To think cleaning the house takes a really long time

[Thisismynewname123]

I'm not a very good or a natural cleaner. We have had cleaners, but DH hates having a stranger in the house (he also doesn't clean, because mess doesn't bother him. Not getting into that discussion now though). I work full time. Currently WFH, but even so, it's a busy job and I don't have time during the day to clean. I'm too tired by the evenings, and I do the cooking as well, which takes my evening. So, how long do you think it should take to clean a 4 bedroom, 2 full bathroom plus downstairs toilet reasonably large house? I also do all the laundry, and changing bedsheets. 2 secondary age children (although one with special needs means she's little help. Older one could, but is lazy). I feel as though this is a full day at the weekend, plus extra with getting through all the laundry. A cleaner does it in 4 hours, but she doesn't change bed sheets or do laundry, and she alternates weeks with the bedrooms.
Does anyone have any tips on how to make it more efficient? If you don't have a cleaner, how long do you think this should take?

Tips - get the lazy part of the partnership to do some chores. Surely stripping a bed or washing up isn't too much for the precious/lazy chap? Only do things that affect you then and leave his clothing dirty/un-ironed, his things dusty and dirty.

Little and often.

As you leave a room take something with you to put away.

Get rid of unnecessary clutter. I can clean my sitting room in a few minutes. I don't have ornaments/clutter/general mess - I cannot abide the clutter that some live with. Minimal makes things so much easier to clean and less space for skin cells (dust) to hang around.

Does he have a pet? If so make him clean up it's mess or get rid.

This may surprise you but different people take a different amount of time to do clean. Depending on...how thorough they are, their physical abilities, their ability to focus and not get distracted.

I am someone who has a very clean and tidy home. I can’t live happily surrounded by mess and clutter and knowing things not clean.

And to do it properly - it DOES take time. Some of the shortcuts I have read on threads make me feel queasy. That’s not prophet cleaning - it’s making something look less gross for a short while.

To have a deeply clean and tidy home - takes time and effort. No shortcuts.

My tip is a good audio book

I can get hours of deep cleaning done with a good audio book on the go

Takes me four hours to do the kitchen sometimes, it's really old though and hard to clean properly. Bathroom would be another couple of hours, it has the same problem. Dining room is pretty much a lost cause as it's now a hobby room/office so just vacuum it once a week, but living room maybe 45mins to an hour depending on how thorough I'm being.

Old, falling apart stuff is just so much harder to clean and make it look like its clean.

Some people do have lower standards and some people higher. Op might want it constantly like a pristine show home which is pretty high maintenance. Or it might be her DH is willing to live with it pretty swanky.

More likely your DH would do a basic level of cleaning if you didnt enable him. My practical advice is to accept some level of difference in your standards but stop enabling him to do nothing. Find the bits he would do if you didnt, and make sure you aren't doing bits he would do if left to it (it might not be what you expect). You will find he will run laundry when the alternative is having no clothes to wear, and will buy food when theres no in the house otherwise etc.

If what he will do is too minimal then just tell he pitches in on basics or you get a cleaner - end of.

Leaving dishes in the sink is disrespectful. I presume you do have a dishwasher - if not get one for sure. I'd not touch mess like that, left when you are working- call in the culprit and get them to put it in the dishwasher

@Chewingle what are the shortcuts you disapprove of ?

I would make the 3 of them use and clean the main bathroom and you use and clean the en-suite

See how long it takes them to realise they don't like dirty but it won't affect you

Robo vac and robo mop

I always had a cleaner from when I had my first house but my DH hated it - he was like yours re the 'stranger in the house' thing.
So I gave him an option - have a cleaner or clean it himself. He does it now!

@museumum

Ours takes 3 hrs for the cleaner to do but all 3 of us spend an hour the night before tidying for her. When we clean ourselves it’s almost impossible to organise that same tidying blitz without an external person as the deadline. Laundry and changing beds is additional. It’s definitely not fair for one person to do it all just because the other doesn’t want a cleaner!!! With 4beds have you children?

agree that's the main reason we have a cleaner!

[quote rookiemere]@Chewingle what are the shortcuts you disapprove of ? [/quote]
Oh I’ve read some crackers

“After you’ve finished using a face wipe, use it to wipe around your bathroom surfaces”

So after you’ve used a facial wipe to remove make up etc and cleanse your face, use it to “clean” your bathroom.

Lovely

OP don’t nag ... Every hour or two (depending on time frame given) I just pop my head round and say ‘remember to do x by x’ .. works much better than constantly nagging.

You could also start a chores list. Much easier if everyone can actually see what’s expected of them - and that it’s fair.

It would take a full day I think .It would be reasonable to expect some help from DH and your older DC as well though .Working FT as well its not fair on you.Can you OW maybe have a quick hoover round ,and say polishing /cleaning bathroom a couple of times a week before work ? Say get up half an hour earlier ? I appreciate you dont want to have an argument with DH ,but it will build up resentment in the long run! There was a recent thread here about a lady who locked herself in her bedroom she was so fed up!PS Dont be that lady!

