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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Given photos to put on our wall

231 replies

MariaK91 · 15/02/2021 10:42

Hi =)
DP's sister and husband had a baby and they've given us two photos to put up on our wall, one of each of us holding DN, they're just a bit smaller than A4 sized and you can't change the photos without destroying the frame.

Is this a normal thing to do without asking people first? It's a lovely gesture but we're not loving the photos they picked of us and the prints and frames are not great quality.

We don't want to offend by not putting them up but we honestly would have preferred to pick the photos ourselves and bought frames that match what we have around the house already :/ not really sure what to do!

AIBU to think its a bit weird to give someone framed photos of your baby to put up on their wall without checking with them first?

OP posts:
snowydaysandholidays · 16/02/2021 18:01

It is your wall and your choice what goes on there. Don't feel obliged to put it anywhere just put it in the album with the others and forget about it,

My mother had a painting 'commissioned' of our wedding day by what I can only imagine as the failing local artist at the time. It was the worst painting I have ever seen, I actually gasped when I opened it! Dh grunted as bit back the laughter.

We all sat there speechless in horror fumbling around for something to polite to say about it, when my mother piped up that she thought dh looked a little like a serial killer Grin hence the reason it was buried, and still is at the back of the attic hopefully being eaten slowly but surely by the mice...

pinkstripeycat · 16/02/2021 18:18

My weird SIL gave my me & DH and my PIL huge photos of our newborn son for Christmas. I was so angry as this was the present DH and I were going to give to PIL and it was our child not hers!

lily2403 · 16/02/2021 18:19

It’s your niece not like it’s a second cousin twice removed that you never see or will never have a relationship with

GameSetMatch · 16/02/2021 19:30

I hate photography on walls, I’d be putting them in an office space. Who on earth gives gifts like this!

DollyD65 · 16/02/2021 19:31

I think it's weird OP, and presumptuous. I love all my nieces, but no, I don't want pictures of them in frames. The only people we sent photos of our kids to were Grandparents....and then only after asking first.

Catflapkitkat · 16/02/2021 19:38

lily2403 The OP doesn't need a lecture on her own family tree. It doesn't matter how close the relative A4 (just shy of) photographs to be hung on the wall is presumptuous to say the least.

Carebear62 · 16/02/2021 19:42

Hate photos on walls and as my mum would say “ that’s what albums were invented for” 😂

DenisetheMenace · 16/02/2021 19:47

Glad to read other people think photos on walls are just somehow wrong. Always thought it was just me!

Wingedharpy · 16/02/2021 19:54

I think they do this in North Korea - but there it's photos of Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-Il, the Great and Dear leaders and it is compulsory to display them, prominently.
Just be glad you don't live there Op.😉

Bleachmycloths · 16/02/2021 19:55

They seem a bit big. Otherwise, you could have made a collage of small family photos. My SIL has done this and it looks really nice. They are clearly adoring parents and think you’ll be thrilled. It’s just one of those family things we have to put up with sometimes, like crappy Christmas presents.

Bleachmycloths · 16/02/2021 19:59

...also...
OP says the relatives should have asked first. But surely this would have been a problem, too?
‘Would you like photos of our beautiful baby?’
‘No, thanks.’
= embarrassing silence.

SarahLox77 · 16/02/2021 20:01

I used to have a whole box of tacky gifts given to us my our cat-feeding neighbour which I would only bring out and position round our home when we went away and gave her our keys. I'd do something similar in this situation, I think. It depends how often they visit.

Crackerofdoom · 16/02/2021 20:03

OP, this is what the downstairs loo is for

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 16/02/2021 20:13

I’d hate it, they would go in a drawer. I dislike clutter though so always think very careful about what we bring into the house that goes on display.

Some people don’t grasp the world doesn’t revolve around their children and most people aren’t interested. Grandparents are the only ones I would give pictures to if they asked for them.

It’s got to be one of the good points about SD, less being forced into pictures.

Cassandrainthenight · 16/02/2021 20:56

Ok, can't read past the first page, but it is either an entitled thing to do, or they are simpletons.
I wouldn't people please and wouldn't put it anywhere, whether they visit or not. I'm sure they are not gonna ask for an explanation, but if they do just say you didn't want to? Otherwise they might start showering you with more photos of their DC 😬😃

Cassandrainthenight · 16/02/2021 21:01

@Bleachmycloths, no they should have asked if she wanted them printed, let alone framed. If she was asked - would you like us to email you some pics of DN to print - she could have easily said yes and then it'd be up to her whether to have them printed/displayed etc

Morgysmum · 16/02/2021 22:26

Just put them up, when they visit, say on the mantelpiece.
I work for a gentleman who, had grand kids, but would only put there art work out on display, when they called round. He lived in a flat, with a video intercom. So could see which kids had come, than got out the art work, as they took the lift up. He said that way the kids, are happy. When they go, he puts them away.

MuddyPawPrintsEverywhere · 16/02/2021 22:40

I agree it's rather pushy to give a framed photo. It may just be that they're making a nice gesture, but it sends a message that they expect you to display the photo in that frame, and not everyone wants to hang lots of photos, especially if it's a photo of themselves that they don't really like.

I'd probably put them somewhere where they'll be seen but not dominating, unless you have enough advance warning to just pull them out when they're visiting. And after a while (a few months?), I'd feel free to remove the photo (cut it out of the frame) to put it in an album, or stow it away in a drawer.

CSIblonde · 16/02/2021 22:58

Reframe them. Say you dropped them & broke the orig frames. Then prop on a shelf with other decor as camouflage, in a room you're not using daily.

Onlinedilema · 16/02/2021 23:19

snowydays 😂😂😂

Mamanyt · 16/02/2021 23:59

I grew up with photos of my cousins all over my house, so it seems fairly normal to me. However, putting them in frames that can't be changed without destroying the frames seems a bit...unthinking. Maybe not odd, but certainly unthinking.

PeachyPeachTrees · 17/02/2021 13:22

My aunt painted a picture of me and my newborn and gave it to us as a gift. It is horrendous! It's in the loft, the spiders like it.

MrsWindass · 17/02/2021 13:46

@PeachyPeachTrees

My aunt painted a picture of me and my newborn and gave it to us as a gift. It is horrendous! It's in the loft, the spiders like it.
OMG how awful Grin
Barney60 · 17/02/2021 15:18

Agree, have had pictures from all sorts of family members over time, i dont put them up.

Alena03 · 17/02/2021 15:59

I hate when relatives do this, I don’t have picture frames of my own kids, why would I want yours? (I keep them in the photo album’s). People visit my house, they can see I only have proper art on the walls. All this gifting just adds to the clutter.

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