To think cleaning the house takes a really long time

[Thisismynewname123]

I'm not a very good or a natural cleaner. We have had cleaners, but DH hates having a stranger in the house (he also doesn't clean, because mess doesn't bother him. Not getting into that discussion now though). I work full time. Currently WFH, but even so, it's a busy job and I don't have time during the day to clean. I'm too tired by the evenings, and I do the cooking as well, which takes my evening. So, how long do you think it should take to clean a 4 bedroom, 2 full bathroom plus downstairs toilet reasonably large house? I also do all the laundry, and changing bedsheets. 2 secondary age children (although one with special needs means she's little help. Older one could, but is lazy). I feel as though this is a full day at the weekend, plus extra with getting through all the laundry. A cleaner does it in 4 hours, but she doesn't change bed sheets or do laundry, and she alternates weeks with the bedrooms.
Does anyone have any tips on how to make it more efficient? If you don't have a cleaner, how long do you think this should take?

@Thisismynewname123 I just don't see why you should have to accept this division of labour... especially when you also work... is your husband unreasonable generally? I would sit my husband down and explain that it's not fair on you at all, and that you are going to be getting a cleaner. Perhaps try and find someone through a recommendation from a friend? Would he be more comfortable with that?

[quote Thisismynewname123]@GhoulWithADragonTattoo it's not oartuculatly tidy! It's not a total disaster, but there are always piles of papers in the kitchen (and elsewhere) that don't have a home.
I agree DH and DCs need to help more, but it's a constant battle with them all. I've tried teacher older DC to clean the bathroom, but she doesn't do it regularly, and I have to supervise and show her what to do each time.
I'm not good at staying in top of it. Dishes and cleaned and dishwasher loaded/unloaded constantly, but whenever I go to clean, by the time I've sorted out piles of "stuff " and cleaned the bathrooms, done some laundry and changed bed, I can't be bothered any more![/quote]
This is why giving them step by step instructions saved on their phones was an inspired idea even if I do say so myself

@rookiemere

Robohoovers are great. Used to take me about an hour to vacuum the whole house, now I just need to do behind the sofas and corners and the stairs.

That’s my definition of fancy - hoovering where no-one can see.

[quote Thisismynewname123]@DaphneBridgerton yes, laundry gets done throughout the week. It's the folding and putting away that takes time (older DC and DH put their - already sorted - pile of clothes away).
I know I'm a mug which is why I don't want to get into it, but I don't know how to convince everyone they need to help without being told that I'm always moaning.[/quote]
The only way to do it without moaning is just to stop doing the things that affect them. You've tried asking nicely, you've tried asking not nicely. So, stop doing anyone's laundry apart from your own (and maybe the youngest). Stop cooking for everyone. Pay for a cleaner out of family money and tell dh to stop moaning if he complains.

I do a room an evening so I don't use a day when I'm off work. I try and do the laundry in the week too and rarely iron.
When I didn't do this I used to spend around 5 hours cleaning but my house isn't as big as yours.

I don't think every room needs dusting every week. And jobs like hoovering are so quick and easy that if you do it in advance, she can concentrate on skirting, windows, kitchen, bathrooms etc.

I'd want downstairs and bathrooms done weekly and bedrooms and hallways fortnightly I think.

God you tell them straight.

You're an equal to your husband and that needs setting out straight. As for your kids, the elder teen should be doing plenty and as for telling you you're "moaning" she wants to have some respect.

Don't mince your words, ask them why they are happy for someone they claim to love to do more than twice as much as anyone else in the household.

Why they think someone else should have to work hard and exhaust herself so that they eat, wear clean clothes and have clean facilities to use.

Why it is ok for another human being to be desperate to the point she's begging strangers on the internet for help simply because one member of the household claims "not to see it". That's simply not good enough.

It's not your job to do all of this, it's not your job to persuade them otherwise. Your husband has zero care and respect for you and your kids are learning this too. Be firm

It takes me about 4 hours to deep clean a 4 bed 4 bathroom house but everyone pulls their weight during the week (dh, ds and ds' girlfriend) and that doesn't include laundry which gets done separately. I honestly couldn't stand living with someone who share chores. My ds (19) has always helped clean as it was only me and him for a long time and my dh had never lifted a finger before he married me but I was very clear from the start that I like a clean house and if he wanted to live with me he had to clean too.

That should say someone who won't share the chores!!

We have a similar sized house and our cleaner takes 4 hours to clean it including changing sheets. But we spend ~1-2h making sure the house is tidy for her as well. Then we have a couple of hours cooking each day plus a load of washing each day to wash, hang up, fold. DH does a lot though because he is not an arse.

