To be too embarrassed and sick of asking DH for account access?

[Itchywitchy]

DH has lots of our finances in accounts in his name. Each month for admin purposes I like to go through everything and check everything's ticking along ok (it is important as I usually find something that DH has forgotten to cancel, etc). Every month I am filled with dread at having to ask for numerous passwords (yet again) because DH has changed them or even once I have the password, i then need to ask him again for a one time password that is sent to his phone He gets annoyed with me and I find it so embarrassing that I have to ask him for access all the time. AIBU?

@ChampagneWorries

Hsbc are the only bank to my knowledge that will allow you to be on the deeds but not the mortgage.

Lenders changed this on the deeds but not mortgage thing about 5-6 years ago

Yes but she can easily be on the mortgage.

@Bluntness100

Will the op be able to go on the mortgage though if she has a very low salary? Our salaries were the same when we got a mortgage so i ve no idea if the op would have to be earning a minimum amount to be on the mortgage?

www.sosmartmoney.co.uk/blog/how-do-i-add-my-partner-onto-the-mortgage/

www.landc.co.uk/insight/2014/11/adding-partners-or-spouses-onto-an-existing-mortgage/

If you’re remortgaging anyway, this can all be wrapped up together then. A good broker like London & Country (above) can give you all the details. You’ll need a solicitor but often for remortgaged this can come wrapped up in the deal from the lenders - you might need to pay a little more to add you to the deeds but it’s not much and well worth it.

Do you have a will and does your husband?

[quote ChampagneWorries]@Bluntness100

Will the op be able to go on the mortgage though if she has a very low salary? Our salaries were the same when we got a mortgage so i ve no idea if the op would have to be earning a minimum amount to be on the mortgage?[/quote]
A mortgage can be in joint names but based on one party's earnings. It's actually better for the lender to have 2 parties liable for the mortgage (debt). Both names need to be on the deeds (asset) though or she risks taking on liability for something she does not own.

[quote ChampagneWorries]@Bluntness100

Will the op be able to go on the mortgage though if she has a very low salary? Our salaries were the same when we got a mortgage so i ve no idea if the op would have to be earning a minimum amount to be on the mortgage?[/quote]
She doesn’t need to earn anything at all ever to be on the mortgage, it can be done on one spouses earnings onlyand the other is still on the mortgage and deeds. It’s perfectly normal. As explained my husband and I got our mortgage on this basis and plenty of stay at home parents have done the same and have posted on here to confirm.

She doesn’t need to earn anything at all ever to be on the mortgage, it can be done on one spouses earnings onlyand the other is still on the mortgage and deeds. It’s perfectly normal. As explained my husband and I got our mortgage on this basis and plenty of stay at home parents have done the same and have posted on here to confirm.

It’s not always that straightforward and certainly in the past some mortgage lenders will not have accepted a joint owner/sole mortgager arrangement so it’s not necessarily the case it was malicious in OP’s situation. The lending bank’s issue is that they’re securing the money on the house and entering into an agreement with the person named on the mortgage. If that person fails to pay, they can repossess the house to sell. Simple if the deeds match the mortgage. If the deeds say someone else has an interest in the property but isn’t named on the mortgage, that’s a barrier to them repossessing.

Maybe it was just financial naïveté in the past, maybe it was calculated, we just don’t know. But it’s definitely worth her sorting it out now and getting the ball rolling by investigating what to do to even it up.

Sorry - meant to say the reason some banks won’t accept a non-earning spouse on the mortgage is because they’re jointly and severally liable i.e. if the husband stops paying they want to know they can also pursue the wife - and some lenders want to know that the second mortgage holder is eligible in their own right wrt earnings. Some lenders will be OK with a non-earning spouse, some will not.

@Guidebutton

You need legal advice separate from your husband's which you should also have received when you signed the original consent to the mortgage. (The lender usually ensures this happens as if not, the consent is unenforceable).

