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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Sciurus83 · 24/02/2021 13:03

GreeboIsmyspiritanimal

GrinGrin

Oh please post that OP!

Chloemol · 24/02/2021 13:03

I would comment publicly that you are extreme,y disappointed in Pam’s comments as she is fully aware of the background. That you are very upset with family members and their comments and that as they obviously do not care about you or your family it’s made it very easy for you to cease all contact with them forthwith until they have the decency to apologise for their extremely upsetting comments. Then block

Snowymcsnowsony · 24/02/2021 13:03

"actually Pam I have just seen being a fucking cunt may be a fast track route to the front. Now trot on and give them a ring"...

MyGazeboisLeaking · 24/02/2021 13:04

OP - 'Pam' is an absolute twat but you've brought this on yourself.

People are desperate for the vaccine and publicly stating you / your husband has had it when you know that your wider family don't know about his conditions is just asking for resentment.

You should have kept it to yourself, not a potentially 'well done NHS'.

*ive also had the vaccine early because of DD. Haven't told anyone.

Roszie · 24/02/2021 13:04

Just block them all.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 24/02/2021 13:04

Pam sounds like a fucking moron

AliceMcK · 24/02/2021 13:05

I’d personally respond with “my husbands health conditions are none of your business, I’m glad I’ve never told you about them given how nasty and vindictive you are now being. As for me, you know full well I have caring responsibility’s for my DD, I know it’s not something you could ever comprehend given your lack of caring for your own DD while recovering from surgery, so I won’t even go into explaining why that makes my vaccination priority more important than yours. As for you being able to say what you want because it’s still a free country. I totally agree with you which is why I’m saying as it is as far as you are concerned. I’m also going to now block you because even though it’s still a free country that dose not mean myself or anyone else needs to live with your toxicity.”

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 24/02/2021 13:05

She didn't lie, she advertised it.

GabsAlot · 24/02/2021 13:07

tell her to fuck off then block her-and dont go to any family gatherings when shes there

utter bellend

LDpuppy · 24/02/2021 13:07

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry Sad"
This, definitely this!
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 24/02/2021 13:07

Maybe I’m in a minority but I love seeing posts on Facebook that people have had the vaccine, or getting updates that friends or family have had it. It makes me feel one step closer to a) my turn and b) normality.

Anyway, block Pam or if you can’t, amend your privacy settings so she no longer sees anything you post. Greebo’s response is perfect.

MyGazeboisLeaking · 24/02/2021 13:07

@SleepingStandingUp - the OP has doesn't need to encourage these people to have the vaccine - the ones who are resentful WANT it and are upset because they are still a way down the list.

Morgan12 · 24/02/2021 13:07

Oh I'd be replying for sure. What a bitch.

'It's a pity being a cunt isn't one the reasons for the vaccine Pam or you would have had yours already'

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 24/02/2021 13:07

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry Sad"
Ooooh I would love for you to do this! Bet it’s tempting!
pinkearedcow · 24/02/2021 13:08

I just wouldn't bother with any of them ever again, either on FB or in real life. They have shown who they are, a bunch of nasty bullies.

MangoBiscuit · 24/02/2021 13:09

Your self-restraint is applaudable OP, I would have been hard pushed not to shoot back with "Clearly being a gigantic cunt isn't a listed condition either, or you'd have been the first vaccinated!" horrible bloody woman.

As other, far more sensible posters have said, block her. I would also totally blank her in RL too, and refuse to speak to her at any gatherings, or to invite her to anything I was planning. She can fuck off with her cronies.

krustykittens · 24/02/2021 13:09

Pam and her acolytes are a vile bunch of cunts, I would block them after ripping them a new one. You are right, OP, why should your feelings be the only ones that don't matter. People like Pam keep getting away with being vile because they are never confronted. Don't feel bad about talking about the jab on FB, either. I agree with a PP that it makes it more normal and encourages more people to get it, but also, it makes me happy to see friends and family getting vaccinated. I feel like one by one, everyone I care about is reaching a place of safety.

Loudhouse · 24/02/2021 13:10

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal
GrinGrinGrin
👏👏👏

IReallyNeedMoreGin · 24/02/2021 13:11

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry Sad"
Vicious.

I like it! 😂

Grimbelina · 24/02/2021 13:11

"actually Pam I have just seen being a fucking cunt may be a fast track route to the front. Now trot on and give them a ring"...

This^ (genius!).

Why would you have anything more to do with the lot of them! Sod 'bad feeling'... life is too short!

TitusPullo · 24/02/2021 13:11

@GingerAndTheBiscuits - I agree, I feel it is a cause for celebration each time one more person is vaccinated. It’s nothing like taking antibiotics.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal - brilliant Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 24/02/2021 13:11

[quote MyGazeboisLeaking]@SleepingStandingUp - the OP has doesn't need to encourage these people to have the vaccine - the ones who are resentful WANT it and are upset because they are still a way down the list.

[/quote]
I meant in general. It's not like she's posted Hey Pam, just to let you know.... In general the more people do something and people know they're doing it the more acceptable it is.

And why should op have to NOT say something she wants to because we have to assume there's an ignorant / thick person out there who can't cope with not feeling special?

Pulledamonica · 24/02/2021 13:11

I genuinely would tell her to fuck off. Get rid of her and the others from your Facebook. They've shown you what they think of you - now it's your turn to do the same.

PheasantPlucker1 · 24/02/2021 13:12

Please PLEASE reply with what Greobells said.

Then block her!

LizzieBirmingham · 24/02/2021 13:13

Sorry that your relatives are cunts Flowers don’t get drawn into the bun fight - just block them all.

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