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland I don't have unreasonably high standards. We have a far from spotless house! I do expect basic cleanliness, such as a clean kitchen before I start preparing a meal, and clean bathrooms. I hate plates left in the sink, and I do as though I'm nagging constantly because it's still not done, despite bring reminded daily.
I give the sink a quick going over every time I wash up (as this would be asking too much of everyone else when they had to be nagged just to put their plates in the dishwasher).

@Blindstupid I've made so many versions of chores lists in thd past. They seem to see them as one time activities, until the next time I end up crying about how everyone treats me, which leads to a one time burst of activity.

@dottiedodah I already get up before everyone else because that's when I do laundry/feed the cat/ empty the dishwasher/clean any mess that was left out the night before.

Meal kits are great for reducing the amount of time shopping and planning for meals plus one take away per week to give you a much needed break from work. It should take around 3 hours to clean a house of that size. How about breaking it into two chunks of cleaning so it doesn't eat into your weekend so much? I have sympathy and understanding for you though.

@FannytheW0nderDog DH has suggested cooking subscriptions like Hello Fresh because he can't cook and he knows I sometimes find it a chore (I used to enjoy cooking. Now it's just one more thing on the list). I'm always trying to lose emweight though and worry will be heavily calorie laden.
I can't do the whole house in 3 hours! I take it that doesn't include changing bedding, which is a good half hour itself for all beds. Just the kitchen takes at least an hour to do properly, plus half hour for each bathroom. That's without 2 lounges, dining rooms, bedrooms, cleaning floors and laundry. But as I said, I know I'm not very efficient

I've nagged about laundry constantly over the years, but it's still all me.

What would happen if you just didn’t do their laundry? Yes it would pile up, but find a way to detach from it. Get yours done. Leave theirs. Get your own laundry basket and just look after your own.

Strip the beds. Don’t wash the sheets.
Your DH and children can work out how to clean sheets and put them onto their own beds.

Another vote for a cleaner. Mine does all of upstairs and downstairs (3 baths, 4/5 beds and five reception rooms) in 4 hours. She doesn't do the laundry.

It took me 7 hours in lockdown to clean to the standard she did in 4 hours. I'm also a SAHM so it's rather a luxury but it frees me up to do other things (and keep on top of it during the week).

Older DC can help the younger one change sheets, they can do both their beds between them.

For your bed, tell DH he is helping you change the sheets 'now' at a time of your choosing and then the job of bed changing becomes a five minute job for you, if that.

As you can see, you're going to get loads of different answers on here.

We have a two bed house, one bathroom. No DC but we do have three cats and a dog. I probably spend an hour a day on housework, roughly split up like this:

Daily - vacuuming, dishes, scooping litter trays, keeping kitchen surfaces clean and tidy, sweeping floors.
2-3 times a week - clean the bathrooms, change the litter trays completely, empty bins, steam mop the floors, do the laundry.
Weekly - strip the beds, wash the dog blankets, clean inside fridge ready for the next food shop.

I'm naturally "tidy" though and automatically put dirty dishes in the sink and put laundry away without really thinking about it.

Thisismynewname123 Well then you are really pushing yourself hard! Maybe think that like some people on their death bed, who wish they had spent less time in the office .you wish you had spent less time cleaning! I appreciate you dont want arguments ,but think to yourself if this was your friend what would your advice be to her? Life is too short to be a skivvy! If you can afford it ,I would just say to DH you are getting a Cleaner as a statement not a question! If he moans ,just say you cannot do it all and leave it at that .Maybe start with once a fornight then build up to once/twice a week?

If you are not going to go the regular cleaner route you could - hire one of those companies that does one off cleaning and get them in once a month or what ever schedule fits best. Then you could do some maintenance cleaning in between which should take a lot less time. Or - you could do a deep clean of one room a week, for a few hours, and then in the other areas concentrate on wiping surfaces in bathrooms and kitchens, tidying up, bleaching the loo.

But honestly? Your husband sounds like a total knob and needs to either pitch in or shut up.

Natural consequences!

You have 2 bathrooms? You and DH clean 1 alternate weeks. Other is kids bathroom - not cleaned then it's dirty!

Could your younger DC Hoover? You don't say how much her autism affects her and leaves of understanding. My autistic ds hoovers (not allowed to wash up etc as he drops things 🙈🤣) and he does it every Sunday and it's part of earning his pocket money.

He also takes bins out as again it's a job he cannot break anything doing! (As well as stripping own bed, putting bedding on and putting own clothes away).

Older DC can have a list of chores for each week that just be done by Sunday at 5pm. Chores aren't done - no money. But for this to wrk you have to be prepared to allow it not to happen and not to nag and just have the firm but hired voice if she moans about no money!

Same with plates etc. If they aren't washed and sorted (have a rota for each day being someone else's responsibility for dishwasher and each rinses own stuff) then you have nothing to put food on so you don't cook.

Sounds like your in that negative cycle where you moan and nag and they don't have to do it because you do it anyway - so you end up getting double whammy if negativity.

I also agree have a list of jobs for each day. Room per day is plenty enough.