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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Given photos to put on our wall

231 replies

MariaK91 · 15/02/2021 10:42

Hi =)
DP's sister and husband had a baby and they've given us two photos to put up on our wall, one of each of us holding DN, they're just a bit smaller than A4 sized and you can't change the photos without destroying the frame.

Is this a normal thing to do without asking people first? It's a lovely gesture but we're not loving the photos they picked of us and the prints and frames are not great quality.

We don't want to offend by not putting them up but we honestly would have preferred to pick the photos ourselves and bought frames that match what we have around the house already :/ not really sure what to do!

AIBU to think its a bit weird to give someone framed photos of your baby to put up on their wall without checking with them first?

OP posts:
FuckyouCovid21 · 15/02/2021 10:44

You don't have to put them up, stick them in a spare room or something or just put them up if/when they are visiting

CounsellorTroi · 15/02/2021 10:45

Bit presumptuous. My DB and his partner didn’t start giving us photos of DN until he started school.

ClaudiaWankleman · 15/02/2021 10:46

I don’t think they’ll be offended if you don’t put them up on the wall. It’s just a nice gesture from them.

ClaudiaWankleman · 15/02/2021 10:46

I also think YABU it’s not that weird.

Frogartist · 15/02/2021 10:49

Perfectly normal things to do, people have been doing this since cameras were invented, although the ones you've been given are rather large! You don't have to put them up.

ShirleyPhallus · 15/02/2021 10:49

What a weird thing to get annoyed about. This is one of those “only on mumsnet” things I think.

They photos are of you, holding your new nibling. That’s lovely. It’s hardly like they had a 6x6ft oil portrait cast of them naked cradling the baby and expect you to put it up.

Unclench.

Ontheroadtorecovery · 15/02/2021 10:49

I have sent family photos of my dc I put them in a frame as I think it makes a nicer present but I wouldn't be offended if they wanted to change the frame 🤷‍♀️

AllMyPrettyOnes · 15/02/2021 10:50

Just don't put them up?

ScrapThatThen · 15/02/2021 10:52

Lean them on the mantelpiece for a while and then remove to a high shelf or dressing table. It's a PFB thing 😁.

pumpkinpie01 · 15/02/2021 10:52

I see what you mean, they wouldn't have given you a photo in a frame if they weren't expecting it to be displayed. Could you put it in a downstairs toilet maybe ?

Original poster
MariaK91 · 15/02/2021 10:53

@ShirleyPhallus

What a weird thing to get annoyed about. This is one of those “only on mumsnet” things I think.

They photos are of you, holding your new nibling. That’s lovely. It’s hardly like they had a 6x6ft oil portrait cast of them naked cradling the baby and expect you to put it up.

Unclench.

Calm down. I didn't say I was annoyed. Unclench yourself.
OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 15/02/2021 10:54

I’m very zen thanks ✌🏼

someonelockthefridgealready · 15/02/2021 10:58

Prop them on a chest of drawers in the guest room or a bookcase when they come to visit.

Poppins2016 · 15/02/2021 10:58

I can see both sides... it's nice to share photos, but I'm not keen on people giving me "home decor" gifts (unless they know my taste very, very well) because what I choose to surround yourself with in my home is very personal. I find it can either lift my mood or irritate me and have started to become quite ruthless as the years have gone by. No point keeping something if I think "I hate that" every time I walk past it!

On the other hand, I don't think some people grasp that tastes differ and/or how much it can matter. Additionally with a young baby I suspect time and energy is also limited, to be fair!

I've gone ahead and reframed pictures that I've been given. With one, it would have been hard to remove the picture intact, so I just painted the frame with an 'all surface' paint so that it blended in with my existing picture frames. This could be a good solution in your case?

I tend to send people photos 'as is' and then they can choose what to do with them!

IrmaFayLear · 15/02/2021 11:01

I think some people fail to understand that really it is only grandparents who appreciate your dcs as much as you do. Siblings may like or love them, especially if they don’t have dcs themselves, but barely anyone wants pictures of other people’s children on their walls.

I was once given a calendar of dn - 12 photos, one per month. I didn’t put it up, but kept it handy to quickly hang in the kitchen should there be a visit!

MummytoCSJH · 15/02/2021 11:01

I agree with you, my photo frames match throughout my entire house (and I even have a bad of spare frames for the future Grin in case they stop selling them)! There would be no point giving me a photo in a non-matching frame.

MummytoCSJH · 15/02/2021 11:02

BAG of spare frames*

Aaaaaah · 15/02/2021 11:03

No, no, no, no, no, no I'd hate this
In my home I like to choose what I put up
I'm sure it's well meaning but fuck no

LagneyandCasey · 15/02/2021 11:03

It's sweet of them, they obviously value your relationship with their dd. You don't have to put them on the wall. Do you have a side board or table you can put them on, even if you only have them up when they visit? We have had countless photos of nieces and nephews given to us over the years. We only 'display' the most recent ones.

AnnLouiseB · 15/02/2021 11:03

I don’t think it’s weird. It’s just a nice, small gesture. If you don’t like the photos put them somewhere you won’t see them very often. Or thank them graciously and stick the pictures in a cupboard.

AnnLouiseB · 15/02/2021 11:05

think some people fail to understand that really it is only grandparents who appreciate your dcs as much as you do. Siblings may like or love them, especially if they don’t have dcs themselves, but barely anyone wants pictures of other people’s children on their walls.

What’s true of your family isn’t true of all. I absolutely adore my nephew and have many photos of him displayed. I’m very close to my siblings, it would be weird if I didn’t dearly love their children too.

LaceyBetty · 15/02/2021 11:07

I would never give anyone framed photos. It is the frame that is the problem here. The presumption must be that they will be displayed. Unframed I wouldn't think is odd because they would go in a photo album or something. I agree that it is a weird thing to do.

Sammiesnake · 15/02/2021 11:09

I hate being gifted photos! We share photos with family members and they can select and print what we want. Ive been given framed photo of nieces and nephews bit as much as I love them, they are not what I want on my walls. I only put my own babies on my walls - I don’t care what anyone else puts up in their house. My sister has all the babies in the family on her wall and send me a lot of photos of her children as she would like me to do similar, it’s my house though. I just thank her for the photo and don’t mention it again. Not on my walls.

AllMyPrettyOnes · 15/02/2021 11:09

@LaceyBetty

I would never give anyone framed photos. It is the frame that is the problem here. The presumption must be that they will be displayed. Unframed I wouldn't think is odd because they would go in a photo album or something. I agree that it is a weird thing to do.
It's a photo... how is that weird?

Christ, this place is just another world at times.

SteveBrexit · 15/02/2021 11:09

They are trying to be nice

just don't put them on the wall Hmm

or ... put them on the wall

what do you expect MN to tell you?

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