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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have nothing nice

205 replies

Givemethechocolate · 24/02/2021 13:14

Aibu to think you just can't have anything nice when you have young children.
My sofa has stains all over it, crumbs everywhere. Playdoh in the carpet. Pen on the wooden table. Stuff knocked over and stained. Clothes ruined from stains. No matter how many times I say please he careful, it's not listened to. I know my DS doesn't mean to do it on purpose but it's just annoying when you pay for things and eventually they get ruined.
Anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:
FuckingFabulous · 25/02/2021 16:51

@hatedbytheDailyMail

I have nothing nice. At all. I just bought I knew cooker and I could weep for how fucked up I know it's going to get in this house

Honestly don't understand this....why is your cooked going to get "fucked up"? And how?
Bemused.

Everything gets broken or scratched in my house. It's like a brand new shiny thing has a magnet for disaster to befall it. I don't know why. It just does. My kids can void a guarantee before sundown.
DdraigGoch · 25/02/2021 16:52

even the adults in our house eat and drink at the dining table
You mean that you can't even have a glass of wine while watching TV?

hatedbytheDailyMail · 25/02/2021 16:55

Everything gets broken or scratched in my house. It's like a brand new shiny thing has a magnet for disaster to befall it. I don't know why. It just does. My kids can void a guarantee before sundown.

That's no way to live. I mean, do they just go around smashing and breaking things on purpose all the time?

MrBullinaChinaShop · 25/02/2021 17:06

@FuckingFabulous

I have nothing nice. At all. I just bought I knew cooker and I could weep for how fucked up I know it's going to get in this house
How does a cooker get fucked up?
MrBullinaChinaShop · 25/02/2021 17:09

I am actually very lazy, but I've found that being highly organised and tidy just makes everyone's life so much easier and smoother

Same here. The reason I am clean, tidy and organised is because I am lazy. Far easier to put everything back in the right place after using it than to spend hours sorting everything out when it becomes a tip. Easier to do playdoh at the kitchen table and clear it straight up afterwards than to pick it out of your carpet!

inappropriateraspberry · 25/02/2021 17:09

Reading all this I think it boils down to two different types of children. Those that are happy to break their toys, cut dolls hair etc, which then goes on to trashing other items in the house. And those that look after their toys and belongings, who wouldn't think about drawing on walls or sofas.
As a child, I didn't understand how some of my friends could happily wreck their stuff, but they did. As far as I know, they haven't grown into vandals but there is a level of respect for things that should be taught to children.

peaceanddove · 25/02/2021 17:18

@MrBullinaChinaShop

I am actually very lazy, but I've found that being highly organised and tidy just makes everyone's life so much easier and smoother

Same here. The reason I am clean, tidy and organised is because I am lazy. Far easier to put everything back in the right place after using it than to spend hours sorting everything out when it becomes a tip. Easier to do playdoh at the kitchen table and clear it straight up afterwards than to pick it out of your carpet!

Hell yeah. It's because I'm so lazy that I refused to waste precious lazing around time looking for lost keys, or hunting for clean uniform etc. Here, there is a place for everything, and everything has its place. Makes life infinitely easier.

I have a good friend, who I love dearly, but she lives in a constant state of muted chaos. At any given time in her house there can be a bike on the landing, a roller skate next to the bread bin and the bath full of books (the only clear space to put them when bookcases were being fitted).

I couldn't live like that, I would find it incredibly stressful and upsetting.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 25/02/2021 17:22

@inappropriateraspberry

Reading all this I think it boils down to two different types of children. Those that are happy to break their toys, cut dolls hair etc, which then goes on to trashing other items in the house. And those that look after their toys and belongings, who wouldn't think about drawing on walls or sofas. As a child, I didn't understand how some of my friends could happily wreck their stuff, but they did. As far as I know, they haven't grown into vandals but there is a level of respect for things that should be taught to children.
My best friend as a child is still my best friend now. I was always shocked that she used to do things like cut all her dolls hair off/draw on walls etc. I just would never have done it. We now have kids the same age and hers do the same sorts of things whereas mine wouldn’t dream of it! Wonder if it’s nature or nurture?
Tangledtresses · 25/02/2021 17:24

I thought my kids are bad at trashing the house.... then I got a dog 😱😱😱

hatedbytheDailyMail · 25/02/2021 17:27

Reading all this I think it boils down to two different types of children. Those that are happy to break their toys, cut dolls hair etc, which then goes on to trashing other items in the house. And those that look after their toys and belongings, who wouldn't think about drawing on walls or sofas

It only boils down to that if you let children behave like that! Children maybe be happy to break toys and then start wrecking the house, that's where parenting comes in.
One of mine was a wall drawer and toy smasher...but not for long, because I wouldn't accept that as normal behaviour.

inappropriateraspberry · 25/02/2021 17:28

@MrBullinaChinaShop I think it's nature, as my friend who completely wrecked everything had a VERY house-proud mum, it would probably be diagnosed as something these days. Cleaned all day, plate whipped away and it was washed as soon as you'd finished eating. Hoovered twice a day etc. Although maybe my friend's behaviour was a reaction to that, or maybe her mum had to work hard to clean up after her!?

