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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report her Covid breach?

342 replies

ArabellaRockerfella · 15/02/2021 00:19

I admit I'm a bit bitter and prone to thoughts of revenge so I could do with some rational thoughts here.
My recently ex husband has a new girlfriend. She records her and her child's life on Facebook. It's all on public, no filters!
In January her parents drove 300miles to visit her for 'much needed cuddles'
She has just driven 300 miles with her child to visit them for a half term break. It's all mud masks and lovely walks and mummy time!
It's really grinding my gears! When some of us are playing by the rules and not driving 10 miles to see our loved ones.
I really want to report her as I know her address, car reg etc.
All public on Facebook!
To report a Covid breach though you have to give your own details and my ex has a temper! I don't want my name to be implicated.
Should I just leave it alone and get a life?
What would you do?

OP posts:
AdriannaP · 15/02/2021 08:55

Please OP stop looking at her Facebook and get a life. Does it really bring you that much pleasure reporting her?

Babyboomtastic · 15/02/2021 08:57

I don't think this was the OW...

The OP was part way through sorting the divorce at the tail end of 2019, so realistically they split at least 18m ago, probably more, and the gf is described as a new girlfriend. Add to that there OPs reluctance to clarify the matter, and I think people here are potentially vilifying a woman who hasn't done anything wrong.

brownet · 15/02/2021 08:58

You have three children with your ex.

I missed that bit, do the dc see the dad? If so I'd be seriously pissed if she wasn't been careful re covid & it absolutely would be the OPs business.

Aquariussuns · 15/02/2021 08:58

Whatever issue you have with your ex should not be projected on to his new girlfriend. Thoughts of revenge are very low vibration.
I think perhaps you should spend less time on Facebook and maybe work through your feelings and why you choose to focus on ruminating over other people’s lives. It will do you good to try and let go of these feelings.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 15/02/2021 08:58

@Mally2020

most of you clearly do not understand the rules and are stupid. No she cannot travel 300 miles even to 'build a bubble' it has to be in same area. Report her.
Well you're wrong. It can be as near or as far as you want/need.

However it sounds like the gf is seeing her parents and the OPs ex which is not allowed.

OP, although she is breaking the rules, I wouldn't report her. I can understand why you want to though. You're hurting and that's normal. For your own sanity you need to block her on Facebook. Flowers

dontdisturbmenow · 15/02/2021 09:00

This is one of the reasons there were still big infection rates during this lockdown because people have been seeing who they want, mixing with multiple households and just telling everyone they're in bubbles
Sadly witnessed this too. 3 adults and 6 children in a small 2 bedroom flat on the basis that one adult is a single mother. Can't get much worse than that for transmission!

brownet · 15/02/2021 09:01

I think people here are potentially vilifying a woman who hasn't done anything wrong
Who's vilifying her? whether she's the OW or a random she's still breaking rules if seeing parents & staying & seeing the ex. Why do you think she hasn't done anything wrong?

Iwonder08 · 15/02/2021 09:01

Don't be one of the bitter petty ex wives. Step away from Facebook and concentrate on rebuilding your own life.

maddy68 · 15/02/2021 09:06

What do you expect to gain from it? How will reporting her improve your life?

Why are you stalking her?

You know you're just being bitter and you will gain nothing. Block her, why give them headroom? You're just torturing yourself plus you have no idea of her circumstances (who ever puts anything real on social media ).

Grow up, and block her

Bluntness100 · 15/02/2021 09:07

Op, this isn’t who he left you for was it, she’s literally what you said, a new girlfriend?

You need to stop stalking her on line, put ideas of reporting out your head, and focus on healing and moving on. Maybe try to get some counselling. Honestly you don’t want to be that ex wife. You really don’t.

Ethelfromnumber73 · 15/02/2021 09:08

Reporting her will send your ex husband the clear message that you still care. Don't do it. Pretend to be indifferent even if you are not there yet.

notacooldad · 15/02/2021 09:08

I assume you're not friends with her on facebook though.

No, not a friend.
So stop snooping. All you are doing is tormenting yourself.
Remember people usually put their best version on fb. She could be going for a number of reasons she doesn't want to publish.
Concentrate on making your own life happy again.
By keep going on her page you are just winding yourself up

.

Quartz2208 · 15/02/2021 09:10

Reporting her will briefly make you feel better and then will make you feel much much worse. It wont help you at all move on at all.

You say he has a temper - you are probably better of without him. Move forward with your life

Hammonds · 15/02/2021 09:11

@unbotheredbutbewildered

‘A catastrophic life event’ is the best description for ‘your scumbag husband left you’ that I’ve seen on MN.

You’re clearly hurting OP. But that doesn’t mean you should act like a bunny boiling psycho. It’s not going to make you feel any better. Just block her on Facebook, eat some custard creams and count yourself lucky; you had a narrow escape from the tosspotting fuckmuppet.

It’s actually considered to be one along with death and war - every day is a school day!
SuperbGorgonzola · 15/02/2021 09:14

Agree with everyone else. Imagine the tale as she would tell it...

His ex is so obsessed with me that she stalks my facebook page and reported me to the police. She had been tracking what I was doing for months. She must have nothing else in her life, so jealous etc .....

Yikes.

NotTerfNorCis · 15/02/2021 09:15

I wouldn't report her. But it is true that what she and her parents are doing it technically illegal. Single households can form support bubbles but are only supposed to visit in the local area, not travel 300 miles.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 15/02/2021 09:17

Just leave it well alone

LolaSmiles · 15/02/2021 09:21

If she lives alone, she can have a childcare bubble and a support bubble. The childcare bubble is for childcare only, not to socialise or mix freely.
She can't be seeing her family and a non-resident partner.

By the sounds of it she is being totally unreasonable, but it sounds like you're trying to point score and have an unhealthy obsession with her.

Mrsmummy90 · 15/02/2021 09:22

She's allowed a support bubble if she's a single parent.

Stop stalking her Facebook. It's not healthy and will only stress you out.

Blindstupid · 15/02/2021 09:23

whatwould ... no you can’t travel 300 miles!

mercimacherie · 15/02/2021 09:23

Don't report her.
Stop facebook stalking her.
If you want to visit your family who live less than 10 miles away go visit them.

Thomasina2021 · 15/02/2021 09:24

Me and my dp are in a support bubble and he drives a long way to be with me every other week

Don’t do it OP - you will only hurt yourself . Karma

NerrSnerr · 15/02/2021 09:26

@Mrsmummy90

She's allowed a support bubble if she's a single parent.

Stop stalking her Facebook. It's not healthy and will only stress you out.

She's not allowed 2 though. She already visits the OP's ex every 2 weeks
goodwinter · 15/02/2021 09:26

@Mally2020

most of you clearly do not understand the rules and are stupid. No she cannot travel 300 miles even to 'build a bubble' it has to be in same area. Report her.
How ironic you're calling us stupid when you have a completely incorrect understanding of the rules. Some people don't have local friends or family.
brownet · 15/02/2021 09:26

She's allowed a support bubble if she's a single parent.

No ones claimed otherwise.