AIBU to think all Mumsnetters are on top of life admin

[Southern]

Just that really, it's been a bit hectic lately and I feel like I have fallen behind on stuff. I read some threads for tips on here and most MN'ers responses were quite scathing towards those who weren't on top of life admin which to be honest, made me feel like a bit of a failure. Is everyone on here on top of everything and always goes on comparison sites to check all their quotes etc? The amount of form filling just fills me with dread and sends me on a procrastination loop (which is why I am here typing this probably)...... for those who are on top of it, when do you do it?

Nope. I’ve never been on a price comparison site in life. Everything goes out by direct debit. I’ve no idea if I’m paying more than I should.

@MrsMoastyToasty - the EHCP is the one thing I’m fastidious about. After getting shafted by the LA two years ago, I’m on their backs constantly checking wording and making sure they’re sticking to the time frames etc.

For car insurance if you use confused.com it saves everything. Accidents, drivers number, no claims. You literally click renew quote and it gives you this years prices. Then I check for cash back via Quidco and go via that, and it's done. Maybe 10 mins or so and means no digging out dates etc

OP, I sometimes feel crushed by ours. We are expats with dual nationalities. We live and work in a third country and are in the process of applying for citizenship here. We have ageing parents back in our home countries, three school age children who are involved in a lot of extracurriculars, a mortgage, and pets. As you can imagine, linguistic and cultural hurdles and the complexity of family life and finance spread across 3 countries breeds a LOT of admin.

For some people it’s not as simple as putting all your bills on direct debit and surfing the web for two minutes to make sure you’re still getting the best energy deal.

I need to phone hmrc. Which will take about 2 hours out of my day, I also need to phone separately about another issue todeal with my tax credits (can't be done on the same call). I need to deal with my son's pip, my carer's allowance, my dsa, my daughter's mental health issue, my middle son's GCSE's and college applications, my eldest son's medication and universal credit application. Eldest sons medication. My water bill is wrong, so I'll spend eternity on the phone about that. I need to arrange a vets visit. One child is complaining their eyes hurt. Another says their teeth hurt. I have moles in the garden. The water pressure is low and causing problems with the boiler. My front door hinge has snapped. A chunk of plaster had just fallen off the wall. The drains keep blocking. I need to organise therapy for my eldest son. My daughter wants to look at music lessons.

That's just stuff I need to think about for my family, off the top of my head. All if this is utterly draining stuff and very little is able to be dealt with in 2 minutes. I also have to work, clean, cook, shop and study.

There's loads more.

All the sneery fuckers on here need to be very thankful that their lives are so very benign that all they have to worry about us stuff that takes a couple of minutes.

IS IT REALLY SO FUCKING HARD TO IMAGINE THAT OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES MIGHT BE A BIT TRICKIER THAN YOURS?

CHRIST ON A BIKE THERE's a massive lack of empathy on here right now.

Congratulations on all of you who have got your lives so sorted that you're so unable to imagine that other people might not.

Oh and looking into ongoing support and echp for eldest son even though he's 19.

Yesterday I
Rang the GP
Took and sent photos of the skin problem and put the phone appointment in my calendar.
Rang the vet and took the cat round.
Changed the credit card on the account for the laundry detergent subscription.
Messaged 5 friends about an online escape room for my upcoming birthday.
Went on a Zoom call with other SEND parents as there was a Q&A and I wanted to ask about finding schools.

Yet to do: check the options for the escape room.
Book another CBT session with the parent-child therapist.
Get the oils the vet recommended.
Pay the babysitter who took DS out the other day.

Hanging over me:
A Ziffit trade for books (I don't have quite enough)
A return for a crappy website that wants me to post back to China at my own expense.

That's not including things DH did.

@sunflowersandbuttercups

I always wonder how people have so much 'life admin' to do

I'm convinced it's a made-up term that exists so people can pretend they're much busier than they actually are

Its always the "so I was busy that day paying bills house admin so didn't do xyz".

After setting up direct debits some 4 odd years ago I don't think I've even read any of my physical bills let alone had to do so much work on them it becomes an official "chore/job" for the rosta

@Wanderlust20

Shocked at so many people poo pooing life admin! It's never ending, I never feel on top of it. I also think people are doing more than they think - my husband doesn't do any of our household admin, I do it all. And I know I'm not the only one, the bulk of this shit gets left to women.

My personality doesn't help either. I have anxiety about my to do list (in that I need to have everything ticked off, right away) and I tend to over think things. So those 2 minute tasks people were talking about earlier? Yeah, would be hours and hours for me, spent drawing up lists, making spreadsheets, reading reviews etc! I hate that I'm like that but can't help it.

Why are you shocked then?

You say a 2 minute task for a normal problem takes you hours and hours due to your condition, so why are you surprised that for those which it is a 2 miniute task poo poo the thought of it taking hours?

