To post a massive Fuck Off list

[AnarchicLemming]

And ask what yours is

Boris
Keir
Nicola
Tesco
2020
2021
Most of 2022
The weird temp check guy from the Coop
Passwords
Twitter
The BBC
Mental health provision
Crap software
Predictive text
EU institutions
Amazon
Facemasks whose earloops break before first use
ASUS laptops
Apple
Microsoft
Mercury retrograde
Google
My noisy neighbours
Goop and its founder
Slebs and people who write or read about them
My work deadline on Friday
Data protection policies
Rainbow pictures.

Yabu - you are a unicorn
Yanbu - Add unicorns to list

Am I the only one channelling my inner Billy Joel reading these lists? 😂😂

YANBU!! I agree with everything on your list.

Add:

Narcissist ex

Losers who feel so entitled by their male privilege and think I'm desperate enough to date them.

Pay cuts due to having no childcare provision, despite being a critical worker and expected at work.

@FuckingFabulous I will swap my random drilling and hammering neighbour for the Smiths neighbour?

You could try Megadeth at 7.01 am? (have tested this method, it works).

@loubieloo4 I'm so sorry. My sister is currently stage 4 and cancer is shit.

Rheumatoid Arthritis
the s*n
Bigotry in all its forms
The Conservative Party
Mrs Hinch
My husband

Pissing all over everyone’s crumpets in pursuit of good publicity for themselves

made me laugh

Men of a certain age who walk into the road even though they have seen you coming and do a slow arrogant walk across it, whilst looking in the opposite direction. I hope you develop a benign enlarged prostate the size of a melon and need to get up 50 squillion times a night for a thimble sized pee, you fuckers !

Adulting
Everyone in my LA SEN department
Most sencos

The neighbours Jack Russell. Shut the fuck up!!
The other neighbours banging garden gate that has woken me up on the hour, every hour for 2 cunting nights.
Thinking of dinner.
Cooking dinner.
DP drinking almost all the port but it's ok because he "left me a glass" (it was NOT a fucking glass full!)
DP (again!) putting more effort into rearranging the sofa and sleeping on that rather than going upstairs to fucking bed like a normal person.
My Dad making a really fucking loud noise for NO FUCKING REASON ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
Minecraft
DS talking about Minecraft
Ditto every other fucking game
People breathing
People existing
Money
Housework that NEVER EVER FUCKING ENDS UNTIL I DIE!!

Fuck me that's better

Amanda Holden,
Myleene Klass,
emergency bag of frozen vegetables,
spiders,
All 'influencers', and
anyone who says 'I have mental health' when referring to mental illness.

My new boss (fcking cow)
Having covid
Having long covid
Teams meetings
Zoom
Domestic abuse
Solicitors Charging me thousands
Bastards who clone car plates

Annnndddd this has helped me hugely 😂😳

Cooking a meal
Cleaning up the kitchen
Making a snack
Cleaning up the kitchen
Cooking a meal
Cleaning up the kitchen
Making a snack
Cleaning up the kitchen
Cooking a meal
Cleaning up the kitchen
Putting everyone to bed

In short - the entire sum of my life and achievements at this time. It can all Fuck Off.

Decaf coffee
Spiders
Lockdown
Work computers
Covid
Woman in my office who MOANS ALL DAY
Partner’s stepmum
Partner’s stepbrother
Puppy farms
Depression
Anxiety

Spending lots of money and time taking qualifications only to be put in sales”because you’re great at it”. I don’t want to do it though hence the time and money on qualifications! Urgh

• Traffic
• Roadworks on my commute
• my neighbours and their noisy builders
• the extra four stone im carrying
•.having fuckall to do except work and housework

ladies that have lost loved ones or will be.

Temporary traffic lights
Mum guilt
Shit friends

Shirley ex colleague. Bitch.
Cancer. Looking for my boob.
Tossers wanting to walk straight at you.
Asda sending cherry Madera cake. Yuk.
Neighbour across the road in and out all day long.

Almost all of the above.
Lack of money.

The loss of all my teen dc's clubs / Saturday jobs / life experiences

The fact that they are now both glued to a screen all day instead and I haven't got any alternative suggestions when they want to socialise

Fucking diet plans

Peri fucking menopause

Going on the same walks day in day out

The fact that it is illegal to see my parents. ILLEGAL. How did that happen?

The 3am fear that this is life forever now and the Tories will keep us locked down for ever and get us snitching on our neighbours

@AnarchicLemming

Why fucking not?!

People who say the NHS isn't 'fit for purpose'.

Fray Bentos pies, could you make anything harder to get into ? I have had to borrow neighbours tin openers and a hacksaw previously. It's supposed to be a pie not a Chrystal Maze challenge !

Covering vegtables in plastic stuff, stop it !

Being the only person in this house who can cope with carrying an empty toilet roll tube downstairs to the bin, I refuse to do this anymore and we are up to 6 empty toilet roll tubes balanced on the radiator in the bathroom.

facemasks
sticky hand sanitiser in shops
signs stuck on floors
the media, especially BBC and mail online
the WHO
noisy eaters

Next donor's fucking basketball hoop
Things being more expensive / unobtainable due to fucking twatty Brexit
The new stupid cunting IT system we have at work that doesn't work properly
Sinusitis
Endless discussions about what to have for tea / watch on tv
My waistline (oh sorry, wait, that has actually fucked off already 😭)

Getting ID'd everywhere even though I'm 100 years old
My colleague who wouldn't take furlough but is working about 10% of the day and home schooling the rest... I'm not picking up your slack!
Virgin media not working
Prime video buffering