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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think all Mumsnetters are on top of life admin

310 replies

Southern · 15/02/2021 14:32

Just that really, it's been a bit hectic lately and I feel like I have fallen behind on stuff. I read some threads for tips on here and most MN'ers responses were quite scathing towards those who weren't on top of life admin which to be honest, made me feel like a bit of a failure. Is everyone on here on top of everything and always goes on comparison sites to check all their quotes etc? The amount of form filling just fills me with dread and sends me on a procrastination loop (which is why I am here typing this probably)...... for those who are on top of it, when do you do it?

OP posts:
brownet · 15/02/2021 22:19

I mentioned holidays. I do find some parts of booking them fun eg picking the location & hotel & activities but the transfers, packing, booking things, etc are less fun.

RoseMartha · 15/02/2021 22:24

Hmm well I dont have it all on spreadsheets but I know whats going in and out and regularly check my online banking.

I dont check money off sites unless I feel something has gotten too expensive.

If you get paper bills, file as soon as you get them to stop a build up. Keep them for a couple of years then shred. Unless important.

I have a few files such as, a car file, a general bills file, a kids file, a file for my parents and a file with some bank statements in but not getting monthly anymore, a divorce and moving home file which is hidden away now.
A box file of current instruction manuals. And a file full of empty poly pockets i cant justify throwing out.

Sugarandteaandmum · 15/02/2021 22:26

I do actually agree that carrying it lightly helps with life - doing admin in "the simplest terms" works for me, too, and there is a useful trick you can play on yourself to feel less busy and overwhelmed by sort of airily pretending it's nbd. Fake it til you make it. Otherwise you can end up like someone's ageing retired mum who says they are so terribly busy, as today they cleaned the oven and tomorrow they have a cheque to pay in.

sammylady37 · 15/02/2021 22:28

I still keep paper statements and bills, bit of a dinosaur, but I have 2 rules that I strictly adhere to.

  1. I keep the last 3 of whatever it is, visa bill, statement etc and
  2. I operate a ‘1 in 1 out policy’ so there’s never a build up.

And everything has a folder - car, electricity, bank, visa, mortgage etc etc. I have a two-drawer filing cabinet and they’re all in there.

UndertheCedartree · 15/02/2021 22:30

@LucasLeesEyebrows - trying to deal with bloody UC etc certainly feels like a full time job at times!!

EachBleachBlairTrump · 15/02/2021 22:34

I am not by nature an organised person, I have had to implement things to make sure I stay on top of everything, a phone with a calendar with annual repeats and colour coding is a God send. All bills on direct debit a spreadsheet for finances (half an hour initial time spent updated monthly takes less than five minutes). Magnetic pad on the fridge for shopping list so things get added as they run out. Those jobs of things mean I feel less frazzled and funny miss things and then have to panic and flap about fixing whatever I've missed or paying extra because I've let something lapse. Have to do it at work legally have to record everything, so just some the same principles at home, much less stressful now.

brownet · 15/02/2021 22:35

I decided to sort our honeymoon flights out myself as I couldn't stomach the cost of it done for me. Major admin at the time as it it was so bloody far away but saved at least 1.5k.

VestaTilley · 15/02/2021 22:36

I’m definitely not!

We’ve needed to switch our energy supplier for YEARS and don’t even get me started on DH’s non-existent pension...

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/02/2021 22:38

@sammylady37

I still keep paper statements and bills, bit of a dinosaur, but I have 2 rules that I strictly adhere to.
  1. I keep the last 3 of whatever it is, visa bill, statement etc and
  2. I operate a ‘1 in 1 out policy’ so there’s never a build up.

And everything has a folder - car, electricity, bank, visa, mortgage etc etc. I have a two-drawer filing cabinet and they’re all in there.

As a subject to immigration i too keep and demand actual paper bank statements and bills😁 But I keep 6 years of them. I have immigration crap box lol I have some payslips from 2008 still Blush Ok. It's not a box. It's boxes... 3...
sammylady37 · 15/02/2021 22:38

Also, I buy a load of birthday cards every few months- I vaguely buy the relevant sister/brother/niece ones a few months ahead but also would pick up a nice brother/sister one if I saw it even when not due, and I get generic happy birthday/get well/new home ones, meaning i always have an appropriate one to hand and it never becomes a chore that I need to get to a shop before Tuesday or whatever.

BackforGood · 15/02/2021 22:39

Well I am a functioning adult so, yes. I just don’t make out that running the average family home is akin to a full time job

and nor is anyone else.
You are literally the only person trying to bring "full time job" into this.

What everyone is trying to explain to you is that there is no way any of the dozens and dozens of jobs that needs doing for a family can be done in two minutes, which, for some reason you keep trying to insist they can.

It doesn't mean anyone is making a fuss, or not coping, or anything else. It is just fact.

