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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think all Mumsnetters are on top of life admin

310 replies

Southern · 15/02/2021 14:32

Just that really, it's been a bit hectic lately and I feel like I have fallen behind on stuff. I read some threads for tips on here and most MN'ers responses were quite scathing towards those who weren't on top of life admin which to be honest, made me feel like a bit of a failure. Is everyone on here on top of everything and always goes on comparison sites to check all their quotes etc? The amount of form filling just fills me with dread and sends me on a procrastination loop (which is why I am here typing this probably)...... for those who are on top of it, when do you do it?

OP posts:
brownet · 16/02/2021 09:37

Also I don't take on all these kind of tasks for the entire family. DH and DC do their fair share.

Yes my dc can't do much yet as all too young but dh does all the utilities, insurances, car stuff, savings, etc

Just remembered I worked as a PA to a women who ran her own business (hnw). Half the time I did work stuff, half the time it was her life admin.

Surely stage of life has an impact? I hope to have a lot less admin when I'm retired & dc are older & my home is finally done, although I might have moved again.

AlwaysLatte · 16/02/2021 09:52

Life admin" is such a bullshit term
I don't use the term myself but I think it's a fair enough expression - distinguishing personal admin from your work admin (although personal admin is probably better!)

user85963842 · 16/02/2021 09:54

@Kottbullar I love that idea, if nothing else because I never have cash ha, but great to get the kids to take responsibility like that.

drspouse · 16/02/2021 10:02

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Also I don't take on all these kind of tasks for the entire family. DH and DC do their fair share. I think that's another thing why so many of us are bit confused about it. My DH does his crap. He also does part of the bills. They are his to sort. I sort the other ones. I wouldn't live with someone who would refuse to do their part*

*unless disability prevented them

DH does his fair share, I don't actually look at what he does but he's done all the calling the electricity company to get the meter reading right, pays the milkman while I pay the cleaner, pays half the childcare (we both get vouchers), takes it in turn to read school documents, asked if I'd filled in the school attendance survey for w/c 1st March for DD, I'm sure he's done more I don't know about and I've done more he doesn't know about. We will have more than some people because of having a DC with SEN but of the things I've mentioned several are nothing to do with that. It is frankly endless.
AubergineDream · 16/02/2021 10:08

I'm basically not on top of everything, life admin included. I haven't given up, I'm still trying to get my shit together. But it definitely is not! There's always something I miss or forget. I am not naturally organised though.

AubergineDream · 16/02/2021 10:14

@AlwaysLatte

Life admin" is such a bullshit term I don't use the term myself but I think it's a fair enough expression - distinguishing personal admin from your work admin (although personal admin is probably better!)
It's life admin not personal admin when you are doing it for other people, though. Many people are doing admin related to their caring and/or parenting responsibilities so it's not personal, it's for the Family. Family admin?
PumpkinPieAlibi · 16/02/2021 10:36

Some of it is tedious but a lot of it is either an annual or every few years sort of thing.

For the regular stuff - bills, utilities, appointments - direct deposits, standing orders, online banking and bill payments and calendar reminders will have you sorted and those really should take no more than 5 minutes. Also, scheduling your next appointment while at the doctor's, dentist's, vet's and putting in a reminder on your phone takes the work out of that step.

For the annual things - insurance, Christmas, birthdays etc. - I think the key is doing it as far in advance as possible. Everything feels more stressful when you're close to the deadline. I've also found stockpiling things like cards, gift bags, tissue paper and a few small stocking/gift stuffers (to add to the main gift) or buying during a sale and putting away months before the event helps with the stress factor.

For the ad hoc things, general organisation helps. For eg, ensuring that the vet's emergency number is easily accessible so a stressful situation does not become more so. Saving bank account numbers, ID/DP/PP numbers on your phone so you don't have to go digging around to find it everytime. Having scans of your important documents and saving them on OneDrive or the Cloud so you can always access a copy.

There'll always be the annoying, take-all-day tasks like renewing your passport or driver's permit but thankfully, those are not too often. And I say this as the person who lives in a country where these public services do not have an appointment system nor do they use computer database systems so the process is beyond tedious.

I do not have children, so I cannot contribute there. It must be especially hard for parents of kids with special needs or disabilities.

drspouse · 16/02/2021 10:44

scheduling your next appointment while at the doctor's, dentist's, vet's

I don't know when I or the cat are going to be ill so how can I schedule the next appointment?
I don't think the dentist lets you schedule for the next 6 months (they have certainly never told me) and I can't put it in the diary until I know what work will be like during that week 6 months ahead, and same for the optician.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 16/02/2021 10:46

For the annual things - insurance,

Apparently 3 weeks-21 days is the magic number for the best quote. So set your calendar reminder, people😁

Mypathtriedtokillme · 16/02/2021 10:50

Isn’t mumsnet what you use to procrastinate before doing “life admin”? (Wtf is life admin anyway?)

lazylinguist · 16/02/2021 11:01

I honestly don't understand why people are so scathing about the phrase 'life admin'. What's so 'pretentious' about it? It's a short, handy phrase which simply means organisational tasks relating to your house, home life and family rather than work.

