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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think cleaning the house takes a really long time

156 replies

Thisismynewname123 · 19/02/2021 08:48

I'm not a very good or a natural cleaner. We have had cleaners, but DH hates having a stranger in the house (he also doesn't clean, because mess doesn't bother him. Not getting into that discussion now though). I work full time. Currently WFH, but even so, it's a busy job and I don't have time during the day to clean. I'm too tired by the evenings, and I do the cooking as well, which takes my evening. So, how long do you think it should take to clean a 4 bedroom, 2 full bathroom plus downstairs toilet reasonably large house? I also do all the laundry, and changing bedsheets. 2 secondary age children (although one with special needs means she's little help. Older one could, but is lazy). I feel as though this is a full day at the weekend, plus extra with getting through all the laundry. A cleaner does it in 4 hours, but she doesn't change bed sheets or do laundry, and she alternates weeks with the bedrooms.
Does anyone have any tips on how to make it more efficient? If you don't have a cleaner, how long do you think this should take?

OP posts:
Notcontent · 19/02/2021 10:04

Yes, it is time consuming. A cleaner might take 4 hours but, as you say, that will not include dealing with all the washing, beds, etc. Then of course there is daily cleaning of the kitchen and generally keeping on top of things.

When my dc was younger I had someone who did some nannying and housekeeping for me on a part time basis, so all I had to do was give the kitchen a quick tidy in the evening and some washing on the weekend. Now, for various reasons, I don’t have any help, and I feel like I am never ahead with all the work involved in keeping the house going. (Only adult in the house.)

Toorapid · 19/02/2021 10:07

[quote rookiemere]@MasterBeth I didn't say I hoovered behind the sofa every time !
Another time saving device is disposable antibac wipes. Yes hideous for the environment I'm sure, but much quicker for wiping down toilet seats and really dirty bits.[/quote]
I use loo roll and antibacterial spray for quick wipe of loo seats etc. Just as quick and not so bad environmentally.

RaspberryCoulis · 19/02/2021 10:13

@Pinkflipflop85

If your husband doesn't want to have a stranger in the house then he needs to pull his finger out of his arse and do some cleaning.
Exactly this. We have a cleaner and she's not a stranger any more.
HeyDW96 · 19/02/2021 10:16

That takes me a fully day, would be finished around 5 and probably wouldn't bother making dinner 😂

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/02/2021 10:17

Depends what you call cleaning. The major blitz I do now and then (pre COVID often when guests were coming to stay) takes a long time but the basic, keeping it vaguely presentable is more the norm here.

And more often, this:

To think cleaning the house takes a really long time
Ginfordinner · 19/02/2021 10:19

but every now and then DH has his rant about much he hates a stranger moving his stuff around.

Tough, he either pulls his weight or you get a cleaner, and tell him you are sick of living in a pig sty. That is non negotiable. In terms of putting clothes away, get a box, and put all his clean clothes in it. Don't put them away for him. Do the same with your eldest DC.

SimonJT · 19/02/2021 10:20

We did have a cleaner, she retired at christmas ☹️

It depends on the cleanliness when you start, how much stuff you have and how much tidying you need to do first.

We live in a large three bed flat, one dog/cat/child. All of our floors are either wood or tile, I have a eufy that goes round everyday, the tiled areas are steamed twice a week. We don’t have a lot of stuff, so no ornaments apart from three on the bookcase, so when we wet dust we don’t have to move many things. We also clean the kitchen everytime we cook, so dirt doesn’t build up so we don’t need to do a deep clean. Things like toilets are cleaned daily so again no deep clean needed.

At the minute we’re both doing about 20 minutes of cleaning a day if we average it out.

I did some tiling in the en-suite yesterday, the day before I gave it a really deep clean, the type where you could lick every surface and it took about an hour. A usual clean would be about half an hour including polising the shower cubicle.

If I cleaned the whole flat without being disturbed or taking a break it would probably take about four hours for a standard clean rather than a deep clean.

Your children should be involved though, my son is five so I take full advantage before he becomes a lazy teenager, with support he wet dusts his room, tidies his toys away everyday, put his own washing away (apart from school uniform), brings me his dirty washing when asked, unloads the bottom of the dishwasher (apart from knives) when asked and takes off his bedding and puts it in the machine when asked.

Neither of us like dirt etc so our flat is very clean and tidy, well, apart from the glasses I leave laying around.

