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AIBU?

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Original poster

Given photos to put on our wall

231 replies

MariaK91 · 15/02/2021 10:42

Hi =)
DP's sister and husband had a baby and they've given us two photos to put up on our wall, one of each of us holding DN, they're just a bit smaller than A4 sized and you can't change the photos without destroying the frame.

Is this a normal thing to do without asking people first? It's a lovely gesture but we're not loving the photos they picked of us and the prints and frames are not great quality.

We don't want to offend by not putting them up but we honestly would have preferred to pick the photos ourselves and bought frames that match what we have around the house already :/ not really sure what to do!

AIBU to think its a bit weird to give someone framed photos of your baby to put up on their wall without checking with them first?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 15/02/2021 11:37

My DC have given me framed photos of the DGC occasionally. But they know my taste in frames and I have lots of photos up (not on the walls) so that's ok.

Not a fan of family photos on walls.

ThaimForTea · 15/02/2021 11:38

It’s very trendy to have framed photos just leaning on mantle pieces or shelves at the min so this solves your problem.

Shove them in a drawer until a visit comes up, then artistically lean them on a shelf somewhere.

I get what you mean OP btw. Almost like them buying you wallpaper ha ha Wink

Timpeall · 15/02/2021 11:38

I wouldn't buy someone any item of decor unless I knew it was a brand or aesthetic they were very much into. Photos on walls, especially this of photo, look naff. And photos of someone's else's child, even a lovely little niece of nephew that I'm really fond of would not be displayed.

I'd thank them for them and just never display them.

BlackCatShadow · 15/02/2021 11:39

I never really get why people think that other people will be interested in having photos of their kids. Most of my family are on Facebook, so they all see plenty of pictures of my kids, but I doubt any of them would want framed pictures for their walls. It's the same with calendars, coasters, etc. with pictures of your baby/kids on it. I'm sure if someone wanted a particular photo, they would just ask.

Fuckitsstillraining · 15/02/2021 11:42

I'd find it weird, I don't really display photos at all, hve a small few of my son as a baby and at various ages growing up, one of my husband with his parents not long after he was adopted and one of him with his birth mother before his adoption, I don't have wedding pics etc displayed, all are in album and stored remotely. I have numerous albums which are stored with care but I don't like walls or surfaces covered in photos.

BigButtons · 15/02/2021 11:42

Years ago my mum and her partner had professional photos done with them and their dogs( they were big dogs). The photos had them posed in a kind of " look at us here we are with our massive dogs and are clearly in control of them" way. I thought they were awful, but thanked her and put them on the wall. She was staying with us at the time.
As soon as she left we took them down and (ex) dp put an album of Kylie Minogue in their place. It was a joke.
Time went by and we forgot about it all( including the KM calendar on the wall) until mother next came to stay and was aghast that the photos were no longer there but a Kylie calendar was.
I had to do some quick talking bollocks about taking them to be reframed. They have never been put up again.
I hate those kind of formal pics at the best of times.

BigFatLiar · 15/02/2021 11:43

Photos for the wall are quite a personal thing.

Before we were married my parents gave my BF a couple of prints for his birthday, They were of me as a toddler. He put them on his wall, I was a bit Shock but he thought they were nice. We still have them up on the wall, when the girls were little he used to explain that that was mummy when she was a little girl. It took some time for them to accept that mummy was once a little girl.

HostaFireAndIce · 15/02/2021 11:46

when we had DD a friend brought us a frame with the first picture we sent around for the birth announcement in there and it was so lovely

That is lovely, but it's a bit different when it's a picture of your DC - I think that's thoughtful, but it's a bit different if someone gives you two A4 pictures of their DC for your wall.

Aquagirl19 · 15/02/2021 11:46

I agree with you about someone else choosing photos and frames etc for your home but at the same time I think you just have to see it as the nice gesture it is. My sister has given me framed photos in the past of me holding my niece and like you they weren't really to my liking in that they weren't particularly good photos of me and weren't in frames that went with the rest of the decor. However she did is as a nice thing and I have to remember that.

Cam2020 · 15/02/2021 11:50

I've only ever done this for grandparents and would not be offended if they weren't on display somewhere visible or frames, we're changed.

