To want OH to stop policing my baths/showers

[H3llohEll0]

I'll preface this by saying I have good personal hygiene, so it's not that. I shower and bath regularly.

He usually works during the night but when he's off he does this every time.

I could be in the middle of a book or doing work on the laptop and he'll say "ill run your bath now"

I never ask him to. It's a nice gesture but not always convenient.

Sometimes I just don't want one, or want to be left to my book/tv programme/work. Maybe I'll only want a quick shower later on.

If you were in the middle of something and your DH tells you when to get a bath would you find it annoying?

He’s either :

1. trying to do something nice for you (as he can’t take you out shopping or to dinner atm)
2. hinting about you smelling (but you’ve ruled that one out it seems)
3. or... and sorry Op but is he getting up to something while you are safely squirrelled away in the bath?

@leavethebastardx

Maybe you do actually smell and he’s trying to politely hint, rather than outright saying it

I assure you my personal hygiene is fine, I shower every morning without fail and more often than not I shower again in the evening. I wear roll on deodorant and perfume.

I even use femfresh down below so I know for a fact I don't smell

That's just seriously odd!! Tell him to fuck off...I would! (I'm not joking either...this would get right on my last nerve! It's weird!)

Hmm , I love it when my wife runs me a bath (she’ll generally do this if I’m engaged in some particularly filthy diy task ) but I’m under no illusion that it’s a purely generous gesture . It’s normally timed just to coincide with the start of her favourite show or kick off for an England rugby match . Could your DH have a similar motive ?

All you need to say is, it's OK thank you for offering but I don't want a bath tonight. What's the big issue?

@Icenii

Is this more about sex than the bath?

I think so yes

Tell him you find it such a turn off being sent for a bath/shower.

Before you said it I knew it would be related to him wanting sex. And not necessarily very sexy or subtle is it?

@Icenii

Is this more about sex than the bath?

Oops sorry I misinterpreted what you meant.

I think the bath thing is him ensuring he gets sex.

Me getting the hump is because I just wanted to read my book in peace, then I realised it's a regular occurrence.

@leavethebastardx

Maybe you do actually smell and he’s trying to politely hint, rather than outright saying it

Yes, maybe you do smell a bit?

Like buying the smelly person at work some nice smellies for their birthday, Hint Hint

@ItsFriyay

Before you said it I knew it would be related to him wanting sex. And not necessarily very sexy or subtle is it?

Nope, neither subtle nor sexy.

It implies an air of expectation to me.

Don’t have sex with him after the bath then?

There's categorically no way I smell, I've always been a clean person. I shower daily, wear fresh clothes daily, nice perfume. I don't tend to sweat unless I'm exercising but then I'll always shower immediately after.

Its about him wanting his leg over not about me smelling.

I did think to start with that it was quite sweet, in mildly oppressive way, but quickly worked out that he's getting you freshened up so he can get his leg over. Which is grim.

I say those very words to my children twice a week. MY CHILDREN.

@Regularsizedrudy

Don’t have sex with him after the bath then?

Usually, but not always. He will initiate it nightly and if i fancy it then we will. He would tell you that me having a long soak in the bath means he has a better chance of getting his leg over though.

I feel much sexier if I'm freshly shaved, legs etc. He knows that and that's why I believe he's always trying to jog me on to 'relax in the bath'

What did you say when he said about the shower afterwards?

Kinda reminds me of Offreds monthly baths before the ceremony in 'The Handmaids Tale' (not envy).

Saying "I'll run your bath now" unsolicited is creepy.

I wouldn’t feed into it. Fine, he can run you a bath but l wouldn’t get in it. He sounds annoying and controlling to me

@Goingtogetflamed

What did you say when he said about the shower afterwards?

I told him I wouldn't dream of telling him when to get a shower, he responded "well you could if you wanted to, I wouldn't mind if you did"

Surprise surprise he's gone to sleep as he realised he wasn't getting any tonight

Tell him your reading and not in the mood for sex next time he offers to run the bath? I wouldn't like this at all.

*you're

I would say ‘no, I don’t want one’ every time he asked. That is weird and I would actually find it quite controlling.

I presume you’ve been together and he’s been doing this for a while though-what has made you suddenly object tonight after weeks/months/years/decades of him doing it?

You could say every time, I'll have the bath, but I'm not having sex. I bet the bath running would stop!

This would fuck me off. I've never had anyone do this without asking first.

'I don't appreciate being told when to shower or bathe. In fact, it turns me off like a bucket of ice water, so just stop doing it.'

But then, I couldn't be with a sexpest at all. Nothing kills my libido like someone trying to fuck every night.