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Original poster

To report her Covid breach?

342 replies

ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:19

I admit I'm a bit bitter and prone to thoughts of revenge so I could do with some rational thoughts here.
My recently ex husband has a new girlfriend. She records her and her child's life on Facebook. It's all on public, no filters!
In January her parents drove 300miles to visit her for 'much needed cuddles'
She has just driven 300 miles with her child to visit them for a half term break. It's all mud masks and lovely walks and mummy time!
It's really grinding my gears! When some of us are playing by the rules and not driving 10 miles to see our loved ones.
I really want to report her as I know her address, car reg etc.
All public on Facebook!
To report a Covid breach though you have to give your own details and my ex has a temper! I don't want my name to be implicated.
Should I just leave it alone and get a life?
What would you do?

OP posts:
TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe · 15/02/2021 10:36

@worried3012

I looked into this a month it so ago re travelling for support bubble as my sister lives alone 100-150 miles away. The Government website has not specified that it is illegal to travel far to your support bubble but does recommend if possible to stay local. Therefore with no actual rules in place it's okay if absolutely necessary to travel that far as it isn't 'breaking a rule'. Rules and recommendations are two different things.

Personally I think this recommendation is open to abuse but you can only blame the Gov for that and not being clear.

As for the OP, I would suggest letting it go. I don't think you would feel better for reporting., the best thing you can do for yourself is blocking. Out of sight, out of mind..

This is correct, there is no limit to distance for support bubbles. From Gov.uk:

The list of reasons you can leave your home and local area include, but are not limited to:
...
visiting those in your support bubble – or your childcare bubble for childcare

HappyasLaura · 15/02/2021 10:39

Would you report a good friend of yours if he/she did this?

Sarcobaleno · 15/02/2021 10:41

@Tiktokersmiracle

Jesus

What is wrong with people?

It's got nothing to do with you what she does.
Or anyone else.
It doesn't directly affect you.
If they catch covid that's on them

I really do wonder what all the self important curtain twitchers will do once we go back to normal.

A year in and you've not got this...

It's not just on you. It's on everyone. Someone I know had saw his mum against the rules just like this person. He tested positive the next day. He had passed COVID on to his mum. His mum just died.

plominoagain · 15/02/2021 10:43

If you report her - what then ? Is it going to make you feel any better ? Even short term ? Or is it going to make you feel ashamed and even more miserable in the long run ? I guarantee you , police won’t be going round to her house , they don’t have the time or the resources, and then you’ll have achieved nothing . Nothing at all.

Sarcobaleno · 15/02/2021 10:43

*not had saw his mum... sorry grammar nerds

Yesmate · 15/02/2021 10:47

It’s wrong, she’s not following the rules. She can’t have more than one support bubble. Report her if you like but to be honest I would focus more on trying to be happy yourself. Stop looking at her social media. Just because it’s there for the world to see, doesn’t mean to W world has to look. You are actively typing in her name and looking. Stop it.

isthismylifenow · 15/02/2021 10:47

Get revenge another way OP.

By moving on from your ex and it wont harm anyone if he sees that you are happy and able to move forward without him.

I know the feeling. I have been there.

Perhaps take break from facebook completely. And don't engage or put yourself in a position that is not good for you right now.

In time, things will be better. Flowers

brogueish · 15/02/2021 10:54

It's funny that OP is being accused of being a stalker when other PPs are researching every post she's made to find out our job and the timeline of her relationship breakdown...

As this woman's interpretation of the rules may be putting OP's 3 children (and her) at an increased risk of Covid, due to the fortnightly contact with the ex, it kind of is her business.

However...OP, as so many others have already said, rise above this. He's an ex because he started making poor choices, this woman is just one of them. Be kind to yourself Flowers

5128gap · 15/02/2021 10:59

If you think the woman is a threat to public safety and you are the sort of person who involves themselves in these things, you are within your rights to report her.
If you wouldn't usually do that, then you shouldn't be using covid rules to justify your revenge.
If you are usually a decent woman, with dignity, who isn't petty and spiteful, don't let a man turn you into less than you are.
And her life isn't going to be a bed of roses, whatever it looks like on FB, as she has your faithless ex to contend with.

5128gap · 15/02/2021 11:10

And just to add, they will absolutely know it's you, anonymous or not, and will be laughing at how jealous you must be.
Or, worse decide to get back at you. Unless you're blameless in every aspect of your own life, and nothing they could say or do could ever embarrass or upset you, I wouldn't want to start a war, especially with children in the middle.

Powwow401 · 15/02/2021 11:17

I would say she's definitely breaking rules and I see people do it all the time which really pisses me off when I'm doing my best to adhere to them and hardly leave the house. I wouldn't care what she was up to but if he's seeing her and seeing your children it's hard to know where they have all been who there mixing with and if he's putting the children at risk 🤷‍♀️. If any of them got COVID I wouldn't want to be the one explaining to track and trace about my 300 mile journeys 🤣. I think more of us than we'd like to admit have been there, looking at Facebook, feeling resentful and angry we just don't act on it. Block her don't upset yourself. Times a great healer you will feel better about the situation in time. If karma exists just wait for that lol hold your head up high, rise above it and be the better person xx

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 11:25

@isthismylifenow

Get revenge another way OP.

