD to keep everything clean and tidy. When I did have 10 minutes I needed to give DD attention rather than decide to clean and I’ve never worked out how to clean effectively with a baby in a sling as has been suggested.

Like, have you people actually had babies? How is this a shocking concept to you. Let me guess, your kids never woke, they were feeding themselves by month 2 and wiping their own arses by month 4. Oh, and they always put their toys away straight after using them

Yes. 5 of them. One with additional needs. Having babies doesn't mean living in a house with shitty nappies on the floor, puke stains everywhere and clothes and everything else on the floor!

We live in a small 2 bedroom bungalow. The dining table is in the living room and all crafts are done up there. We have a cupboard where all his toys go in the living room.
I just know if I were to buy nice expensive furniture it would get bumped into. Things put on it, sticky mitts smeared on it.
It's just a bit relentless atm, hoping it improves as he gets older

Play-doh, paint , food doesn't go in the sitting room, or any room where there is a carpet. If you don't have a room without carpet, get a plastic carpet protector/ plastic table cloth and put it down before any mucky stuff is allowed out. Use newspaper or another plastic cloth to cover the table.
Mine were allowed to paint in the kitchen sitting on the floor, or in the bathroom. Or the garden.

@warmeduppizza

I grew up in a house full of antique furniture and fragile glassware. I was a good child. Nothing ever got broken. Except for me. I’m now a very anxious adult who takes up the absolute minimum amount of space and is scared to breathe.

OP I'm not sure what's up with people today.

Mine never drew on walls but they did seem to be messy. Still are. The amount if stuff they accumulate can be insane. I seem to have three toy cars in the bathroom permanently. No matter how often I move them back!

Yep. My ‘nice’white laptop got scribbled on today. And my ‘nice’ sideboard, one of the only things we’ve bought new because we really liked it also got scribbled on. The toddler monster found a pencil while I was homeschooling (nagging) the older ones....

No unsupervised access to pens?! I’ve clearly been doing this all so wrong...🤣

My most prolific wall-drawer favoured pencil anyway, because it was less likely to get noticed. Often wrote the initial of his brother’s name too, as some form of misdirection...🤣

Wouldn’t swap all the show homes in the world for discovering previously unnoticed doodles from my children...

@FitterHappierMoreProductive

My most prolific wall-drawer favoured pencil anyway, because it was less likely to get noticed. Often wrote the initial of his brother’s name too, as some form of misdirection...🤣

Wouldn’t swap all the show homes in the world for discovering previously unnoticed doodles from my children...

My sister wrote the lyrics of “oh, happy day” on our landing wallpaper and then the day after she was bollocked for it (she denied it) she wrote “Jackie weaver wrote this” under it and then called my mum to show her that she had missed “my” confession signed under it when she saw it the day before

You see @JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority free access to writing implements is the stuff lifelong family anecdotes are made of! 🤣

I bought a fabric sofa when my youngest turned 2. I have regretted it daily.

It's just a bit relentless atm, hoping it improves as he gets older

It does get better. When I was expecting my first I visited a friend who had just moved into a house which had a black/brown/green/red/yellow speckled carpet in the sitting room. It was hideous but friend, pregnant with her third, told me they had no plans to change it until youngest child was past the messy phase.

I remember being quite surprised. A few years later with my own clutch of preschoolers I knew how wise she had been

Some of the tips here around washable covers, storage are well worth exploring. Also if you can keep one room, even a bedroom as mostly childfree and tidier then it feels more under control. Keeping all messy toys/crafts in one room (the garden in Summer) also helps if its manageable. Don't buy expensive stuff for rooms used by small children.

Its basically about small wins, keeping your sanity, and accepting that most families don't have multiroom mansions and have to drop standards for a few years. The showhomes are the unusual homes at this stage.

@StylishMummy

I have 2 under 5s and my house is 'nice', we have play dough, crafts and colouring pens etc put away away and we get them out at their colouring table. They can have pencils and colouring books at any time, this is constantly available. All meals/snacks need to be eaten sat down rather than while playing - which means mess is contained.

I also get DC to help with cleaning. Each kallax box holds a 'type' of toy, such as Lego, Schleich animals etc, and we encourage them to tidy away when they're finished with an activity. We have a playroom with cream sofas and pale grey rug which are both immaculate still.

Friends who allow their DC to eat while playing seem to have far more problems with mess. I'd be furious with playdough in the rug or on the sofa, it's not necessary for them to play that way

This. My kids did, and still do, anything potentially messy at the dining room table. Which has a wipe clean tablecloth on. Playdoh, paints, kinetic sand is kept in a childlocked cupboard which I get out when they ask. It's no longer locked and eldest can potentially go and get paints himself but still asks permission. (Touches wood). Youngest did write on a wall the other day but he got told off and redirected to the whiteboard.

Thanks @Kdubs1981!

I hope your OK op. And so are the other people who are struggling.

I have days where my house is totally trashed and feels hopeless. But I also have days where its reasonably tidy. During lock down we have just been keeping it ticking over.

We don't have a dinning room or kitchen that we can eat in. And can't fit a table in the living room. So we do eat on the sofa.

I have leather sofas and laminated flooring So they can be wiped over. If I did not have this the carpet and sofa would be awful. I also made sure we use paint and wallpaper that can be wiped. I have storage in the living room that I can just throw the kids toys in. Having a bin in the living room helps alot. When it's been a bad day or so. I sweep everything into the middle of the floor. Have a bin and a box plus toy box. And it gos into toys/bin/ and to be put away box.

Set boundaries

You do not have to let them use playdoh on the carpet. What about sitting up at the table or in their high chair? Or how about getting a large bit of carboard or mdf down on the carpet? or even buy a little kids table and chairs for crafts activities.

Same for the sofa. Why are you letting them eat or use things that will stain? Do this somewhere more appropriate

Kids are usually forgetful and clumsy to begin with. As a parent you need to plan your activities better and design out ways they have of making a mess. You will not succeed every time but it is fairly easy when you think ahead.

My ds is a budding artist, we have his sketches in a cute little folder. And on our walls, sofa and fridge!

Finally, an unexpected benefit to my reception age child struggling to hold a pencil/hating drawing - no scribbles on the walls! Just the endless worry that he’s never going to learn how to write.

Like, have you people actually had babies? How is this a shocking concept to you. Let me guess, your kids never woke, they were feeding themselves by month 2 and wiping their own arses by month 4. Oh, and they always put their toys away straight after using them

I’ve had 3 kids and I’ve never left a shitty nappy on the floor or let vomit sit long enough to stain. Revolting