Non-binary pronouns change for my daughter

[Dollyplum]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and after searching, couldn't find any past threads for this.

My daughter now identifies as non-binary and has changed her name to reflect her new identity. She is now asking us to use they/them pronouns and tbh, we're really struggling with this. We don't have any issues with her wanting to be the person she wants to be, but I can't quite explain why we find the pronouns so hard to come to terms with. I guess from an old fashioned perspective, they/them is plural, and we have known her for nearly 14 years as a girl.

Can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this please? Are we just being stubborn? Should be change the pronouns? The name change was welcomed with open arms by our whole family and she is definitely happier that everyone has settled into this without issue. We have changed her name at school, dentist, etc. to her preferred name.

I'm sure other parents here have been through the same thing and any advice would be welcome please. Thank you so much :-) x

In my view, gender is or has become a matter of faith, akin to religious belief. You are entitled to your beliefs, your children are entitled to theirs, and they may be deeply held or worn very lightly. How do you treat your friends with differing beliefs? That might be a model for how to proceed.

@RedToothBrush

Your daughter doesn't like sexism.

Neutral pronouns dont help you escape it.

Using the pronouns merely reinforces the myth you can. Its unhelpful.

You are what you are. Its inescapable in the long run.

No. Please don't pedal untrue myths.

OP, it's normal to trip over it. I would advise trying your best to do it, but explaining that you will get it wrong sometimes. It's an unnatural way to speak! But that you do respect their choice and you will try.

OP did not ask for advice on whether you agree with being binary, so please don't be arrogant enough to give it.

@RootyT00t i was replying to others who were not understanding of OP. What have i said that you taken offence to?

[quote ElizabethofpeanutYorkies]@RootyT00t i was replying to others who were not understanding of OP. What have i said that you taken offence to? [/quote]
As I say I misread the comments.

It was the comment you quoted originally I took offence to.

I made a mistake tagging you.

@HmmSureJan why?

OP didn't ask for a lecture in feminism. she asked for advice on using the terms.

@RootyT00t It was the comment you quoted originally I took offence to.

What did i say offended you?

Does anyone think it’s all a bit silly?

[quote ElizabethofpeanutYorkies]@RootyT00t It was the comment you quoted originally I took offence to.

What did i say offended you? [/quote]
Arghhh!! I've apologised three times now. It was the comment you QUOTED. NOT YOU. I tagged you by accident.

Having read the full thread, in disturbed by the usual mention of trans kids being exploited and being against feminism etc etc etc.

Non binary is not trans.

@Ahmnotacat

Not a fair analogy. We use they and he and she interchangeably weirdly enough for strangers.

But for your own child they still have a name. They or their name will do. They instead of he or she is not a big ask.

@RichPetunia yes. The Op asked for help and then it all went Pete Tong.

The thread became all LBQT and the Op's question as a mother got lost.

@HmmSureJan

This has to be the biggest load of bollocks i have ever read on MN. Put your uni txt book down darling.

You're very rude but whatever.

Do you honestly think suddenly not knowing if you have a sister or a brother or neither of which would have no affect on other children in the family? Of course it would.

I'd like to think it would raise an open minded child , far preferable to the close mindedness we see on this issue. I know what is prefer in my child.