There will be a cost and it will be less straight forward than just remortgaging as it is, but it's not "difficult" and you absolutely must make sure that it's done. He should want it to be done, to protect you too.

This.

You really need your own legal advice. As you are not short of money there’s no reason why you should not instruct your own solicitor straight away.

Get all your paperwork together and make an appointment. Take screenshots / photos of all the accounts, stocks and shares, insurance policies, mortgages, pensions.

Do NOT discuss any of this with your husband - what your lawyer says to you is confidential.

Maybe it was just financial naïveté in the past, maybe it was calculated, we just don’t know. But it’s definitely worth her sorting it out now and getting the ball rolling by investigating what to do to even it up.

Of course we know. Do you really think men up with complete control over family finances by mistake?

@Itchywitchy

Is it a big operation to get my name on the mortgage when we remortgage? Or is it a quick change? It's just that I know if it's too much hassle then he will say not to bother.

If you are remortgaging anyway then I would get added to the mortgage. There will be a credit search and an affordability check on both of you. Which is likely why the bank said to get it in 1 name only too begin with.

There is a lot of negative comments on here.

Only you know your other half and your relationship. I would recommend having a good financial overall. Start with mortgage then move to life cover, savings and investments and the bills.

Being married unfortunately doesn't protect you as you will inherit if your othe half dies, but if he falls ill you are in difficulties.( or if there is debt you could and prob will inherit this)

Don't panic. Talk to your other half tell him your concerns and worries. Explain what would make you feel more in control. Talk to a financial advisor or citizens advice.

It will be OK.

@NoSquirrels

Sorry - meant to say the reason some banks won’t accept a non-earning spouse on the mortgage is because they’re jointly and severally liable i.e. if the husband stops paying they want to know they can also pursue the wife - and some lenders want to know that the second mortgage holder is eligible in their own right wrt earnings. Some lenders will be OK with a non-earning spouse, some will not.

I’m sorry but you’re wrong. Thr property is the security, I can’t say how long ago you’re talking about, but In the last thirty years it’s been easy for all lenders and pretty much th norm for both spouses to be on. They don’t give a shit who pays, if no one does they just take the property and recoup their money. And the more people thr better,

I think you’re talking about unsecured loans, because what you’re saying is not accurate For spouses on a mortgage,

The loan and the deeds usually need to be in the same name. It's legally possible to be on one and not the other, but most lenders won't accept it for exactly this reason. They don't want to be in a position where the spouse claims to have been defrauded or mortgaged their home under duress.

The ownership of the house needs to be transferred into joint names, which is a straightforward thing for a solicitor to do.

Once joint owner, OP doesn't need an income to be a joint party to the mortgage, most lenders will insist she's party to the loan.

@NoSquirrels

Sorry - meant to say the reason some banks won’t accept a non-earning spouse on the mortgage is because they’re jointly and severally liable i.e. if the husband stops paying they want to know they can also pursue the wife - and some lenders want to know that the second mortgage holder is eligible in their own right wrt earnings. Some lenders will be OK with a non-earning spouse, some will not.

When I worked in a bank it was the exact opposite of this. We wouldn't lend to a married couple unless they were both named, because the nightmare scenario for a bank is for the mortgage to be in the husband's name but for the wife to be entitled to a share because it's a marital asset. They didn't care about the wife's earnings ultimately, the aim was to make sure that everyone who had any hope of making a claim to a share of the house was also liable for the debt.

It used to cause us no end of arguments with religious couples who insisted that a woman shouldn't be allowed any bank account in her own name.

Bluntness all I’m saying is that it’s straightforward IF the mortgage names & the deed names match. Then there’s no issue if the lender wants to repossess.

However if the mortgage and deed names don’t match, for whatever reason, then lenders can be funny about having a non-earning partner. It varies from lender to lender. I posted some links above. It’s not automatic that every lender will add a non-earning spouse.