Wearywithteens · 15/02/2021 22:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/02/2021 22:41

@sammylady37

Also, I buy a load of birthday cards every few months- I vaguely buy the relevant sister/brother/niece ones a few months ahead but also would pick up a nice brother/sister one if I saw it even when not due, and I get generic happy birthday/get well/new home ones, meaning i always have an appropriate one to hand and it never becomes a chore that I need to get to a shop before Tuesday or whatever.
Ooooh. Are you me😁? Having collection like this is so handy. Different styles and occassions and having about 10 at a time usually. Though most people around me don't do cards it seems...
brownet · 15/02/2021 22:43

I do the card thing, it's very handy.

sammylady37 · 15/02/2021 22:43

Ooooh. Are you me😁? Having collection like this is so handy. Different styles and occassions and having about 10 at a time usually. Though most people around me don't do cards it seems

10? Pffft. Amateur!! I’d say I have a good 35 or so in my stash. Every occasion covered Grin

UndertheCedartree · 15/02/2021 22:43

@greeneyedlulu - different people have different amounts. Different people have different levels of executive function skills. I have to make/take long phone calls most days. I have lots of complicated letters to deal with every week. I'm autistic and have low executive function skills. I find it hard to keep on top of.

Wanderlust20 · 15/02/2021 22:50

Shocked at so many people poo pooing life admin! It's never ending, I never feel on top of it. I also think people are doing more than they think - my husband doesn't do any of our household admin, I do it all. And I know I'm not the only one, the bulk of this shit gets left to women.

My personality doesn't help either. I have anxiety about my to do list (in that I need to have everything ticked off, right away) and I tend to over think things. So those 2 minute tasks people were talking about earlier? Yeah, would be hours and hours for me, spent drawing up lists, making spreadsheets, reading reviews etc! I hate that I'm like that but can't help it.

UndertheCedartree · 15/02/2021 22:56

I'd love it if living my life in 'simplist terms' meant less admin! I certainly don't do things for fun - I do the bare minimum I can get away with and it still takes ages and I'm still behind. Some people have more to do and/or it takes them longer. Not sure what is hard to understand about that?!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/02/2021 23:10

@sammylady37 🙏 master

timeisnotaline · 15/02/2021 23:16

xjustagirlX list is actually not that far off normal. I forgot on my immediate list - helping to sort my grandpas estate, checking up houses for my sister overseas, we just bought a car which I did most of the research for, getting draftsman back to us e renovation plans, birthday present for kids party next week, sorting too small dc clothes and packing away which obviously has no relation to the size tag on them. Obviously need to attend with dc the dr appt ive booked via two referrals and several phone calls, prepared forms for and researched the condition. I don’t see how you’re supposed to ‘carry this lightly’

barnhen · 15/02/2021 23:17

I'm great at paperwork.

I'm shit at cleaning.

People are rarely great at everything.

sammylady37 · 15/02/2021 23:19

[quote SchrodingersImmigrant]@sammylady37 🙏 master[/quote]
Grin

OverTheRubicon · 15/02/2021 23:37

@UndertheCedartree

I'd love it if living my life in 'simplist terms' meant less admin! I certainly don't do things for fun - I do the bare minimum I can get away with and it still takes ages and I'm still behind. Some people have more to do and/or it takes them longer. Not sure what is hard to understand about that?!
You'd think so, but apparently it's much more fun for people to go on the internet and point out how stupid or dishonest others are in struggling with all these easy tasks.

I think it depends so much on the rest of your life. When I had 2 dcs and was working 3 days a week in a flat with my husband, these tasks all seemed very manageable. Once I was back to full time and my husband was struggling with some major health issues, all those little 2 minute jobs became overwhelming demands. My entire day was filled with tasks and decisions and by 8pm when my kids were asleep I just didn't have capacity any more, even the idea of switching a direct debit felt overwhelming.

We all have different challenges, and some of my friends and family who aren't naturally organised and struggle with 'life admin' even in easier times are also the ones who will listen to their friends talk about their troubles for hours without checking a clock, or who will have off the wall creative ideas for children's play, or are doctors who become obsessed with solving a knotty problem and think about it all night (even if that means forgetting the bins).

It's great if you find it easy. It's ok if it's hard, maybe consider yourself lucky (or skilled, if it's something you've worked on), instead of looking down on those who haven't got there yet.

brownet · 15/02/2021 23:39

good post

MrsMoastyToasty · 15/02/2021 23:46

I deal with all the house admin but I'm an administrator at work so it comes naturally to me.

Things like paperwork are always filled away every week (more often now that I'm wfh and in the room where the files are kept ). Hair and dental appointments are booked when I finish the appointment I'm at.
The only admin I'm not a fan of is anything related to my son's DLA and his EHCP. (I'm a bit like Joey Tribiani when he reads Little Women in that episode of Friends).