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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report her Covid breach?

342 replies

ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:19

I admit I'm a bit bitter and prone to thoughts of revenge so I could do with some rational thoughts here.
My recently ex husband has a new girlfriend. She records her and her child's life on Facebook. It's all on public, no filters!
In January her parents drove 300miles to visit her for 'much needed cuddles'
She has just driven 300 miles with her child to visit them for a half term break. It's all mud masks and lovely walks and mummy time!
It's really grinding my gears! When some of us are playing by the rules and not driving 10 miles to see our loved ones.
I really want to report her as I know her address, car reg etc.
All public on Facebook!
To report a Covid breach though you have to give your own details and my ex has a temper! I don't want my name to be implicated.
Should I just leave it alone and get a life?
What would you do?

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 15/02/2021 00:34

@rooty where in the law does it say she can't have a support bubble that isn't local? This is just guidance not law.

Mockolate · 15/02/2021 00:35

Why are you looking at her FB in the first place, though?
Why torture yourself?
Block her so you can't see anything.

firesidetartan · 15/02/2021 00:35

She has no filters on her social media! All there for the world to see!!

Stop looking. Just stop.

RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 00:35

I'm sure it's hard. But covid breaches are noy there to be reported by a bitter ex. The police are too busy for this. They are supposed to be genuine concern. Yours isn't.

Emeraldshamrock · 15/02/2021 00:35

Block her don't indulge in her FB.
You'll feel better not seeing her life.
I wouldn't report her, someone probably will it is not worth the stress it will bring to your door.

SylviaPlath1984 · 15/02/2021 00:36

I'm really sorry you are so hurt that you are having these feelings and thoughts.

But regardless of what you think of her, she has a little girl who I'm sure loved every second of seeing her grandparents and you never know how much the grandparents needed those cuddles too. I know I'll probably get flamed for this but as a mum with a little girl who regularly cries herself to sleep because she misses her grandparents so much... I can't help but feel for her. And frankly, if it wasn't an aeroplane or a ferry away, I'd most likely have taken her to them by now, they are equally as heartbroken to have missed a year of her life.

RootyT00t · 15/02/2021 00:36

[quote jeaux90]@rooty where in the law does it say she can't have a support bubble that isn't local? This is just guidance not law. [/quote]
It's recommended. Support bubbles are there for support when needed. 300 miles away is not a realistic support bubble.

I don't agree with OPs actions btw but let's not pretend that's right.

tangoboxing · 15/02/2021 00:37

Not 300 miles away she can't.

^ yup she can. There is no distance defined in law for any bubble.

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:37

@RootyT00t

Right.

I assume you're not friends with her on facebook though.

No, not a friend.
OP posts:
Veuvestar · 15/02/2021 00:37

You’d have to have an emergency reason for that big a journey, like leaving a partner or a cancer diagnosis. That’s my point, you just don’t know.

Pollypudding · 15/02/2021 00:37

Rise above OP, rise above - oh and block her too- you don’t need this in your headspace Flowers

SylviaPlath1984 · 15/02/2021 00:38

@Pollypudding

Rise above OP, rise above - oh and block her too- you don’t need this in your headspace Flowers
Yes another good point...

Think of your own mental well-being op. Block her and focus on you x

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:38

@Emeraldshamrock

Block her don't indulge in her FB. You'll feel better not seeing her life. I wouldn't report her, someone probably will it is not worth the stress it will bring to your door.
I know your right :(
OP posts:
tangoboxing · 15/02/2021 00:38

It's recommended. Support bubbles are there for support when needed. 300 miles away is not a realistic support bubble.

^ rubbish.

There is no distance defined in law & guidance can't be enforced. She's doing nothing wrong.

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:39

@Pollypudding

Rise above OP, rise above - oh and block her too- you don’t need this in your headspace Flowers
I know! My common sense head says this too. But my lonely, sad head wants them to hurt like I am :(
OP posts:
ludothedog · 15/02/2021 00:39

Who are you going to report to? Do you think the Police are going to investigate a trip that's already happened, to see her parents, when she can just say they are in a bubble?

Honestly, they have better things to do with their time. Please block her of social media and put aside any idea of revenge. Its really very ugly and in the long term will damage you more. If you're bored try studying something or volunteering for a charity.

SquirtleSquad · 15/02/2021 00:40

@RootyT00t actually she can. Gov website says "If you form a support bubble, it is best if this is with a household who live locally."

I'm not saying she should.. but she can.

Emeraldshamrock · 15/02/2021 00:40

I'm sorry your DH hurt you. You need to take a deep breath you're stalking her fb jotting down her car reg.
That is not right.
Was she the OW?
She probably acts extra gushy online knowing you are watching.
Block and move on.

AIMD · 15/02/2021 00:40

This is so bad for you.
No don’t report her. What would it achieve for you? Other than making you look like the spiteful ex?!

You need to block her or whatever toy can do to stop yourself seeking out information on social media. Easier said that done I know.

Is it fairly recently you split up?

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/02/2021 00:40

Your ex has a temper.

Don't call down trouble on the current recipient of his moods. Sad

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:40

@ludothedog

Who are you going to report to? Do you think the Police are going to investigate a trip that's already happened, to see her parents, when she can just say they are in a bubble?

Honestly, they have better things to do with their time. Please block her of social media and put aside any idea of revenge. Its really very ugly and in the long term will damage you more. If you're bored try studying something or volunteering for a charity.

I'm not bored, I'm a front line worker. That's what makes me more angry!
OP posts:
SquirtleSquad · 15/02/2021 00:42

Oh, you're a front line worker Smile

JosephineBaker · 15/02/2021 00:45

@tangoboxing

It's recommended. Support bubbles are there for support when needed. 300 miles away is not a realistic support bubble.

^ rubbish.

There is no distance defined in law & guidance can't be enforced. She's doing nothing wrong.

Tosh.

We’re in national lockdown; we aren’t allowed to leave our areas. Police fined a woman last week in Merseyside for driving 9 miles to take her children to exercise on a nearby beach.

Unless this new woman is Dominic Cummings in drag, she can’t cross the country for a visit.

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:45

In my heart I know you're right.
I don't want to be the vindictive ex wife. This just brings out the worst in me.

OP posts:
12frogsincoats · 15/02/2021 00:46

OP have you only even been in relationships with men who have never had a relationship before? If not then do you believe their exes should get revenge on you?