LakieLady · 19/02/2021 10:21

If your DH doesn't want a cleaner in, he needs to step up and do his share.

I'm far from houseproud, but my one tip is to clean as you go, so it doesn't get too vile. If you can train them all to to give the bath/shower/basin a wipe after use, leave the lav in a decent state, clean up their own spillages etc then it won't be such a big task to start with.

Secondary age children should be taking care of their own rooms and changing their own bedding imo. They could possibly do their own laundry too (I did mine from 12 yoa), although I concede that this can lead to more loads of laundry overall.

And get a Eufy or similar! From what I read on here, they're life changing.

BettysButtons · 19/02/2021 10:24
BarbaraofSeville · 19/02/2021 10:25

How does the cat react to the Eufy @SimonJT?

I've thought about a robot hoover and I think they've come down in price over the last couple of years, but I think if we had a cat scarer vacuum cleaner that randomly sprung into life while they were busy with their daytime snoozies, they'd call the RSPCA on me.

DavidsSchitt · 19/02/2021 10:26

"DD doesn't tell me I'm moaning. She is well meaning, but lazy and says herself. It's just always "soon" rather than "now" with her."

Ok, well that's something. If she's well meaning then you've got a good starting point.

Get out of the house with her for a proper talk, don't let her think this is how life should be for women. Don't mince your words with her, get her on side and pulling her weight. It's not unreasonable to expect her to do a load of washing per week, folded and put away, or to wash up some days and put away the dishes.

I find teenagers don't like cleaning bathrooms so if you don't go for the cleaver option maybe you could take that?

Then tackle your husband. Tell him exactly how you feel and that it's a direct result of the lack of care and respect he has for you. Draw up a rota that includes a cleaner.

He can cook, he can wash up on the days DD doesn't, he can do a load of washing a week. He can do the floors if that's what he prefers but don't go "light" on him. He's not a child. He should be taking on his fair share.

Blindstupid · 19/02/2021 10:28

Communication - and start with dh. Ask him why he thinks it’s reasonable for you both to work full time, then leave you to do everything around the house, and him do nothing.

Older dc - at the beginning of the day, tell her she must do 6pm (or whatever time you choose). I think it’s unreasonable to expect her to do something immediately when you want it done. I’ve found with my dc it works much better asking them to do it at their own time but within a time frame.

Youngest dc - work out something, however small, that she can do. Probably be more specific with time instruction due to her sn. In time, she will be capable of another small job, and continue.

HotPenguin · 19/02/2021 10:30

I had cleaners pre covid who did our house in 3 hours, but that didn't include laundry, they did bathrooms and kitchen thoroughly but other rooms were given a quick skim.

Now, I spend about an hour each weekend doing bathrooms. DH does the floors and vacuuming. Laundry is done constantly through the week as we have loads, the machine goes on nearly every day. The kitchen is done as needed and as a result looks pretty shit as it always gets left too long. I can't wait to get a cleaner again.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/02/2021 10:38

Just stop doing things for your husband. He will soon see the laundry when he runs out of clean clothes. He will see the dishes when they suddenly dont appear with food on them.

Hyperion100 · 19/02/2021 10:43

once a week, we both blitz the place for an hour.

hoover, mop, dust, bathroom, kitchen (which is wiped down every evening), bedding and towels washed.

no kids, no pets which makes it easier.

B3ttyBoop · 19/02/2021 10:49

As a guideline, a 4 bed house x2 bathrooms would be circa 4hrs. With Four people in the house full-time, the house will be harder work and more time consuming. Adding on laundry etc, you're probably looking @5hrs at least.
Do you have alot of floor space? How much needs mopping? That essentially doubles the floor space in certain areas. Do you need internal windows cleaning?

Does the cleaner deal with lots of rubbish and recycling? Multiple trips out to the bins can be very time consuming - can your husband/teenagers do some of this?

Are the rooms/shelves cluttered? Decluttering is a great way to cut down on time cleaning.

Is your husband working? Is he approachable for a discussion on doing more round the house? - vacuuming is great for keeping fit indoors ;) Are your teenagers able to clean their own rooms?

Cleaning up crumbs, mess etc after you've used something only takes a few mins and keeps the mess in check. I appreciate it's not easy if you have a teen with special needs.

Think small and often - if you use the sink, give it a rinse over with soap and a sponge when you've used it. Keep a pack of antibac wipes in the bathroom for the toilet. Get a feather duster - they will help to remove some dust on furniture and woodwork and it only takes a few minutes in each room. Spray the shower with showershine before you use it and wipe down when you've finished your shower.

