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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report her Covid breach?

342 replies

ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:19

I admit I'm a bit bitter and prone to thoughts of revenge so I could do with some rational thoughts here.
My recently ex husband has a new girlfriend. She records her and her child's life on Facebook. It's all on public, no filters!
In January her parents drove 300miles to visit her for 'much needed cuddles'
She has just driven 300 miles with her child to visit them for a half term break. It's all mud masks and lovely walks and mummy time!
It's really grinding my gears! When some of us are playing by the rules and not driving 10 miles to see our loved ones.
I really want to report her as I know her address, car reg etc.
All public on Facebook!
To report a Covid breach though you have to give your own details and my ex has a temper! I don't want my name to be implicated.
Should I just leave it alone and get a life?
What would you do?

OP posts:
SylviaPlath1984 · 15/02/2021 00:46

@ArabellaRockerfella

In my heart I know you're right. I don't want to be the vindictive ex wife. This just brings out the worst in me.
We do things we never usually would when we are hurting so much. I'm so sorry it's painful right now.
Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:47

@12frogsincoats

OP have you only even been in relationships with men who have never had a relationship before? If not then do you believe their exes should get revenge on you?
No! Met my husband at 18. First real relationship. Married for 23yrs, 3 kids, until recently :(
OP posts:
Newcastleteacake · 15/02/2021 00:47

Would you want to report her if she was anyone else?

Life is too short to waste your time on bitterness and hatred. Block and move on, concentrate on yourself.

I know revenge can feel good in the moment but it doesn't in the long term.

RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 00:50

@tangoboxing

It's recommended. Support bubbles are there for support when needed. 300 miles away is not a realistic support bubble.

^ rubbish.

There is no distance defined in law & guidance can't be enforced. She's doing nothing wrong.

You're being obtuse.

It might not be against the law but it's hardly recommended.

I don't agree with OP but if everyone started driving 300 miles for support that would be ridiculous.

RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 00:50

Oh bless you OP.

RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 00:51

@12frogsincoats

OP have you only even been in relationships with men who have never had a relationship before? If not then do you believe their exes should get revenge on you?
Wind your neck in. It's obvious what's going on here.
Emeraldshamrock · 15/02/2021 00:51

It is understandable you are furiously hurt the stress of work and lockdown will make it worse you need to grieve the relationship what helped me years ago was telling myself my ex who I knew and trusted was dead not physically but over mentally and emotionally the person he was to me was gone.
Honestly block her take back control there relationship may or may not last don't waste your precious time watching they don't deserve any more of you. FlowersWine

Fuckingcrustybread · 15/02/2021 00:53

MN cunts are out in force again.
@ArabellaRockerfella I'd try and stay away, it must be infuriating but in the end it's really nothing to do with you.

12frogsincoats · 15/02/2021 00:53

@RootyT00t Not obvious to me. Can you explain?

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:54

@Emeraldshamrock

It is understandable you are furiously hurt the stress of work and lockdown will make it worse you need to grieve the relationship what helped me years ago was telling myself my ex who I knew and trusted was dead not physically but over mentally and emotionally the person he was to me was gone. Honestly block her take back control there relationship may or may not last don't waste your precious time watching they don't deserve any more of you. FlowersWine
Thank you. It's tough
OP posts:
JosephineBaker · 15/02/2021 00:54

Oh you poor love! Flowers

I wish him nothing but toothache and warts.

Emeraldshamrock · 15/02/2021 00:56

Not obvious to me. Can you explain? Confused An ex girlfriend and ex wife of 23 years with 3 DC are very different.
Your comment was ridiculously nah nah nah anyway.

RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 00:56

[quote 12frogsincoats]@RootyT00t Not obvious to me. Can you explain?[/quote]
Her husband has left her for a younger woman.

Im presuming OP didn't do that to anyone else so her wanting revenge and everyone she's ever been in a relationship withs ex wanting revenge is two different things.

RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 00:57

💖 for you OP

The good news is, your feelings are normal. And you didn't do anything. Yay! That shows what a bloody strong woman you are.

Now, all you need to do is figure out how you are going to make sure that you don't do anything like that while feeling like this. One baby step at a time.

Emeraldshamrock · 15/02/2021 00:59

@ArabellaRockerfella It will get easier.
We'll support you if you want to block her and help you get strong through the fb withdrawal.
Otherwise slimy ex might weasle back in if/when she dumps him. Wink

12frogsincoats · 15/02/2021 00:59

At no point did OP mention this was the woman her husband cheated on her with. If so I truly apologise for my comment OP as that is obviously a very different situation.

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:59

@JosephineBaker

Oh you poor love! Flowers

I wish him nothing but toothache and warts.

That'll do it :) Genital warts :) :)
OP posts:
RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 01:00

@12frogsincoats

At no point did OP mention this was the woman her husband cheated on her with. If so I truly apologise for my comment OP as that is obviously a very different situation.
Her second update said that he left her for a younger model . This woman.
12frogsincoats · 15/02/2021 01:01

@RootyT00t As I said, I apologise. As someone with autism it is difficult to pick up things like this if they're merely hinted at IYSWIM.

RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 01:02

[quote 12frogsincoats]@RootyT00t As I said, I apologise. As someone with autism it is difficult to pick up things like this if they're merely hinted at IYSWIM. [/quote]
Yeah course. I apologise for the winding neck in comment too. There is so much bile on here I respond unecessary sometimes.

Emeraldshamrock · 15/02/2021 01:03

As I said, I apologise. As someone with autism it is difficult to pick up things like this if they're merely hinted at IYSWIM
It wasn't hinted it was on the thread.
Maybe read the OP updates it'll give you a clearer picture next time. Smile

12frogsincoats · 15/02/2021 01:04

@Emeraldshamrock

As I said, I apologise. As someone with autism it is difficult to pick up things like this if they're merely hinted at IYSWIM It wasn't hinted it was on the thread. Maybe read the OP updates it'll give you a clearer picture next time. Smile
I read all the updates. Just didn't pick up on the meaning.
CausingChaos2 · 15/02/2021 01:06

How many times a day are you looking her up? It sounds like it’s becoming an unhealthy fixation. Block her and focus on your own life. Watching what she’s up to won’t make you happy, and social media only shows the highlights of people’s lives anyway.

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 01:07

Ok. Thanks all.
Got to go to work now.
Keep safe.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 01:08

@CausingChaos2

How many times a day are you looking her up? It sounds like it’s becoming an unhealthy fixation. Block her and focus on your own life. Watching what she’s up to won’t make you happy, and social media only shows the highlights of people’s lives anyway.
You're right. Too much! That's for sure.
OP posts: