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AIBU?

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Original poster

Given photos to put on our wall

231 replies

MariaK91 · 15/02/2021 10:42

Hi =)
DP's sister and husband had a baby and they've given us two photos to put up on our wall, one of each of us holding DN, they're just a bit smaller than A4 sized and you can't change the photos without destroying the frame.

Is this a normal thing to do without asking people first? It's a lovely gesture but we're not loving the photos they picked of us and the prints and frames are not great quality.

We don't want to offend by not putting them up but we honestly would have preferred to pick the photos ourselves and bought frames that match what we have around the house already :/ not really sure what to do!

AIBU to think its a bit weird to give someone framed photos of your baby to put up on their wall without checking with them first?

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 15/02/2021 12:18

I don't mind a small pic (like a school one), but a large A4 one? who has shelf space for that. Its a bit OTT.

Its not a present I'd want as an aunt. its all about them and nothing about me. If I had ASKED for an up to date picture, then fine, but if I haven't, its not a gift.

LizBennet · 15/02/2021 12:21

Today I learned the word nibling...

I don’t think it’s weird, but I have 10 “niblings” and their parents have never given me photographs of any of them, although I have ones I’ve taken myself of them 🤔

EachBleachBlairTrump · 15/02/2021 12:25

At least it wasn't an A1 size canvas of your darling nibling in a bucket on a faux fur rug, with a giant pink bow strapped to her head. Just saying hypothetically, this definitely didn't happen to me...

MagicSummer · 15/02/2021 12:26

Why would anyone want pictures of somebody else's children displayed in their house?

Timpeall · 15/02/2021 12:26

oh those baby in a bucket photos. Eeek. Or the ones where they pose a newborn with its hands holding up their face, as if they're having a deep thought...

mindutopia · 15/02/2021 12:27

I wouldn't hang up photos of other people's children in my house. I also wouldn't really hang up a photo of myself in my house (except if it was a family photo with my own dc). It is a bit odd. I would just put them in the back of a cupboard somewhere.

I have photos of myself that my mum framed and sent me from a special day (not like a wedding day, etc. but another nice day we had). It's not at all a flattering photo of me. And it's odd to hang up an (incredibly unflattering) photo of just myself in my house (also A4 sized). They are in a drawer somewhere, and maybe my dc will find them interesting one day when they are adults, but I have no intention of hanging them in my house. Even though the thought was nice.

LizBennet · 15/02/2021 12:28

@EachBleachBlairTrump

At least it wasn't an A1 size canvas of your darling nibling in a bucket on a faux fur rug, with a giant pink bow strapped to her head. Just saying hypothetically, this definitely didn't happen to me...
Aah see I hate those posed baby pictures (I realise I’m in a minority 😬) and I’d cringe in case a visitor thought it was my baby.
Thislittlefinger123 · 15/02/2021 12:30

Yes that is slightly odd to me. They're probably wrapped up in how wonderful their DC is and assume everyone wants to gaze lovingly at pictures of them all day long Grin

A polite thank you and put them in a drawer. I like to choose what pictures I put up on the walls (and don't like photos on the walls only artwork).

cabbagevan · 15/02/2021 12:32

Put them up on the wall by the stairs then they are up and you aren't looking at them all the time.

Cam2020 · 15/02/2021 12:35

Aah see I hate those posed baby pictures (I realise I’m in a minority 😬) and I’d cringe in case a visitor thought it was my baby.

You're certainly not alone, I despise those pictures too! I find them so odd.

Stompythedinosaur · 15/02/2021 12:40

I think it sounds like a totally batshit thing to do! I would assume they are having a moment of madness where they've forgotten that their baby isn't the centre of everyone's world.

BlackCatShadow · 15/02/2021 12:40

A friend had one done of her baby wrapped up with a big flower on her head and photoshopped onto a dreamcatcher. She thought it was just so adorable.

Verashat · 15/02/2021 12:41

My sister does this with both sets of grandparents, sends framed photos of her dc every year. So they put them up and when I visit I am surrounded by them.
I have never done it, I think my dc are fabulous but pretty sure that no one else does.