LannieDuck · 19/02/2021 10:52

DH doesn't get to veto a cleaner and then refuse to do any of it himself.

I notice you do all the cooking and all the laundry as well.... so what household chores does he do?

You're both working FT; he should be doing half.

LaPampa · 19/02/2021 10:57

He might not mind a messy house but he will probably object to no clean clothes after a while. Leave him to wash his own.

Fwiw I agree with the other posters - actual cleaning should be split between the people who live in the house. Anyone who objects to doing it can outsource to a cleaner. (That’s assuming they can afford it).

I’d also be making sure my kids know how to do basic cooking and laundry and taking their turn as one day they will leave home and need to know. It’s doing them no favours if they’ve never had to plan ahead.

converseandjeans · 19/02/2021 10:57

If you're working FT it would be best part of a weekend day to clean house, wash towels & bedding and do a food shop.

It's also not easy with people in the house.

If you can afford it then get a cleaner. DH needs to tidy his own papers/stuff up. It's not fair to expect you to either live in a messy house or just do everything just because he's not fussed about it being clean.

Are you all wfh at the moment? It's going to be hard for cleaners to do houses properly with adults wfh and kids off school.

DenisetheMenace · 19/02/2021 11:00

It’s becoming more of a slog the older we become. I used to be scrupulous, not so much these days, changed priorities.
Only now, years later, does the family tell me I used to keep things too clean and tidy and drive them a bit bonkers.
Wish they’d mentioned it 20 years ago 😁
We’re going to look for a cleaner to do the big stuff when this is all over.

SimonJT · 19/02/2021 11:06

@BarbaraofSeville

How does the cat react to the Eufy *@SimonJT*?

I've thought about a robot hoover and I think they've come down in price over the last couple of years, but I think if we had a cat scarer vacuum cleaner that randomly sprung into life while they were busy with their daytime snoozies, they'd call the RSPCA on me.

She mainly ignores it, it isn’t nearly as noisy as a standard vacuum, she gives it the odd slap if it bums into her when she is on the floor.

The edges can leave scuffs on walls etc, so mine wears a little material cuff with holes where the sensors are.

Thisismynewname123 · 19/02/2021 11:11

@converseandjeans, yes we're all at home, although younger SN DC goes to school a couple of days a week.

@LannieDuck he occasionally hoovers (but not the full house, every day. He'll hoover around the table and kitchen after we eat, and the stairs when I ask him to), and will make very basic meals for DC (sandwiches/pasta/fish fingers) when I'm on calls during the day. He'll dust the blinds very occasionally if it dust catches the light so he notices it. Puts the bins out. Half washes up (i do most as I go along, so really he just puts plates in the dishwasher). Cleans the cat litter. That's about it.

@Blindstupid thank you for the suggestion of telling her when I want it done by. That may work, although I know there will still be a certain amount of nagging involved.

No one else will ever clean the kitchen or bathrooms. Often lunch dishes are in the sink when I finish work and go downstairs. I've nagged about laundry constantly over the years, but it's still all me. I food shop and cook (i don't mind the shopping. It gets me out of the house. Especially in current circumstances when we're all stuck at home).

OP posts:
blueleonburger · 19/02/2021 11:12

Nah nah nah. Your DH does not get to decline a cleaner then not pull his weight. If he’s not cleaning, he doesn’t get to make the decision. Get a cleaner OP.

Missingthebridegene · 19/02/2021 11:15

I spread the cleaning across the week and try to do bits here and there. So one day whilst tea is cooking, I'll clean the kitchen (15 mins as it's kept on top of every day anyway so extra just includes deep cleaning sink and fridge doors/cleaning bin etc. Each bathroom takes 15 mins and I might do that whilst DP is doing bedtime stories for example. Dusting 20 mins (but not every week) and hoovering 20 mins (might do this during screen time). So 4 bed 3 baths takes in total less than two hours. Three loads of laundry per week probably adds on 90 mins on top but again that's spread out here and there. I think doing little and often is an ideal approach then you don't lose an entire day at the weekend. Get the kids doing their bits too!

IdblowJonSnow · 19/02/2021 11:21

Just get a cleaner op. You don't need hos permission. If he's not willing to help just say you're sick of doing it but also don't want to live in a pigsty.