Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

You're showing off about having the vaccine. You must have known it would rile other people. Why boast?

I don't understand the people on here telling her she shouldn't tell people she's had it, crazy! What don't tell people just in case they're twats and give you grief. Good way to sort out those who should be in your life and those that shouldn't IMO. Several family members have had theirs done, I'm glad and relieved for them because I love them. Imagine being upset that a member of your FAMILY has been given protection against this awful illness 🤷🤷🤷

She was awful I agree, but I also agree that posting about getting the vaccine wasn’t a good idea. It’s a medical procedure not something to be congratulated on and yes, some people who are desperate for it will be jealous and may react. Especially if they don’t know the reasons why you both qualify before them. No, it’s none of her business (your medical status) but by publicly posting you’ve arguably made it everyone’s business. But I’m someone who only uses FB v occasionally (for closed sports groups mainly) and wouldn’t dream of tagging myself at a vaccination appointment/creating a status about it, which will naturally affect my view of your post.

Covid has sent everyone mad. Op you were eligible for the jab and you took it - good for you! The more people who have it the better.

I am similar. I am having it soon hopefully as a carer to my autistic son. I know I will probably face judgment but I’m just not going to tell anyone.

Maybe it was best kept to yourself. Not because you shouldn’t talk about it but just because your relative is an ass.

@Hobbesmanc

You know as upsetting as this is- maybe people should just keep quiet about their vaccination status. It's a contentious issue and there's really no need to share.

Pam sounds like a total cow bag though

This exactly! Not actually sure why getting a vaccination is FB/SM worthy news. It's not like it gives you any privileges or rights over and above the rest of society.

I'm sorry your family are a bunch of fuckwits However, you opened yourself up to this, so You either need to forget it, block them and move on or challenge their behaviour and then block the fuckwits and move on. In future maybe keep medical stuff off FB/SM.

I am furious on your behalf OP - how dare she talk about you and your husband like this? If it was me I would have to say something to her, or it would annoy me forever. Pam is behaving like a f-ing c.

I wish you didn't delete the thread op. You should have aired her dirty laundry about her parenting. I think you've been too polite. You should have said along the lines "Pam from small Margate thinks she's more intelligent and better than the scientific advisors and gov who have categorised the vaccine programme to protect the vulnerable first. I'm deleting you Pam, because 1) your a shitty relative who doesn't even know my DH's and child's condition and 2) that your a fucking cow. You are entitled to your own opinion on your own page, now you can fuck right off of mine."

For some person to have the audacity to even comment on my page like that deserves no politeness from me.

I would be inclined to post a big rant about how pam should know better, and what an awful thing it is to say these things about her Own relatives. each area is churning through the list at a different rate. She will get hers when it’s her time, no one is able to “jump the queue” it’s done on eligibility and it’s in everyone’s benefit to vaccinate everyone as quickly as possible. So your vaccine helps protect her.

@MyGazeboisLeaking

OP - 'Pam' is an absolute twat but you've brought this on yourself.

People are desperate for the vaccine and publicly stating you / your husband has had it when you know that your wider family don't know about his conditions is just asking for resentment.

You should have kept it to yourself, not a potentially 'well done NHS'.

*ive also had the vaccine early because of DD. Haven't told anyone.

No she hasn’t. All she did was post that she and her husband are due to be vaccinated soon/have had the vaccine and dickhead Pam was a rude nasty bollocks to her on her own fb page and some other knuckle dragging relatives started being cunts too. No one deserves to be bullied that way about their caring responsibilities or their partners health or disabilities.

A friend of mine posted that she’s had hers not a single reply was negative so I don’t think it’s a given that this is a sensitive subject for many, just a select few who are nasty fuckers.

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?

That's a ridiculous thing to say. It could be anything at all, right up to cancer.

Just block every last one of them and don't go anywhere where she's going to be ever again.

@cuddlymunchkin

You're showing off about having the vaccine. You must have known it would rile other people. Why boast?

Why are you rules by other people getting the vaccine on the basis it's done by vulnerability? Are you riled that you don't have an increased risk of death or hospitalisation due to Covid? Are you riled you're not working in one of the jobs considered high risk (full sympathy if you're a teacher, you should be in G6 at least), are you riled you're not a carer for someone who's medically vulnerable? No?

I can’t understand people feeling resentment towards those more in need of a vaccine getting one before them. I don’t feel resentful every time I see someone with a blue badge. There is a reason the vaccine order is the way it is.

@DontWannaBeObamasElf

If being an idiot is all it took to get a vaccine then Pam would have been the first to get it.

I think the rules are so broad that they do catch people they were maybe not supposed to. Because I am struggling to understand why you need it because you are a looking after a child, who obviously is at close to zero risk, and I am not sure why somebody needs it because of ADHD either. So perhaps you should not rub people’s noses in it by posting on Facebook, when they probably are at greater risk than you.

I would block Pam and others giving you a tough time. What a bitch she is op

Although I don't condone Pams behaviour at all, I'm not sure what response you hoped for when posting.

People are dying, people are scared, everyone is waiting for the vaccine and instead of just quietly getting it, and thanking your lucky stars you have, you announce on social media that you have the one thing everyone wants right now.

It was always going to cause resentment.

Regardless of that, Pam and her pals have said some unforgivable things and you should block them.

I’d block them. We’ve had similar- my stepdad’s parents were fuming when DH and I both got our jabs and they hadn’t had theirs yet. I’m a healthcare worker and my DH is a volunteer first responder for the ambulance service. Both of us in contact with covid patients regularly but apparently we should have turned down our vaccine and waited until later as we are young and fit and have PPE (an apron, gloves and surgical mask not the ff3 filter masks for even known positive patients). Well my Stepdad told them that he fully support us having it and was glad we did as he was worried his step grandson was going to left without parents or with parents with long covid. He told them they could continue to stay at home and wait their turn (they have since had their jab). Unfortunately some people are only concerned with themselves and cannot see the wider picture. I do get the concerns from those in the lower age groups who are working outside the home but age is not the only factor.

@Hobbesmanc

You know as upsetting as this is- maybe people should just keep quiet about their vaccination status. It's a contentious issue and there's really no need to share.

Pam sounds like a total cow bag though

This. 100%

I would probably be vicious and then get a bollocking off my mum

I wouldn't engage. Pam is being a bully and has a supportive audience, she appears to revel in being spiteful, responding will only give her more opportunities.

Having said that the suggestion from GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal is excellent and I would be very tempted to use it. You would have to accept this would burn bridges with the family bullies but this may not be a bad thing.

It's a great shame that so many people are trying to make vaccine priority a devisive issue when we are so close to light at the end of the tunnel.

It's not like it gives you any privileges or rights over and above the rest of society then it isn't bragging it showing off, it's just a statement about her day and as such there no reason to withhold the information

@Shoxfordian

Block Pam and anyone who liked her posts

Basically this

@TitusPullo

I can’t understand people feeling resentment towards those more in need of a vaccine getting one before them. I don’t feel resentful every time I see someone with a blue badge. There is a reason the vaccine order is the way it is.

Completely agree. The more people vaccinated the more unvaccinated are protected, from spread and nhs capacity.

@Aprilx - At least RTFOP in this case. The Op’s husband has an underlying condition AND ADHD. Their ADHD was used to called them an idiot, not the reason he had the vaccine. It also sounds as if the OP’s child also has underlying conditions that mean she needs round the clock care so one would assume she was then vulnerable to COVID. They aren’t just giving them to parents FFS.

Given that you clearly can't have any kind of intelligent exchange with Pam, I'd just leave them all to it.