Met guy online - reaction to ending it

[Petra28]

I've been chatting for a month, mostly via text, with this guy I met via OLD. We also had a few video calls.

I'm very busy with work and just last week got a promotion that I'd been dreaming of forever.

I decided to let him know that I could no longer continue chatting, purely because I didn't want to waste his time and I wouldn't be able to commit to anything long term.

He went mental! Said I'd deceived him and sent a string of messages in a row outlining how good we'd be together and that I am causing myself misery by not giving him a chance. He is devastated apparently and it's my fault.

Should I have said something re the promotion sooner?
Or have I dodged a bullet?

Dodged machine gun fire.

Dodged a bullet for sure. 0 guilt for you here.

Totally dodged a bullet. He might be a bit disappointed, but the reaction is out of order.
Block, ignore.
Congratulations on your new job.

Dodged a nuke more like it! Block him, do not engage further. Nothing more worrying than a man that explodes at being told no....

Bullet dodged. Congratulations on the promotion!

Bet he is a self-proclaimed "nice guy".

Block him and forget him. You've done nothing wrong.

Bullet dodged, aint nobody got time for dat!

Woah! Imagine what he'd have been like if you had actually met and taken things further!

Well dodged!

And congratulations on the promotion

Congrats on the promotion! He sounds crazy controlling, massively doged bullet.

So you hadn't even met him? That's mental. He shouldn't be getting so invested so early on. Imagine trying to extricate yourself from the relationship even 6 months down the line. This has stalker written all over it. You've dodged a bullet getting out of this now!

Dodged!

So well done to you on your promotion I am really pleased for you there is nothing better than achieving something you really wanted.
This guy needs blocking and do not think about him again if he performs like this now you have certainly dodged more than a bullet I hope he doesn't know where you live ?

Clearly dodged a bullet, but why were bothering to engage in OLD if you weren’t looking for a relationship .

Thanks all.

Just to answer pp, I initially was looking for a relationship. The promotion was unexpected and I really didn't think I would get it. I just want to focus on that now. Maybe I should have mentioned it to him. I do feel slightly guilty, but you have all confirmed that his reaction was over the top.

Congrats on the promo!

His reaction is utterly petrifying, block and please don't feel any guilt whatsoever.

Totally dodged a bullet. At this stage its not uncommon for folk to ghost people they have only talked to and not met yet! At least you were honest with him. Congrats on your promotion!

His reaction is ott but I can sort of see his point, there’s always evenings and weekends to chat . If you really want to stay in touch with someone, you can find the time.

His reaction was over the top but I do think you should have told him about the potential promotion before it happened. Online dating is so full of flakey or married people who don’t have any intention of ever meeting it would be frustrating for a genuinely nice person to get over invested in you. (Obviously he was an arse and you are well rid of him.)

I don't understand. Why does a promotion mean you can't date?

Definitely dodged a bullet there! Did he even say well done on the promotion?

You have certainly dodged a bullet there.

The fact that you're happy to drop it also shows that you weren't that interested, although you were right not to get invested in someone you had never met.

OLD is hard at the best of times so I feel for people trying to navigate it during this shitstorm. Good luck with the job, and hopefully you will feel able to meet someone once things are open again.

The point is that if you really really liked this guy, you wouldn't have let a promotion stop you from continuing to see him. So clearly you didn't really like him. Perhaps you should have called it sooner, sure. But we all let the odd relationship linger longer than it should for whatever reason. His response is absolutely crazy and a clear sign that ending it is absolutely the right thing to do. Amazing how he thinks yelling at you is going to get you to change your mind about how you feel.

No he didn't say well done - so thanks to everyone saying it here!

It's not that it means I can't date. However, he was quite full on and making suggestions about meeting as soon as allowed. I didn't want to string him along. I'm going to be busier than ever and it just felt unfair.

You know the thing they used in Star Wars to blow up a planet? Thats the amount of ordnance youve dodged.

Try not to waste anybody else's time. You say you're going to be busy and bin off the guy and then say you want to continue with old

You sound like you don't know what you want