I mean yeah its a bit abelist of them but still

Thinking about my life admin for the coming week -

Pick up new glasses from spec savers - 1hr

Post dads birthday card - 15 minutes as I've run out of stamps so need to walk to the village post office but I can also take the dog so that's double reward

Pay for our veg box delivery - 1 minute bank transfer like it is every week

And looking beyond that I have nothing in the calendar (except the weekly veg box) until the next birthday card to send (I have a stash of cards at the ready) at the end of March.

L

So you don't have much, @79andnotout. Lucky you! What's your point?

@Sugarandteaandmum my point was I don't have much life admin and I'm on top of it all, as per the title of the thread.

I don't find I have much 'life admin' tbh. My bills are all DD, I flick my money around on my apps on an evening... what else do I need to do?

My partner handles all our life admin, I think. Christ, I should probably do some of that. He does all the bills, rent, car, insurance, sky sports etc subscriptions. That’s all direct debit though. He does the DIY... deals with the landlord... he also orders the food shop...

In my defence I do the majority of the cleaning (I love it) and have a far more demanding job than he does. He can order the food shop at work, for example. Maybe I’m naive about how much of his time it takes up. I think it’s probably more the mental load of him knowing he deals with literally every practical aspect of our lives. I think I’ll ask him if he wants to rejig that!!

@Wanderlust20

Shocked at so many people poo pooing life admin! It's never ending, I never feel on top of it. I also think people are doing more than they think - my husband doesn't do any of our household admin, I do it all. And I know I'm not the only one, the bulk of this shit gets left to women.

My personality doesn't help either. I have anxiety about my to do list (in that I need to have everything ticked off, right away) and I tend to over think things. So those 2 minute tasks people were talking about earlier? Yeah, would be hours and hours for me, spent drawing up lists, making spreadsheets, reading reviews etc! I hate that I'm like that but can't help it.

So that's your problem then... you're turning buying a toaster or new insurance into a saga.

Get some help developing coping mechanisms. It's not healthy to be so stressed by normal tasks.

If I'm buying anything new whether it's a toaster or TV I always do quite a bit of research, sometimes start a MNs thread 😆.

Tbh thpigh. How often do people buy toaster or tv...
This is the problem with these threads. As I said before.
It will always sound overwhelming when people put in 1 post 12 months+ worth of admin.

Also, I am quite concerned about how mamy people here needed emergency vet in lat few days😱 Is February pet cursed month?

Someone else mentioned holidays but to me that is fun, booking a holiday, researching the location shouldn't be seen as a chore or 'admin'.

I love thinking about where to go on holiday. Planning and booking it is still an organisational task though. Similarly, thinking about how you want your new kitchen is very exciting, but phoning and getting quotes and ordering stuff etc is admin. Not all admin tasks are necessarily boring.

A lot of it is much easier than it used to be and I'm thankful for that.
When I had my first house getting quotes for insurance etc meant spending an afternoon on the phone with the yellow pages and a note pad.
You had to go to the bank for big transfers and to set up new bill payments.
Booking a holiday meant sending off for brochures, going to the travel agent or spending more time on the phone.
Cheques needed writing and posting for bills.

Also I don't take on all these kind of tasks for the entire family. DH and DC do their fair share.

Also I don't take on all these kind of tasks for the entire family. DH and DC do their fair share.
I think that's another thing why so many of us are bit confused about it. My DH does his crap. He also does part of the bills. They are his to sort. I sort the other ones. I wouldn't live with someone who would refuse to do their part*

*unless disability prevented them

I do have quite a lot of admin to do - I do all the paperwork for my dad, too, so my in tray is pretty full as I just had a lot of post redirected. Today's main job! Most delayed job has to be changing my name on my pension statements - it's still my maiden name after 15 years! (I need to get birth and marriage certificates witnessed).

I think they can feel like bigger jobs than they are. I know I need to book in a service and MOT for my car and instead of just ringing today I will probably think about it every day but not book until next week (still early enough). If I could book it online I'd probably have done it straight away but I don't like making phone calls.

Also, if there's someone in your family who has medical needs then that can use up a lot of time, as you often are told to call back later, ring a different dept, kept on hold for 20 mins etc.

Thaat will be a no in my case.

I'm a weirdo and love life admin. I'm a naturally very organised person, have our lives planned months in advance, have a spreadsheet with 2 years of financial forecasts, know the renewal dates of all our policies. Planning holidays, moving house and all that entails, I love it when I have a new "project". Genuinely isn't a chore to me. I'm always quite shocked at how unorganised some people are just because I don't mind the tasks, mostly enjoy them...and would really struggle to live in disarray. I don't think I'm normal though!

One of the best tips I read on MN was to get DC involved in this kind of thing as well as the usual emptying the dishwasher and mowing the lawn.
I take out a chunk of cash as change in September and keep it in a tin with envelopes and pens from when they can reliably write their names my DC can help themselves for non uniform days, cake sales etc for school.
Once at secondary school they get an allowance for stationary, books, trips under £20, phone etc.
They all know not to bring me a form to sign until they've filled in all the information they can.
If you're old enough to have a mobile then your old enough to deal with the admin that comes with it. Same with a car.
DS1 found our previous home insurance quote and DD did the research for our last holiday.