By moving on from your ex and it wont harm anyone if he sees that you are happy and able to move forward without him.

I know the feeling. I have been there.

Perhaps take break from facebook completely. And don't engage or put yourself in a position that is not good for you right now.

In time, things will be better. Flowers

Thanks xx
OP posts:
Pinkmarsh · 15/02/2021 11:26

It’s quite simple - don’t be a dick! Seriously I despair of posts like this!

brownet · 15/02/2021 11:31

I think some people don't understand what a childcare bubble is" it's a bubble for childcare, not for half term holidays. The clue is in the name

😆

Bluntness100 · 15/02/2021 11:32

I think peoooe are getting confused becayse it’s not so clear. I don’t think it’s clear the op wishes to report her because she is evangelical about Covid rules. It is highly likely she wants to report her because she’s her ex husbands new girlfriend. An she wants to have a go at her and cause her some pain because of it, because she’s jealous.

Op, you’ve been split up for a couple of years at least, likely longer. It’s over. He’s moved on, it’s not this woman’s fault your marriage ended. You can’t go after every woman he gets involved with. Stalking their social media and formulating plans to hurt them.

It would just highlight to them how jealous and bitter you are, and it will cause you the most pain of everyone, it’s really unhealthy for you.

Force yourself to block and not look. And focus on getting happy and healthy mentally.

PugInTheHouse · 15/02/2021 11:36

@ArabellaRockerfella She is 100% in the wrong here, I am on the fence whether you should report or not but probably jsut worth leaving as not worth the hassle to you if your XH finds out.

Also there is so much misimformation on here. If she has a support bubble she can only have that one other household (ie your XH) and he can't see anyone else. A childcare bubble is only for the child to see the person who is doing the childcare (other than the drop off), it explicitely says that the adults are not allowed to mix.

If everyone did this we would be in lockdown for years, I don't buy that everyone breaking rules have severe MH issues, need the support etc. I am really not sure the 20+ young men in our local park playing a game off football and jumping all over each other have any excuse but I am sure MN will find one.

PugInTheHouse · 15/02/2021 11:41

I agree @Sarcobaleno it affects so many people if any of them catch covid, not just them, what about the hospital staff, shop staff they may have come into contact with, paramedics if they are taken to hospital and so many more. How can anyone be so narrow minded to not understand this.

Original poster
ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 13:18

@Pinkmarsh

It’s quite simple - don’t be a dick! Seriously I despair of posts like this!
I'm not usually a dick but heartbreak does funny things to you. I hope you never have to go through it :(
OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 15/02/2021 13:24

Oh fgs OP. Don’t do it. Be disciplined and stop stalking her on SM. Move on - this shit isn’t helping you.

Chunkymenrock · 15/02/2021 13:28

Report the smug fucker. No idea why she thinks she's special.

OhWhyNot · 15/02/2021 13:32

Heartbreak does make you act out of character we have all had negative thoughts or obsessed over things too much It’s part of healing but unfortunately SM allows you to keep stuck in that place where normally we would resolve the issue ourselves and move on

But be kind to yourself and stop looking. It’s time to let yourself heal and move on

BarbaraofKent · 15/02/2021 13:41

I know someone who has been plastering her rule breaking all over social media, didn't seem to give a fuck! It was the worst over Xmas and she was in one of the major hotpots! I have been fairly relaxed about 'rule breaking' and am definitely not a curtain twitcher but it was just so blatant and constant. It really pissed me off and I was so tempted to leave a comment, but I realised that I had to just leave it, concentrate on what I was doing and accept that some people are dicks. I know it's hard when it's your ex's new girlfriend, but the best course of action is definitely the high road in this case!

The woman I was talking about seems to have stopped posting her rule breaking completely over the last few weeks, so either someone had a word and told her to cop herself on and stop being such a twat, or she came to that realisation herself Smile

Cornettoninja · 15/02/2021 13:42

Don’t feel too bad @ArabellaRockerfella, a lot of it is personality type, no judgement - I’m a naturally an envious/jealous fucker! It’s important to recognise it for what it is though and understand that following these feelings often lead to further heartache and very rarely satisfaction.

People who don’t think that way don’t really understand what a visceral, all consuming feeling it can be. They’ll have their own weakness to deal with.

It’s really hard to let those feelings go and rewrite you’re own script to follow, but it’s so liberating and joyful to finally be able to say you don’t give a fuck and mean it when you get there.

notacooldad · 15/02/2021 13:42

I'm not usually a dick but heartbreak does funny things to you. I hope you never have to go through it
I've been through it and seriously regret some of the things I did.
Even decades later I still feel shame.
We are trying to give you good advice.
Your heart will mend eventually but your actions will remain.
You don't know anyone full story.

SoupDragon · 15/02/2021 13:51

We are trying to give you good advice.

The poster she was responding to wasn't.

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