4 bed 3 bathroom house. Takes me about 6 hours non stop to get it sparkling.

Oh gosh I could have wrote your post ( apart from husband as I live alone with kids)

They have destroyed my house whilst I’ve been WFH. It was really in a bad yesterday so I took a pro plus and cleaned the whole house yesterday it took me three hours 😱

I’m going to promise myself I’ll go to bed at 10pm from now and get up at 6am and do one hour of house hold jobs become the kids get up. Then at 8pm when the kids have gone to bed do another hour.

My biggest down fall is washing - it was everywhere!

I have a three bed house, two bathrooms over three floors - nightmare

@DavidsSchitt DD doesn't tell me I'm moaning. She is well meaning, but lazy and says herself. It's just always "soon" rather than "now" with her.

Give him a corner/ cupboard for his "stuff" the cleaner is not to touch it. Everything needs a home. Then get a cleaner in.

So your husband is allowed to rant, but you're not allowed to 'moan'?

They call it moaning or nagging because they know you're right but they don't want to change.

Get a cleaner and let DH rant all he likes.

Have a look at the Clutterbuster on Organised Mum Method. You do need to round each room with bags for rubbish, recycling and charity shop and get rid of as much as you can. I did this about a year ago and house much easier to keep on top of. She also videos showing how she has tackled other people’s houses which give really good ideas. I’d say do one room at a time and really get on top it. I knew I’d done when black and yellow Clutter busting sheet was messiest thing.

@MasterBeth I didn't say I hoovered behind the sofa every time !
Another time saving device is disposable antibac wipes. Yes hideous for the environment I'm sure, but much quicker for wiping down toilet seats and really dirty bits.

I have a 5 bed, 3.5 bath with 2 reception rooms. The cleaning is endless. As soon as I finish after a couple of days of cleaning it all needs cleaning again. I'd say do some cleaning jobs while you're in the room e.g. wipe basins and glass in the bathroom while you brush your teeth or wait for shower to warm up, clean kitchen surfaces while the kettle boils, etc. Anything you can't do like that can be done on the weekend by your husband e.g. hoovering, dusting, etc. You can do your washing in the evenings or when you have a spare moment until he starts pulling his weight. He'll soon notice when he runs out of undercrackers.

I’m just trying to encourage my 12 year old to sort out her old clothes for charity shop. She’s being very slow but won’t accept help. Worth persisting though, her drawers are to full. My 10 year old has already done his earlier in the hols but he’s happy to have help.

Just thought of another thing. For mopping the floors, I have one of those mops with a stick on cloth- sorry don't know what it's called but got it in Lakeland. I buy direct squirt on the floor cleaner and then you just need to wash the cloth bit occasionally as you do it. Much quicker than normal mopping with buckets of dirty water and dries quicker which is good as sometimes I feel DH makes a point of stepping on it while it's still wet. He claims the bucket and mop is better, but as he does it about once every two months and I do it weekly- I ignore him.

I totally agree with pps. You need to get your family to muck in. It helps our household if everyone does it at the same time, usually Saturday morning. Husband isn't the most enthusiastic but he will hoover while I dust and do bathrooms, children will strip beds, tidy and dust their rooms and he'll hoover when they're done etc. It feels much nicer when everyone mucks in at same time too.

You’re making naff excuses for your husband and one of your DC’s. They should be helping you and shouldn’t get to cop out because they’re ‘lazy’ and ‘not bothered about mess’.

You say your dh does nothing, then say that he does hoovering and mopping because that bothers him? Would he hoover once a week? You say your SN teen can manage the dishwasher - then that's her regular job. Your other teen needs a specific task (10 mins a day going round house and putting staff back where it belongs?) leaving you to do bathrooms and change beds.

Break it down basically. Everyone has their own tasks, and tasks that they will do competently.

It definitely does take a lot of time to keep on top of household organising and cleaning. I think the day to day essential jobs like washing up, laundry, changing beds, emptying bins, cooking take as much time as the actual 'cleaning' work like vaccuuming, bathrooms, dusting etc. I estimate I/we spend roughly a couple of hours a day (one hour on essentials and one hour cleaning) for a 3 bed house.

My DP is a bit like your's in that he doesn't really care about cobwebs and crumbs on the floor, he does however recognise he needs to eat and wear clean clothes so does pull his weight on those tasks. Especially with having kids, your DH doesn't get to totally opt out of domestic duties. At the very least he needs to take on the responsibilty of daily essential jobs and help you organise and come up with a workable system to deal with things like paper clutter. I recomend the Clutterbug website/youtube for ideas for creating a command centre to deal with paperwork etc.