FuckyouBrennan · 25/02/2021 17:30

I’m with @StylishMummy I have 3 DC under 8. One has SN. None of my children have ever stained furniture or carpets, nor have they drawn on walls. It’s not acceptable. They gave respect for things.
Meals are eaten at the table
Food is not taken upstairs - I am more lenient with DD 8, especially pre covid when she had friends round, but she knows dishes are brought down and rubbish is binned.
Colouring, play doh & painting is done at their table.

It’s about being organised and teaching them to respect theirs and other peoples things.

inappropriateraspberry · 25/02/2021 17:30

@hatedbytheDailyMail

Reading all this I think it boils down to two different types of children. Those that are happy to break their toys, cut dolls hair etc, which then goes on to trashing other items in the house. And those that look after their toys and belongings, who wouldn't think about drawing on walls or sofas

It only boils down to that if you let children behave like that! Children maybe be happy to break toys and then start wrecking the house, that's where parenting comes in.
One of mine was a wall drawer and toy smasher...but not for long, because I wouldn't accept that as normal behaviour.

I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't stop it, but some children are very determined to break and trash things. My children have both drawn on the wall once, and have learnt not to do it again. But they are in general well behaved and I feel that it is not I. Their nature to want to do it in the first place.
FuckyouBrennan · 25/02/2021 17:31

@hatedbytheDailyMail agree

hatedbytheDailyMail · 25/02/2021 17:35

I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't stop it, but some children are very determined to break and trash things

And you have to be determined to stop them! If you have the attitude like many on here that its just what they do and its normal, you're obviously not making the effort to stop them.

dingoesatemybaby · 25/02/2021 17:38

No you can't have nice things as a parent.

One day I will have a beautiful, tidy house with lovely expensive furniture and breakable ornaments. But I bet you anything I'll long for the days of ripped wallpaper, carpet stains and scribbles on the walls.

AtSwimTwoBerts · 25/02/2021 17:47

No you can't have nice things as a parent

That is simply not true. I, and millions upon millions of others, are parents and have nice things. It's incredibly strange to say its not possible when even on this thread multiple people have told you that they do.

But I bet you anything I'll long for the days of ripped wallpaper, carpet stains and scribbles on the walls

I have no idea why you would long for such an odd thing but you can scribble on your own walls and stain your own carpets if it makes you happy!

DottyFlossie · 25/02/2021 17:52

I agree with @StylishMummy.

JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority · 25/02/2021 18:05

@inappropriateraspberry

Reading all this I think it boils down to two different types of children. Those that are happy to break their toys, cut dolls hair etc, which then goes on to trashing other items in the house. And those that look after their toys and belongings, who wouldn't think about drawing on walls or sofas. As a child, I didn't understand how some of my friends could happily wreck their stuff, but they did. As far as I know, they haven't grown into vandals but there is a level of respect for things that should be taught to children.
It isn’t just types of children, as nice and easy as that would be to believe. The parenting style has the biggest impact here.
dingoesatemybaby · 25/02/2021 18:07

@AtSwimTwoBerts You missed the point of my post completely

AtSwimTwoBerts · 25/02/2021 18:10

I really didn't. I simply mocked it gently.

FuckyouBrennan · 25/02/2021 18:13

Why on earth do you let your children rip your wallpaper???
And there is nothing stopping you having a tidy house.

dingoesatemybaby · 25/02/2021 18:18

@FuckyouBrennan How would you suggest stopping at 18 month old from ripping the wallpaper in his bedroom in the middle of the night?

Genuine question, I really would like to know if you have a solution!!

AtSwimTwoBerts · 25/02/2021 18:21

How would you suggest stopping at 18 month old from ripping the wallpaper in his bedroom in the middle of the night?

Have him in a grobag in a cot where he can't get at the wallpaper, for a start. If your 18 month old is roaming freely in the middle of the night unsupervised, you have bigger problems than wallpaper anyway!

dingoesatemybaby · 25/02/2021 18:21

@AtSwimTwoBerts

I really didn't. I simply mocked it gently.
No you didn't. For starters, the first line was sarcasm.

I have nice things and a (mostly) tidy house (except for toddler's bedroom wallpaper Angry)