Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

I’d go no contact with someone who was so disparaging; no one needs toxicity like that in their lives.

@Aprilx

I think the rules are so broad that they do catch people they were maybe not supposed to. Because I am struggling to understand why you need it because you are a looking after a child, who obviously is at close to zero risk, and I am not sure why somebody needs it because of ADHD either. So perhaps you should not rub people’s noses in it by posting on Facebook, when they probably are at greater risk than you.

Again, as you’ve clearly not RTFT, ADHD is not her husbands qualifying condition.

I wouldn’t even message her I’d reply directly to her public comment. She’s tried to embarrass you on the public link you shared so she doesn’t deserve to be called a knob in private tbh. Shame her!

Just delete her off your Facebook. What is this obsession with having all and sundry, and especially people you don't get on with on your FB. Best thing I ever did was delete my Facebook about 8 years ago and have conversations in real life with people I actually like

@LesLavandes

Why did you name her'Pam'?

Because I had a Pam Ayers book right next to me. Not because her name is Pam or because I'm having a dig at people called Pam.

Post a link to this thread so she can see how vile people think she is, block her, and pour a nice ginor tea.
Life’s too short to be dealing with ignorant spite like hers.

I think I would have had to reply with words to the effect of pretty much what your post title is to be honest. Life’s too short to pretend to be nice and polite to ignorant nasty arseholes, just because you might be related to them. Honestly, as soon as you realise that life becomes a lot less stressful. They write this shit because they know the people they post it to are too nice to fight back.

And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?

@FuckingFabulous It sounds like she's forgotten your DP's physical condition that puts him inn an at risk group.

Either way, she's a bellend. You aren't the one making the rules, and they're placed on people's level of risk.

I also think most of us wouldn'tve thought having the jab was something we should hide. I can see why now PP's have said, but I wouldn'tve expected people to be that way.

Why did you name her'Pam'?

Because I had a Pam Ayers book right next to me

I love that that's all someone took from this. Like the only relevant thing is the random name you picked. If you'd called her Susan then she'd have been unreasonable but I have an Aunty Pam and she's lovely so you're wrong

'DH has ADAH, however if being an idiot or a cunt was a reason, you dear Pam and older relative, would of been first in line'

@cuddlymunchkin

You're showing off about having the vaccine. You must have known it would rile other people. Why boast?

@Aprilx

I think the rules are so broad that they do catch people they were maybe not supposed to. Because I am struggling to understand why you need it because you are a looking after a child, who obviously is at close to zero risk, and I am not sure why somebody needs it because of ADHD either. So perhaps you should not rub people’s noses in it by posting on Facebook, when they probably are at greater risk than you.

Just thought I'd tell you. Me and DH had our covid vaccinations last week.

No underlying illnesses. We are in our mid 50s.

I don't question it, (as the Medical Practice obviously have their own system,) and no WAY were we going to refuse it.

Why would I? Just because someone in another county has not been offered the vaccination, (who is older than me, and may have an underlying condition,) that doesn't mean that me and DH are going to turn it down.

It's a dangerous illness, and has been killing younger people without underlying conditions, so like hell were we going to turn it down. Nobody would, just because others (who are older than them, and seemingly more vulnerable,) have not been getting it

Why did you advertise getting the jab? What did you expect to achieve? You must have known that if you keep your husband's condition a secret then people would speculate as to why he qualified for one so early on. So yes, let people know if you want to but have a bit of sense and make it clear why.

You could have saved yourself a whole lot of bother if you hadn't felt the need to brag about it on FB.

@adeleh

Post a link to this thread so she can see how vile people think she is, block her, and pour a nice ginor tea. Life’s too short to be dealing with ignorant spite like hers.

Yes because that will work wonders for family harmony won't it.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry "

Love

I had mine early because of my job and found the most sensible thing to do with Facebook is just to keep quiet. It particularly annoyed me when people started updating their profile pics with those “I’ve had mine” banners. Just why?

Wow Pam is delight isn’t she! I would give it to her with both barrels as well as her supporters. They were vile, judgey and insensitive. I think some people get to an age where they think they can’t be challenged and have a white card to say what the fuck they like to everyone. Then get annoyed if they are challenged and a debate is started. I sometimes have this issue with my mother

@cuddlymunchkin

You're showing off about having the vaccine. You must have known it would rile other people. Why boast?

Showing off about the vaccine?

I'd rather my dad was healthy and not dying aged 54. Rather my kids get to grow up with their grandad around than have the fucking vaccine but that's not the hand I've been dealt unfortunately.

Ah but @littlepattilou did you put a FB post up to boast about it to the world? That is the difference.

@Rillington

Why did you need to broadcast that you had, had the vaccine?

Honestly, why the hell not? Everyone is grateful and everyone who wants the vaccine or has the vaccine is vocal about it. It's not like I should be keeping it like a little secret. I'm absolutely thrilled to be able to have it and not panic anymore that DH or I will catch it and him end up on a ventilator or that DD will end up with nobody to look after her needs. The article was about how we're doing well and how anyone who can be vaccinated should be and ought to book in as soon as they get the invitations and not to delay. I said "I agree with this. DH will be this morning and me later this week. Impressed with the speed of the rollout, looks like everyone will be getting their first vaccine by summer!"

Ugh tell the lot of them to fuck off and then block them all

I'd message Pam and say didn't realise we'd have to deal with two pricks today - my DHs jab and you! I'd then just block her and all the others who jumped on her shaming wagon

Whilst she's entitled to her opinion she didn't need to go about it in that way. It's not like you control the order people get called in.

Pam is a grade A knob job.

@LaurieFairyCake

Is ADHD on the list of underlying health conditions ? I've googled the list and can't see it

I have 3 people to tell who would be delighted

No. I said that it isn't even the reason he was offered the vaccine. He has a respiratory condition due to damage from an incident many years ago.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry "

I am so tempted

And the whole, "its my opinion, everyone's entitled to one", thing drives me mad. What a totally worthless response

My response to "it's my opinion" is that opinions are like arseholes. Everyone's got one, and your arsehole is something I really don't need to know about.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal absolutely nailed it.

As for your mum - blood is thicker than water, Pam is thicker than both. Bullying is unacceptable. End of.

I'm seeing a variety of friends and family members posting on Facebook that they've been offered the vaccine, that they've had the vaccine, and I'm nothing short of delighted for all of them. Unless someone has shoved you out of the way and put their own arm in front of the needle at the last possible second then they haven't done anything to change when you'll get offered the vaccine, being bitchy about it just exposes a nasty side of your character that spends its time looking for reasons to be crappy to people.