It MAY be that the OP & her DH got shit advice or didn’t ask the right questions about the joint deeds/joint mortgage issue. Or it MAY be that her DH got the right advice and did this deliberately. We really don’t have enough information to judge and I think this thread whilst well-meaning and presumably eye-opening for the OP is also full of people jumping to conclusions on the very sparse information the OP has posted.

She needs to get it sorted now she’s aware. She should tread carefully sounding her husband out in case he’s a grade A shitbag. But he might not be.

OP has said that her DH has “lots of their finances” in accounts in his name. We have no more information on what that means. Is “lots” more than 50%? More than 60%? 70%?

What does that leave the OP with access to in real terms? Is it just just enough for food or tens of thousands of pounds?

We just don’t know. There have been some good, measured posts on here but some others seem determined to whip up a bit of hysteria based on an incomplete picture.

I’m sorry but you’re wrong. Thr property is the security, I can’t say how long ago you’re talking about, but In the last thirty years it’s been easy for all lenders and pretty much th norm for both spouses to be on. They don’t give a shit who pays, if no one does they just take the property and recoup their money. And the more people thr better,

I think you’re talking about unsecured loans, because what you’re saying is not accurate For spouses on a mortgage,

Good to know 🌺

Do you really think men up with complete control over family finances by mistake?

Apparently a lot of people do!

Have you ordered your debit card yet?

If you want to be on the mortgage and the deeds to the house, when it comes to talking with a mortgage advisor, mortgage broker or solicitor, all your husband needs to say is "I want to put @itchywitchy on the mortgage and deeds" and that will be enough to get the conversation started and the ball rolling. Then you'll need to provide a lot of paperwork (bank statements, ID, proof of address etc).

Make sure your husband does this.

@NoSquirrels

She doesn’t need to earn anything at all ever to be on the mortgage, it can be done on one spouses earnings onlyand the other is still on the mortgage and deeds. It’s perfectly normal. As explained my husband and I got our mortgage on this basis and plenty of stay at home parents have done the same and have posted on here to confirm.

It’s not always that straightforward and certainly in the past some mortgage lenders will not have accepted a joint owner/sole mortgager arrangement so it’s not necessarily the case it was malicious in OP’s situation. The lending bank’s issue is that they’re securing the money on the house and entering into an agreement with the person named on the mortgage. If that person fails to pay, they can repossess the house to sell. Simple if the deeds match the mortgage. If the deeds say someone else has an interest in the property but isn’t named on the mortgage, that’s a barrier to them repossessing.

Maybe it was just financial naïveté in the past, maybe it was calculated, we just don’t know. But it’s definitely worth her sorting it out now and getting the ball rolling by investigating what to do to even it up.

This was what I was trying to think of. This was exactly the reason. If the bank wanted to repossess the house, they wanted to make sure that no one else had an interest in the house to stop them reposessing it if my husband failed to pay. So I had to sign something. Does this sound familiar to anyone? What would i have signed? I definitely had no legal advice and never even went to the bank. It just seemed like it was standard practice.

Which lender is the mortgage with? Those sort of forms used to require 'separate legal advice' last time I had any involvement. So if you didn't have that, you may have grounds for a challenge in the event of a divorce.
Much better though to just remortgage with you included on the deeds and mortgage.

www.standard.co.uk/homesandproperty/property-news/right-of-occupation-why-do-i-have-to-sign-an-occupier-consent-form-if-my-boyfriend-is-buying-a-property-a133781.html

@dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby It was HSBC. I definitely didn't have any legal advice, I never even spoke to anybody or went into the bank.

It seems strange now I think back, as we were married. I wasn't just a random person living in the house.

We got our mortgage 20 years ago so things may have changed but I was bearly earning anything when we bought our house but I was still on the mortgage and the house deeds.
If I were you I'd talk to a property specialist solicitor and see what your rights are.

[quote Itchywitchy]@dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby It was HSBC. I definitely didn't have any legal advice, I never even spoke to anybody or went into the bank.

It seems strange now I think back, as we were married. I wasn't just a random person living in the house. [/quote]

you were Shafted