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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD using tarot cards

316 replies

silverjackal · 18/02/2021 14:08

I've made it very clear to my DD that I don't approve of her getting involved in tarot readings, divination, etc. and I certainly don't want her bringing home tarot decks. She went ahead and bought three (!!) decks without my permission, using the money I gave her for emergencies.

This happened a couple of months ago, but she only told me she bought them last week. According to her they "help her" and she's using them to inform her A Level options of all things! (I genuinely don't know if she's joking.)

I told her she has to get rid of them and she reacted very angrily, but I honestly don't know what else she expects? She bought them without my permission, using her emergency money, and seems to have an unhealthy dependency on them.

If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it.

OP posts:

user54328876 · 18/02/2021 14:59

It's you again, isn't it.

The crackpot who was banging on about their daughter being disrespectful to her mom and dad by wearing the wrong clothes and nail varnish...or some such shit.

Same posting style, etc.

Theimpossiblegirl · 18/02/2021 15:00

I got DD tarot cards for Christmas. She does zoom readings for her friends and they have been a lovely, positive lockdown diversion. She's sensible and level headed, which is why her readings are so popular, I think. She did joke about not doing medicine and moving to Glastonbury to become a clairvoyant instead (I think it was a joke).

Laiste · 18/02/2021 15:00

@user54328876

It's you again, isn't it.

The crackpot who was banging on about their daughter being disrespectful to her mom and dad by wearing the wrong clothes and nail varnish...or some such shit.

Same posting style, etc.

Oh dear :(

This runs quite deep then.

thecatfromjapan · 18/02/2021 15:01

Thing is, you say she used 'her emergency money'.

Is that the only money you allow her?

My children had pocket money at that age, plus whatever they earned. I felt it was important they learnt how to spend, how to save, etc, as a necessary step in the way to autonomy.

Is your daughter allowed 'non-emergency' money?

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 18/02/2021 15:01

@MerryDecembermas

Get a grip. I used Tarot cards age 17 to 24ish and they massively helped me grow into adulthood. Yes some people put a load of woo bollocks around it but at its heart Tarot is a psychological tool that can be incredibly helpful.

Same.

The issue isn't the Tarot (fairly standard teen exploration)

It's that she used emergency money.

Change tactic.

thecatfromjapan · 18/02/2021 15:02

@user54328876

It's you again, isn't it.

The crackpot who was banging on about their daughter being disrespectful to her mom and dad by wearing the wrong clothes and nail varnish...or some such shit.

Same posting style, etc.

Oh dear.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 18/02/2021 15:02

@DahliaRoses

Lighten up, it’s only a bit of fun- she’s hardly summoning the devil!

Cue someone coming in to say, “Well actually...”

Have you not worked out how some teens work yet, forbidding something often makes it catnip.

pepsicolagirl · 18/02/2021 15:03

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

You'd have thought she might have forseen this issue...

pepsicolagirl · 18/02/2021 15:06

If you are attempting to have a crap adult relationship with her then crack on.

Yeah she used emergency money, is that so bad? really? If money is tight I could understand but even then communication would be better than punishment. Does she have access to her own money other than the emergency fund?

Laiste · 18/02/2021 15:08

Interestingly even the 'Devil' card it's self doesn't mean the devil's coming!

Ironically one of it's meanings is a warning that the questioner is in danger of being dominated or over controlled by a person or persons close to them ......

KittensTeaAndCake · 18/02/2021 15:09

Oooh I loved my Tarot cards at around that age. I remember the excitement of getting them and being into all things mystical and spiritual.
It's really not a bad thing, OP.
Chill.

Fiona2020 · 18/02/2021 15:10

Howling. At 16 I was buying Bacardi breeders and hooch! My mum would have loved me to be buying tarot cards ! Lucifer is coming for you !

pepsicolagirl · 18/02/2021 15:10

for me it was palmistry. I guarantee if I was 15 today I would be attempting to run my own little fortune telling empire online

Aprilx · 18/02/2021 15:13

Why does a teenager have or need “emergency money”? I have never heard of that before.

I would not like an ouji board in the house but tarot cards are fine. I had readings quite a lot when I was early 20s.

Wedlock · 18/02/2021 15:13

She shouldn't have used her emergency funds but aside from that I don't see an issue. You can't dictate to her what she can and can't take an interest in. Tarot seems to be quite fashionable these days. Worry if you find a voodoo doll.

luxxlisbon · 18/02/2021 15:14

How are you making the assumption that she has an unhealthy level of dependancy on them when you didn't even know she had them for the past several months?

Honestly it sounds like you are the one with unhealthy feelings on the subject. You don't have to be into them, you don't have to like them, but you don't get to dictate whether your teenage daughter likes them.

She is hardly using a ouuji board!

gamerchick · 18/02/2021 15:14

Get a grip OP.

Original poster

silverjackal · 18/02/2021 15:18

Thanks for the replies.
Yes I'm a Christian, DH and DD aren't, but my issue isn't that at all (I completely accept that most of my family isn't religious), it's rather the fact that a child is consulting cards which explicitly depict 'death', 'the devil' and 'the hanged man' to name a few.

OP posts:

KarensChoppyBob · 18/02/2021 15:18

YABVU.

year5teacher · 18/02/2021 15:21

What exactly is your problem with tarot cards?

She’s doing her A levels. You can’t control her to this extent at that age. I would be annoyed about the emergency money but you can’t dictate what she buys just because you disagree with it.

PlinkPlink · 18/02/2021 15:21

Tarot cards are not literal and their meanings are entirely interpretive.

If Death, The Hanged Man or The Devil turn up, it does not mean any of those are predicting those things, dallying with those things, dabbling in those things at all.

I would really suggest that you take the mature approach and research them thoroughly before jumping to conclusions that have no factual basis.

TwilightSkies · 18/02/2021 15:21

it's rather the fact that a child is consulting cards which explicitly depict 'death', 'the devil' and 'the hanged man' to name a few.

You should google the meaning behind those cards. They’re symbolical, not literal. Kind of like the bible

Wedlock · 18/02/2021 15:21

Everyone knows the Death card doesn't signify actual death.

KarensChoppyBob · 18/02/2021 15:22

Maybe educate yourself before you judge?

Death = change not death
Devil = temptation
Hanged man = foolish decisions

The positive cards tend to outweigh the negative ones such as the ones above.

year5teacher · 18/02/2021 15:22

Also, the death/hanged man/devil cards don’t actually represent terrible awful satanic things.
The death card represents the end of something that isn’t serving to anymore. Not a physical death.

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