Given photos to put on our wall

[MariaK91]

Hi =)
DP's sister and husband had a baby and they've given us two photos to put up on our wall, one of each of us holding DN, they're just a bit smaller than A4 sized and you can't change the photos without destroying the frame.

Is this a normal thing to do without asking people first? It's a lovely gesture but we're not loving the photos they picked of us and the prints and frames are not great quality.

We don't want to offend by not putting them up but we honestly would have preferred to pick the photos ourselves and bought frames that match what we have around the house already :/ not really sure what to do!

AIBU to think its a bit weird to give someone framed photos of your baby to put up on their wall without checking with them first?

My SIL/BIL gave us framed pictures of there precious 1st born twice a year for 5 years. I never displayed any of them. We then got an annual school photo- ditto.

I don’t like photos on walls, whatever they’re of. Just don’t look right to me 🤷‍♀️

Nor everyone likes photographs on the wall. I don't unless visiting the NPG. But it's easy to get around. Can you stretch to an A4 album? Put the photographs in there - say you prefer family photographs in one place where you can take them out, move them about etc.

First babies don't get to dictate your home décor

It's an odd choice of gift, giving anyone something to display in their home is risky if you've not discussed with them first- particularly photos.

I think first time new parents can get a bit caught up or over excited. I agree it's usually only really the parents and grandparents who would appreciate this type of thing. I've never forced photos of my dc on anyone, wouldn't dream of gifting db and sil framed pics of them and equally don't expect them to do it to us when they have their first baby in a few months (as much I will be happy to be involved in their baby's life and will adore it!). I can imagine DBs face if I handed him a framed A4 photo 😂

I think a polite thank you and then never quite get round to hanging it is enough.

I think giving photos is quite common, yes. I agree with what others have said - pop them on the wall when they visit.

I know for an actual fact that my grandma rearranges the photos in her living room depending on who's coming to visit - moving the ones of the visitors to be in the prime position before they arrive. We all know she does this as there's usually photos, as she lives far away so a visit is a rare event really! We all laugh about it together.

Just don’t put them up.

Do they have to be wall mounted? Aren’t the frames the ones you can either put on a wall or stand on a surface?

Before I had my own children, I had a few photos of friends' children plus Bruce's and nephews, once I had my own, I am seriously NOT interested in having photos of anyone else's. I still only have about 4 of my own on display. All the others got put in a cupboard for a few years then thrown out.
I doubt if anyone would actually have the balls to ask why their children's photos are not on display, but I am aware this is MN and anything goes!

Ditto @LindaEllen !!!

I remember making a surprise visit to mil and finding the dcs relegated to the back of the display cabinet when on every other - planned - visit they were at the front. Rumbled !!

I think it’s nice to give photos but not in a Frame. I’d much prefer to get them framed myself to match ones we already have looks a bit weird having all wooden or black then suddenly getting a mirrored diamante encrusted frame (my sil did that to us 🤣)

Also tbh although I love having pictures of my nieces and nephews and willingly pass ones of my own kids to my bil/ sil / siblings I think it’s nice to just ask if they’d like a photo not just assume

Something similar happened to me over Christmas and I was a bit about it too

BIL and SIL did this for a couple of years, they still do it for PIL and GPIL.
A photo shoot for every occasion and accompanying merchandise, mugs, cushions, blankets, socks, canvases, calendars, foot prints, handprints...
We don't really have pictures up of our own children so not really wanting to display a vast collection of DN memorabilia. PIL have a playroom for the GC, it looks like a shrine for DN, although now their golden child has had golden children it's there's a takeover in progress!

Hadalifeonce

Lol at Bruce's

@DDIJ they live close to us so never need to stay over, but they have been using it when the baby needs a nap when they’ve come over in the past.

@CounsellorTroi They have to be wall mounted but they could be put on a surface if they were propped up against something, so that might be the way forward

No I don’t think this is normal unless the person has asked for them, as photos and frames in fact any house decor is such a personal thing.

I was given a4 size photos of a family members child and was told I could buy a frame and put them on the wall. Another time she gave me a photo frame and told me i could put a specific photo in that included her to display.

Only thing is I don’t do photos In frames on display and haven’t even got any of my own dc on show. All photos are in an album.
She knew this so why she suddenly thought I’d start displaying photos of her and her child, I don’t know was all a bit odd.

If your not keen on the frames or the chosen photos don’t display them.

@MummytoCSJH

I agree with you, my photo frames match throughout my entire house (and I even have a bad of spare frames for the future in case they stop selling them)! There would be no point giving me a photo in a non-matching frame.

I'm the same. All photo frames in my house are the same colour. I don't really like being gifted anything home decor-wise, as it's such a personal choice.

I wouldn't be keen to display any photos not of my choosing in my house. In my case the fact the frames don't match would be my first excuse as to why they aren't displayed.

I agree it's a bit weird. When my baby was born I was gifted three pieces of 'artwork', two depictions of her and one abstract thing. They are... not great. They're lurking around in the spare room and lockdown has meant we haven't had to haul them out when the gifter visits, so... small silver lining to lockdown there!

'Just smaller than A4' is bigger than any photos I have around of my own family, so definitely wouldn't want something that size, let alone in a frame I didn't like.
I'd pick a place I could 'lean' them when they came to visit eg in front of books on a bookcase

@Kottbullar wow! sounds like they could open a whole gift shop!!! I've known a few people to paint their babies bums and then give people bum prints as gifts to frame... or go to a clay workshop and make bum print coasters... at least we didnt get a bum print!!

Oooops, don't know who Bruce is, but I have nieces, and auto correct.

This is one of those “only on mumsnet” things I think.

Well, I'm on Mumsnet so perhaps I don't count, but it happened in my real life too. My SIL got a giant canvas print for my MIL of her (MIL) holding their PFB. My MIL hates canvas prints anyway. She had exactly the same reaction as the OP. Was it okay to just put it in the cupboard under the stairs?

I wouldn’t give anyone a photo unless they asked. I don’t have photos of my kids on my walls, just a couple of nice baby ones in frames on the mantle piece. I definitely wouldn’t want a photo of any one else’s child on my wall.

It’s definitely a bit weird .

I OTOH think it's really thoughtful. If they emailed you a picture it would just add another task to your to-do list - of having to print the picture, find a frame, etc. Just prop it up on your sideboard or mantelpiece and replace with Easter cards or decs when it rolls around?

FWIW when we had DD a friend brought us a frame with the first picture we sent around for the birth announcement in there and it was so lovely - as new parents especially (although probably equally valid mid-lockdown) I didn't have the bandwidth to print / frame pics then, and it was lovely to have a picture properly ready to go on our wall.

First world problems right here! Just don’t put it up. Shove it in a draw. All parents think their kids are wonderful hence the pictures. Same as people with kids forget those without aren’t bothered about hearing about their kids!