Ditto 'meal planning' which someone slated upthread. 'Hah - surely meal-planning is just deciding what food you want to eat, looking at some recipes, making a shopping list and going to the supermarket to buy it all?!' Ummm yes... and that trips off the tongue much better than 'meal-planning', does it?

You might just as well say 'Housework?! Why have a word for that? Surely you just mean cleaning, tidying, doing the washing up etc etc?' Grin

timeisnotaline · 16/02/2021 11:10

scheduling your next appointment while at the doctor's, dentist's, vet's
I had a specialist appt for my son today that I do need to just schedule the follow up for 6-8 weeks away. But it was Telehealth so I have to phone up to do it, and I was just doing work & homeschool shifts with dh so didn’t do that. So I also haven’t paid either as I need to phone up for that too with this Telehealth approach.

TangerineGenie · 16/02/2021 11:16

Most things are so much more straightforward than they used to be and can be done pretty much 24 hours a day. I don't think there's ever been an easier time to do some of these things.

The exception for me is anything medical related which often turns into a huge ordeal for things that should be straightforward.

I'm fortunate now that I can also value my time over spending hours on comparison sites. I know I may be able to get a better deal by switching energy suppliers, but I'm happy paying 60 quid a month and not having to think about it. Researching suppliers, giving final energy readings, initial energy readings, new direct debits, online accounts etc. If I spend that time working instead I'll earn far more than I'll ever save.

KarenKarensen · 16/02/2021 11:22

This reply has been deleted

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therocinante · 16/02/2021 11:31

I've got inattentive ADHD, I've never been on top of any 'life admin' whatsoever.

I've got a pile of stuff I need to post, stuff to take to the tip, 2 parking tickets I need to pay, a doctor's appointment I've been pointlessly putting off making even though it would take me five minutes, and a pile of unopened post on the coffee table I will probably ignore until it's no longer relevant then shove in a drawer...

BarbaraofSeville · 16/02/2021 11:31

scheduling your next appointment while at the doctor's, dentist's, vet's

Why on earth would you do that? It's almost certainly going to be inconvenient by the time comes around.

Norwaydidnthappen · 16/02/2021 11:48

No idea what constitutes as ‘life admin’.

The bills come out every month on pay day, I am organised when it comes to things like birthdays and Christmas because I have 5 DC so have to buy things in advance. Food shopping lists? We do it the night before we go food shopping. The car isn’t much of a nuisance, it has its MOT whenever it’s due and that’s about it...

I genuinely can’t think of anything that takes more than 10-15 minutes and I don’t do ‘life admin’ daily.

Figarill · 16/02/2021 12:10

Why on earth would you do that? It's almost certainly going to be inconvenient by the time comes around.

I don't understand this cause I think like the above. I can't book holidays much in advance either.

drspouse · 16/02/2021 12:11

Those who say "what is life admin" maybe don't count doctor, dentist, vet, children's appointments, hairdresser appointments, paying variable bills such as milkman, cleaner, babysitter, after school club, organising nights out for friends (or at the moment nights in!), returning online orders, school forms (no, my DCs can't do theirs, firstly they are primary, secondly the younger one couldn't read it, thirdly they are on apps only we have), posting birthday presents and cards, researching DC kit [which water bottle won't DD break], sending back DC kit [lunch box that broke after a week]).
I could go on but I have a job. And life admin to do.

Kottbullar · 16/02/2021 12:17

scheduling your next appointment while at the doctor's, dentist's, vet's

Why on earth would you do that? It's almost certainly going to be inconvenient by the time comes around.

It's the only way to do it at my dentist if you want to be seen regularly. It's the same with regular clinics at the Doctors. If your in the system it makes things easier because you then get reminders and can rebook online.
We have DC4 because I messed up with my depo injections and didn't rebook at the time of the previous one so missed a reminder!!

user85963842 · 16/02/2021 12:23

@Norwaydidnthappen just because you do something the night before or in advance doesn't mean it isn't admin Hmm

Kottbullar · 16/02/2021 12:25

school forms (no, my DCs can't do theirs, firstly they are primary, secondly the younger one couldn't read it, thirdly they are on apps only we have),
It's never too early to start getting them used to doing them though.
My younger two are primary, they have the school apps on their tablets as well as me having them on my phone so they can check in the morning what's going on, what's for school dinner etc. They know how to top up their own dinner accounts.
We started doing things like this together when they were in infants and as they've become more able I've backed off and it's become habit for them.

Crackerofdoom · 16/02/2021 12:46

We have moved countries 3 times in the last 6 years and moved house twice in the last 6 months. None of our moves have been organised or paid for by work so we have done everything.

The amount of administrative shit I have to do right now is mind-blowing. I am currently working PT, got the kids at home and dealing with social security and taxes for 3 countries in 3 different languages.

My filing cabinet has colour coded folders for each country and note on where I am at with each process in case I get hit by a bus and DH has to deal with it all. It looks very impressive.

But by far the hardest thing for me is deciding what to cook for dinner. Admin and organisation I can do no problem but decision fatigue is my nemesis.Envy

drspouse · 16/02/2021 13:37

Oh god, I forgot taxes. Blanked them out.

ThePlantsitter · 16/02/2021 13:46

Everybody who isn't on top of life admin has just hurriedly clicked away from this thread (except me).