SavoyCabbage · 15/02/2021 12:43

I think you should shove it in the loft but order a clock like @Quartz2208 so that when they come round you've one up-manned them. They will feel like fools for only providing you with a framed photo then.

Knitwit99 · 15/02/2021 12:46

I think giving someone 2 A4ish sized framed photos of you holding their baby is overkill. A couple of 6x4 or 7x5 photos you can frame yourself or pin to a noticeboard depending on your preference is quite enough. Luckily they can't come in your house for a while and their baby will probably have changed a fair bit by then so you can legitimately ask for new (smaller) photos.

thecatsthecats · 15/02/2021 12:47

@Cam2020

Aah see I hate those posed baby pictures (I realise I’m in a minority 😬) and I’d cringe in case a visitor thought it was my baby.

You're certainly not alone, I despise those pictures too! I find them so odd.

Not alone! I hate studio portraits of anyone, but I find ones of kids incredibly naff. They always look so unreal and anodyne, like you forgot to remove the stock photo from the frame. I'd rather see a less than perfect normal photo.

Same goes for caricatures.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/02/2021 12:47

I agree with people it's an awkward sort of gift. I've done little photos or fridge magnets for mines grandparents. Wouldn't go bigger than that.

Also never heard of the word nibling. It might grow on me to be fair.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/02/2021 12:47

@Knitwit99

I think giving someone 2 A4ish sized framed photos of you holding their baby is overkill. A couple of 6x4 or 7x5 photos you can frame yourself or pin to a noticeboard depending on your preference is quite enough. Luckily they can't come in your house for a while and their baby will probably have changed a fair bit by then so you can legitimately ask for new (smaller) photos.
It's a hassle to go to town to buy a frame though isn't it. I'd much rather get an already framed photo.
TheCrowening · 15/02/2021 12:52

I love my nieces but I know what they look like, I don’t need photos on my wall.

Out of politeness in your position I’d prop them up somewhere when they came to visit, then stick them in a drawer.

Sceptre86 · 15/02/2021 12:52

Its sweet but in my own home I like to choose the pictures I put up. My dsis got me canvases of my dd, one of which she is in her pjs and another which is like a collage but the pictures are not all facing the same way. I would not have chosen those pics and told that I would rather choose my own pics if my kids to put up.we did put them up but if we ever move house, I won't.

Yanbu, they could have got you a keyring instead of something that affects the look of your home.

mumof2exhausted · 15/02/2021 12:54

I think it’s really sweet but then I’m close to my sister and my nephew. Am guessing it’s their first baby and they are super cute excited

TheCrowening · 15/02/2021 12:55

@Gwenhwyfar

"but barely anyone wants pictures of other people’s children on their walls."

Not true. Plenty of childless aunts and uncles would want those photos.

Why childless? 😂😂😂 surely people have similar relationships with their nieces and nephews regardless whether they have their own children. I doubt that many childless people are hankering for pictures of babies to hang on the wall.
mam0918 · 15/02/2021 12:57

Physical photos for involved or want to be involved grandparents = yes

Photos for family who have specific interest in collecting family photos = yes (physical usually for elder members like great grandparents, digital often better for those doing family trees)

Photos randomly for anyone elses = no

I have only just started hanging photos of my own children I dont want any of other peoples (unless in the future its my grandkids), I can usually see my friends kids and niece/nephews photos on social media anyway so why would I want a canvas on my livingroom wall.

MrsClatterbuck · 15/02/2021 12:58

I would hate this. We don't have any photographs on any wall or displayed anywhere. I love my dsis children to bits and have lots of lovely photos but she is not offended by me not displaying them. Our dm has a couple of photos framed. I used to use magnetic frames to display them on my fridge freezer but unfortunately can't do that anymore as I now have an integrated one.

BlackCatShadow · 15/02/2021 12:58

Not true. Plenty of childless aunts and uncles would want those photos.

Yeah, I don't believe this either. A guy friend of mine who is single and childless often gets these kinds of presents from his brother and his wife of their kids. I really don't think he is that interested.

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