Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

Jesus and these people are supposed to be your family?!

Agree with others - delete and block! Awful.

AprilX she hasn't mentioned her daughter's medical condition, only that she has round the clock caring duties for her so I don't know how you have come to the conclusion the child is 'obviously is tat close to zero risk' and her DH is being vaccinated because of a heart condition, NOT ADHD.

@korawick12345

I don’t know why you felt the need to broadcast that you have had the jab. By putting it on Facebook you are basically announcing that you are in a special category and then getting angry and defensive when people ask what that category is. ‘Pam’ sounds awful but the entire incident occurred because you felt the need to tell everyone that you are in group 6. I also think you have made an enormous leap to get from idiot to a reference to your partners Adhd

Yes. Having an underlying health condition is 'special'

How is posting about having a vaccine a fucking contentious issue?
Why are we pandering to cunts who begrudge people a vaccine that pretty much everyone will eventually get.
I’m fully delighted when anyone has it.
OP Pam is a cunt but you probably won’t change that by calling her out on it so I would save yourself the mental energy

Are people really so petty and vindictive and selfish that they can’t see a family member post that they’ve had the vaccine without being spiteful cunts about it? I’m hardly the world’s most empathetic and kindly person but I can hand on my heart say that if I saw any person on my Facebook timeline saying they’d had the vaccine, it would only generate positive feelings.

The world must be full of the most spectacular arseholes otherwise!

"actually Pam I have just seen being a fucking cunt may be a fast track route to the front. Now trot on and give them a ring"...

😂

@Aprilx

I think the rules are so broad that they do catch people they were maybe not supposed to. Because I am struggling to understand why you need it because you are a looking after a child, who obviously is at close to zero risk, and I am not sure why somebody needs it because of ADHD either. So perhaps you should not rub people’s noses in it by posting on Facebook, when they probably are at greater risk than you.

The OP said she has “round the clock caring responsibilities” so not just a child needing regular parenting a child with zero/low risk.

She also didn’t say her husband got it for having ADHD, but because he has an underlying condition.

Perhaps if you actually read the posts before posting snooty replies you’d understand them better.

OP’a done nothing wrong, you can’t live your life not doing/saying anything because someone else acts like twat because of it.

That person would be blocked on all SM and in my real life.

Don't be like Pam. Pam is a nasty, entitled, judgemental, ignorant cow.

I agree with the posters that you should say something - dont let it fester or put up with this bad behaviour. I would keep it very factual though - like, 'we are in group 6, take it up with the government if you have a problem with that, and what a very unpleasant way to respond to my post.'

My response would probably have been along the lines of Fuck right off the lot of you. Nasty, thoughtless bastards.

Then I would turn of notifications and block them all.

'I had no idea you held such hatred for your own family, Pam. Noted.'

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry "

Saving this for when I'll need it.

Yes I would block her and never speak to her again.

Nobody needs Pam.

Sorry this happened to you.

'Actually Pam if being a nasty bitch entitled you to a vaccination you'd have been at the top of the list.' Then block. Not sure why you need to keep the peace, sometimes you need to be honest with peoples unacceptable bullying behaviour. I can't imagine you'll be doing much socialising with her in the future anyway.

I can’t understand people feeling resentment towards those more in need of a vaccine getting one before them. I don’t feel resentful every time I see someone with a blue badge. There is a reason the vaccine order is the way it is.

Completely agree.The more people vaccinated the more unvaccinated are protected, from spread and nhs capacity.

Voices of sanity, thank you, I was worried the whole world was losing its mind.

It really is best not to notify people on FB about your vaccination.

If you do then be prepared to have to go into the reason why (as for example with your husband- and this might have been private up to now).

Part of the problem with FB is this kind of broadcasting, and the reaction of those with a grudge to the news you have made public.

So next time.....Silence pays.

"Pam" has been vile- cut her and any of her more vociferous supporters, out of your life WITHOUT further explanation or attempting to justify your action.

And all the best for a healthy and safe life for you and your husband and family!

@Aprilx

I think the rules are so broad that they do catch people they were maybe not supposed to. Because I am struggling to understand why you need it because you are a looking after a child, who obviously is at close to zero risk, and I am not sure why somebody needs it because of ADHD either. So perhaps you should not rub people’s noses in it by posting on Facebook, when they probably are at greater risk than you.

Is that you Pam?

I know a few people who have been called in error - but the effort it will cause the system to work out what has happened, remove the appointment, put the person back on the list, and then reschedule the appointment down the line is greater than that person just having the vaccine.

@FuckingFabulous these people sound hideous. Just because they are relatives, doesn't mean you need to stay in touch with them.

Block them!

@Aprilx

I think the rules are so broad that they do catch people they were maybe not supposed to. Because I am struggling to understand why you need it because you are a looking after a child, who obviously is at close to zero risk, and I am not sure why somebody needs it because of ADHD either. So perhaps you should not rub people’s noses in it by posting on Facebook, when they probably are at greater risk than you.

Ops child has complex medical needs so the "she probably won't die cos other kids do" doesn't work. virtually all the children who have died have underlying medical issues. My child is more at risk due to his heart and lung conditions than his best friend who is healthy.

Not to mention that if OP and her DH gets it and is unable to care for their child, it isn't as simple as another relative simply stepping in BECAUSE OF THE COMPLEX CARE NEEDS. For us they are physical - doing feeds via gastrostomy, medication, O2 being administered etc. For my friends is because with severe autism, the child wouldn't cope with new care givers.

If you think me saying I got the vaccine is running your nose in it, I assume you're also jealous of the number of times I signed paperwork for surgeons for DS, the appointments that pervaded the first three years significantly and are still a big part of his life, the times I didn't know of he would come home alive.

And if you read the ops posts, he didn't get it for ADHD, he has another medical issue which makes him vulnerable. Plus he's a carer for their child. Pam picked up in the Adhd to fling nasty ignorant comments at the DH.

@LouJ85

"actually Pam I have just seen being a fucking cunt may be a fast track route to the front. Now trot on and give them a ring"...

😂

Love this. Also: best bit about pandemic - it’s easier to spot nasty mouthed bastards and block them. Pam and covid free future, here I come.

Send her a message telling her to fuck off and then block .

I think that there’s lots of this at the moment. People are frightened, cross that they haven’t had their invite and angry with everyone. Sorry this has happened to you OP.

Did you Block them all OP ?

I personally have zero resentment or jealousy towards those getting the vaccination - but I’m not remotely concerned about catching Covid, nor do I have any vulnerable caring responsibilities. But it’s easy to see (if only from MN) that many people are very anxiously waiting. So whilst yes it’s up to OP what she posts, broadcasting she has had it is a little different to your normal ‘this is what I’m up to’ type status. Doesn’t excuse Pam’s behaviour of course - block for sure.