Quartz2208 · 15/02/2021 11:51

DS (now 8) notices and gets slightly put out by the fact that for his pfb sister we got my parents table mats with her face on it and a clock with little pictures all the way round of her and a mug with her face on it (and a mousemat I think) and we sent round CHristmas cards to everyone with a picture of her on it. We also have a beautiful canvas of her at around 18 months.

We look back now and laugh because it was all over the top (not when DS notices that they are all of her) and we have done things for my parents since that include both of them (for him).

Its a fairly normal (albeit over the top) thing you do when you have a first baby!

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 15/02/2021 11:51

My exSIL did this, I put it in a drawer as it really wasn't a good picture and my wall space is exclusively for my own kids.

RaspberryCoulis · 15/02/2021 11:52

I don't like photos on walls at all. So even if it was the most beautiful photo in the world, it wouldn't be going on my wall.

And what the fuck is a "nibling"?

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 15/02/2021 11:52

Sorry @Quartz2208 but place mats with a Child's face on it made me laugh, mine would you have gravy or ketchup smeared all over their "faces" all the time Grin

AdelaideK · 15/02/2021 11:53

I got a birthday present of a photo of SIL, BIL and their baby in a frame. Not something I wanted but I was polite.

MIL did suggest I take the photo out and use the frame Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 15/02/2021 11:53

We did do a photo frame of photos of PFB as part of Christmas presents but they were fairly small, contained photos of their child with our child and tbf he had been critically ill so we were perhaps a a bit PFB++. Even i think poor quality prints and the need to drill holes on your wall is a bit too much.

Timpeall · 15/02/2021 11:55

@Quartz2208

DS (now 8) notices and gets slightly put out by the fact that for his pfb sister we got my parents table mats with her face on it and a clock with little pictures all the way round of her and a mug with her face on it (and a mousemat I think) and we sent round CHristmas cards to everyone with a picture of her on it. We also have a beautiful canvas of her at around 18 months.

We look back now and laugh because it was all over the top (not when DS notices that they are all of her) and we have done things for my parents since that include both of them (for him).

Its a fairly normal (albeit over the top) thing you do when you have a first baby!

Wow, placemats, mugs, and clocks. You were hitting those personalised merch websites HARD!

Grin Grin Grin

MrsWindass · 15/02/2021 11:56

@RaspberryCoulis

I don't like photos on walls at all. So even if it was the most beautiful photo in the world, it wouldn't be going on my wall.

And what the fuck is a "nibling"?

Yes I wondered this too - is it a woke way of referring to a niece or nephew or just to cover both bases as OP did not say sex of the framed child 😂
MrsWindass · 15/02/2021 11:56

@Quartz2208

DS (now 8) notices and gets slightly put out by the fact that for his pfb sister we got my parents table mats with her face on it and a clock with little pictures all the way round of her and a mug with her face on it (and a mousemat I think) and we sent round CHristmas cards to everyone with a picture of her on it. We also have a beautiful canvas of her at around 18 months.

We look back now and laugh because it was all over the top (not when DS notices that they are all of her) and we have done things for my parents since that include both of them (for him).

Its a fairly normal (albeit over the top) thing you do when you have a first baby!

Oh we only do that with the cats 😂
SleepingStandingUp · 15/02/2021 11:57

Nibling is niece or nephew of a sibling, I don't think it's mean to cover all genders just using the n of niece and nephew

Timpeall · 15/02/2021 11:57

Nibling is just a collective word for niece and nephew.

Why do people need to cry 'woke' at anything that's new to them.

Zzzzzz

Cadent · 15/02/2021 11:58

YANBU. This would be one of those things I’d never get round to doing.

bananaboats · 15/02/2021 11:59

I def wouldn't want to display large pictures of someone else's children in my home so wouldn't thank you for this gift but I would prob just stick them in a cupboard and forget about them, if you display them every time they come around they might think you like them and give you more for future occasions!

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 15/02/2021 11:59

Ugh I was I could domestos the word nibling out of my brain.

Cadent · 15/02/2021 12:00

I bet the people complaining about nibling use lots of words that didn’t exist 10 years ago 🙄